I’ve been dead for a while now. I have removed myself from friends and family, acquaintances, reality. I have sat in one room for 2 days now. No one has missed me or checked on me either. Not moving except to go to the bathroom. Well, longer than that if you want to be technical. For about a year and a half, I have gone through the motions of living. I have a steady job and income. But I realize that I’ve been dead for a long time. At least dead to who I used to be and maybe I never really was anyone to […]
think
I told my bestfriends i think of suicide everynight. Of course i didnt just randomly bring up the suject. They demand to know whats wrong. Then when i tell them they say oh you already told me that. Okay so did you want to know for your health? they didnt even give a fuck. Confiding in other people is pointless
When do you know when to give up? Because i think its my time. A person can only handle so much. My whole life has been hard. My mom has verbally abused me. Tried to fight me and passed that on to my sister. They think the worst of me. But I’m pretty poplular. Not because im attractive or sluty but because im the person people go to for advice or someone to lean on.
I dont fight or do drugs I respect everyone because I want respect back. On my 17th birthday in june 2014 my mom died. Yes on my birthday. I still smile […]
I’ve hated myself for over a year now. Everything from my face to my personality makes me want to cringe. And it makes me feel so lonely, as if there will never be anyone who loves me because I can’t even love myself.
It makes me feel as if I deserve to die, as if I deserve the hell-hole that is depression. I’ve dug myself deep into a hole and I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to look at the mirror and not cry at the reflection that stares back at me.
How is it possible to feel so lonely and sad […]
With every step forward I use to think it was a step away, and in a way it was. A step into the future, not a better future but a future none the less. It’s funny but when the past is dark and you start to make moves into the future, you can believe the future to be brighter, or that the darkness is the past. It’s amazing how easy it is to make yourself believe something, all you need is the desire to believe it, belief in something doesn’t make it true but it offers comfort to believe that the future holds more than […]
Most of you don’t know me, because I’ve usually been pretty quiet here. I’ve read a lot of posts over the years here, however. A precious few of them have even made me feel better, for a time. Thanks to this site and those people who have posted here for making me feel better, if only for a little while.
I’m thinking about bringing things to a close this weekend. I don’t want to back myself into a corner by making it a firm decision, but I think it might be time.
I let it slip at work today that I might not be coming into work […]
Yeah, that’s right. You heard me. You’re beautiful. No matter what you think, you are. If no one has told you that today, then I will. Because you are. Sometimes it just takes the help of someone else to see that.
Today I was feeling pretty down this morning. It took the help of a friend to pick me up again. I suffer from depression and earlier this spring, I suffered my worst episode yet that ended with me calling the Suicide Hotline at twelve in the morning. Needless to say, I found out that there weren’t any actually resources to help me in my local […]
I know what I want to do. I’ve always known it. Yet somehow it never gets done. I asked my therapist to just think of me finally getting everything he ever thought I would enjoy. People don’t think that way; especially not therapists. I am ashamed of my feelings. I think of all of the people who will die today; many of whom have very real reasons for wanting to live. I just think why can’t it be me? If X number of ppl need to die today why can’t one of them be me. A person who doesn’t want to live anymore. Do any […]
We all have those moments where we just want to die. This was a feeling that I had that was stronger than ever. Since I was a little girl, I was fat and I have been called fat. I’m not gonna lie…it hurt badly. It made me feel terrible. Those beautiful girls out there were skinny, so where does that leave me? I cried and cried myself to sleep sometimes because I was ugly and fat. As I got older, it was worst. You were judged all the time, whether if it was how pretty you were, what was your weight, or the clothes you […]
So I ended up here because I thought I might meet people who think and feel like me.
Every single post makes me feel as if it was mine. But the thing is that here or in real life I’m not able to confront my fears of being rejected and meet new people.
So I thought maybe if I stated my centers of interests I might meet someone who share them.
1. I’m a BIG HUGE fan of Ken Follett.
2. I’m a pianist and I love music above everything else (not only classical but also rock and alternative, my favourite band being Coldplay)
3. I love reading and building […]
For a while I didn’t create an account on here and a lot of posts are just inspiring and resonate a lot.
I bookmarked a couple and thought about taking bits and pieces and making a collage with quotes.
Can anyone else suggest other ideas?
I just think it’s nice to be reminded it’s okay to feel the way you do and that you’re not alone.
Do you think it’s painful? I have come across stories of others who have chosen this methos to have appeared to have thrashed around during their last moments, making me think that this might actually be a very dreadful way to go. I can only hope that the thrashing happens after the brain loses consciousness…
Any thoughts on this? Either educated guesses or preferably factual based, but any input would be appreciated.
Much thanks in advance,
CT
Life at home is Sad. My mom is losing it and all I can do is watch. She’s always had health problems but I didn’t notice the mental ones till I got older. Very forgetful, indecisive, and prone to fits of mental break downs. She has a good heart. But she doesn’t have the strength or funds to raise my baby bro. I’m afraid of his future.
I made the choice to join the Corps to better my life, maybe “die for my country” while I’m at it. I made it through training and felt on top of the world. I thought the way my mom […]
I’m a 28 year old Canadian male and drawing a blank on what to do with the rest of my life. I have a high school diploma, full-time job with 8 years of experience(sorting mail and making photocopies), perfect sized apartment in an upscale neighborhood and got a bargain on rent price, no women/children/pets/infirmed family to worry about except for my 14 year old brother who I tutor 3 times a week. My friends all live within 20 minutes and I see them 3-4 times a month.
I can’t think of anything else that I want, so why bother going on? I could get a girlfriend, […]
No matter how much my human brain likes to think otherwise, I am completely and utterly alone.
i am sorry for my English.
i have read some of the post and I can understand them.
I had a good life, good friends and family, I had before though about suicide but I always knew that I don’t really going to do this. And I never understand why I have them.
I don’t want to die and I don’t think anyone want but the pain is sometimes so strong, I have decided to do this because I am too weak and tired. I don’t going to write a suicide note to anyone this is not going to help them, they need to forget about me. So […]
something so beautiful and puzzling about the quickness in which ants die, when there’s just a bunch all swarming to a tiny bit of mountain dew that’s spilled on the counter, completely indulging in their desire. ants can’t really do much except mate and eat. human activities for ‘fun’ are just our creation… so, when ants give into their desires and slurp mountain dew and piss off humans, are they sinning, or what? do they even know they’re making people mad? or do they just think it’s a gift from above? do ants even think at all? does any thinking that humans do or anything […]
I don’t really know why I am posting here or why it is that I am sharing this with strangers.
I think all the things happening in my life right now that have driven me over the edge are irrelevant.
The anxiety and pain are almost gone and I feel completely numb.
I thought about Suicide before, many times. And every time I got very close.
Right now I am as close to finalizing it as never before, being alone in a hotel room, away from my loved ones, with 7 bottles of prescription pills lined up in the side table.
And the silly thing is, all I can think […]
I believe life is essentially pointless.
I say this not necessarily because I feel our everyday experiences are void of meaning, but because we are going to inevitably forget all of our experiences, we will have no way of knowing we ever existed; in essence, nothing will have mattered.
It is to my understanding, that this this belief is what fundamentally causes me to be such a calm and reserved individual. Very seldomly does something really get to me, in the back of my mind, I know the clock is ticking to my death, I […]
It seems like all of my life has been predetermined, as if my thoughts and actions are actually beyond my control. It’s like existing without really existing. It sucks because no matter what I do, I feel that I am not doing it. I sometimes feel like life is just a movie with sentience included. That’s depressing, because all of the pain that I feel is much like an illusion. Perhaps I’m not feeling pain, but I am experiencing a set of physiochemical processes taking place that make me think that I am feeling something, when ultimately, I am no more alive than a rock. […]