Well.. I’m starting to think it’s my time to go.I can feel so tragic but yet so calm about saying I want to die.I want to do things like Christmas but if I share and show im upset now I’ll be in the hospital for Christmas. I don’t want that. There’s nothing to like about me.I don’t even like myself and I never will.Im trying to figure out a time when to end it but I can’t find it and my suicide note isn’t even that good.Im messing my life up. Making people worried, wanting to kill myself,think everyone hates me out of the blue.I […]
think
hey every one I just want to tell this advice to every girl if you ever love someone it’s ok love him but don’t ever give him your body let him play with him ,because you will regret it after believe me . I know you will give him your body because you love him but he would be just playing with your emotions and passing his time with you . after he plays with you he would tell you simply (I can’t stay in this relationship) simply as if nothing had happened . and you would start crying in your bedroom and he would […]
I don’t feel like I’m human. I don’t subscribe to whatever it is you feel anymore. It all feels like it’s so far away from myself.
So what am I? I don’t even know. For 10 years I feel like I’ve just been imitating the personalities of other people, and that’s what I was; a shell around a void, just to try fit in, to feel like I belong.
Now all that has failed and crumbled away, just like the people. I feel only indifference or anger towards those I see or think about. Their words circle in my mind like torture constantly.
I think about what I would […]
This is my first time posting here and I’m not really sure whether I’m on the right track regarding what this site is about…
For the past 3 years I have had reoccurring suicidal thoughts and a couple of failed attempts. The idea of being free from this life is so inviting! In a way, I’m ashamed and I know that I don’t want to hurt my family. I’m trying to remove these thoughts from my head but the battle is tough. The only thing stopping me is knowing that I don’t want my younger siblings to ever suffer as I am.
My self esteem is pitiful. […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
sometimes you loose sense of everything, especially, if you are all surround by you enemies. And indiana jones doesn’t seem, he is their to save you. But rather to see you get scavenge. One wise man has said, the worst enemy of yours is always closer to you and you won’t know him until the itching voice of the trigger getting pulled down. And you are so close to your defeat such that, you don’t even have the time to calculate how much time you have left. Hmm… A wise man, eh ? But then once you know him; even on that little time, you […]
dear sp, i want to thank you, all of you, for saving my life. this episode has been a rough one, with closer calls than i care to think of. yea, life is still shit, and still not sure what all to do to fix it. however, i found a group of like minded people, with the same problems. how refreshing. all of your words touch the fabric of my being. i carry your pain and anguish as my own, as they are the same as mine. what amazing people i have found here. such talent. such wit.(kumbuyya moment folks, woo hoo) will we survive? […]
i think it was the lack of sleep that sent me over…..the edge is not a quantitive thing that can be easily explained to those of whom have not been privy to the discomfort that comes with going over it….i had a ceasure and hurt my hip in the process i suppose, i was not concious for it so am therefor unsure…..i spent some time away but life has yet to leave, for which i am obliquely thankful, greatful even….
a man died and went to hell. after wandering around for a while, he ran across the devil. the man said ” ya know, devil, ive been here for awhile, and its really boring. do you have anything to do down here?” the devil looked at the man and said “why, of course we do. do you like to drink?” the man said “yes, yes i do like to drink”. the devil replied ” on mondays, we drink as much as we want,from dawn to dark, whatever flavor you want,beer, wine, whiskey.” the devil continued,” do you like to do drugs?” the man said ” […]
I keep reliving the same day over and over again. Wake up, nothing has changed. My thoughts instantly go to suicide to stop the pain. I constantly think about what I’ve lost and that there is nothing left. I’m so tired of crying every day. Now I’m to the point of this horrendous wail that I can’t control. I’m alone in a 5 bedroom house and the sound just echoes off of everything. Has anyone else experienced this heart wrenching moan? It used to be just simple crying but now it’s just a primal howl. Various times throughout the day, I wish for something to […]
Hi im 20 and ive benn doing weed for like 6 years or 7 i tryed once to commit suicide but i was not ready ive benn doing ither drugs to but ive been doing weed every day for the last 2 years and qhile im high i think my self dying couz i cant stand my family problems and what my parents do to my brothers too and im just a fucking punk who likes to sell weed drugs and have knifes so i think very strong a way put by giving an end couz im at my limits cant stand this thing anymore.
we are all humans we all make mistakes and learn from them ,but sometimes our big mistakes can lead us to depression . sometimes there are some mistakes that you can’t fix them and when you think about it you feel guilty and you start to hate your self!!!. but you can never fix a mistake by a bigger mistake (you can never fix your mistake by suicide).sometimes you really enjoy your time while making a mistake and you feel proud but we don’t know that this feeling will change and will regret it . and whenever we remember our mistake we start crying or […]
we decide whether to be happy in our lives or to take everything in a negative way. I learnt a very important lesson in life which is to make people all my friends and laugh with them and have fun, but never tell your secret to anyone keep your secrets for you because some people will listen to you but then they will make fun of you. if you feel you need to talk just write o a paper what is annoying you . just be happy and don’t over think and try to be positive ..
Every day it gets worse and worse, not quickly though… slow, like an hour glass that seems to never end but it does, just so slowly that it seems like it never changes.
Some days I don’t think of it too much, other days are a nightmare and other days at it’s worst i cut. When I’m alone its at it’s worst and yet when I’m alone is the only time I don’t feel alone… if that makes sense, its like when I’m around other people I feel more alone than ever because no one understands, no one wants to know or care and I don’t […]
i was gonna do it weeks ago. but something, someone stopped me, canceled out the pain, but now, they’re all i can think about and if im not thinking about them im struck down by stomachaches to the point of nausea, of crying. i know i will never see them again. they dont even know my name. i want to do it, but im just so confused rn idk like i just dont know
I’m sorry it’s a tad long but please read?
So I managed to stumble across ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ roughly five days ago, and, although I vaguely knew what it was, I wasn’t entirely sure. As curiosity would have it, I looked up the definition and symptoms. And after reading the list on multiple sites, I’m beginning to feel like something like this may be what’s wrong with me.
Now I hate it when people self-diagnose, and this is pretty much the same as that, but I am genuinely concerned yet don’t want to self-diagnose. For one, I don’t want to have a mental illness (the hospital tried […]
I have tried suicide so many times and ended up in hospital, but all i want is for the pain to stop, my ex boyfriend to leave me alone, he is the reason i’m in this mess, killing my baby and beating me up, breaking my bones and my heart. scars and nightmares is all i have now, and i just want to be better and feel better but i cant. he turns up and beats 50 shades of shit out of me, and all i can do is smile and pretend nothing is going on. when i feel like i need to tell someone […]
I hate myself. I hate my mind. I hate how it warps my sources of happiness into sources of anguish. All of the people and passions that made life worth living now make life unbearable. I can’t trust anyone, not because I’ve been hurt, but because I am paranoid and afraid. I don’t want to disappoint them or make them hate me. Because my mind is so twisted, I will take their most minute actions and scrutinize them…fabricate reasons why they might hate and despise me. I tell myself my family only stays with me out of pity. I tell myself that former friends are […]
Lately I have been thinking, I am not the person I used to be. The fact that I can’t get it out of my head makes me so fucking sad. I think back at the person I used to be and now that things have changed… Many, many things have changed. It makes me so mad and depressed about it. It sucks too because I just want to not think about it. But they won’t leave. I can’t think of any way to stop thinking than to just “stop existing.” Because why else should I even be here, if I am just going to keep […]
I love yur smile yur eyes the fact yu think yur hair is blonde yur jaw line Yur muscles yur body yur teeth yur funny af yu don’t care abt people that don’t matter yu care for the ones close to yu that yu love I love how sometimes yu stand lik a ****** I love yur voice cuz I’ve never hear anyone even slightly similar to yu :3 I love yur huge head I love the way yu wrap yur arms around me and don’t let me go even when it pisses me off I love how yur so different I can learn something […]