as long as i chudd remember my mom was on drugs. wen she was high on pills me nd my sister picking her uhp off dha floor nd putting her on dha bed, making shure she ate, nd giving her a bath became a every day routine. we were young, very young nd we had to run behind our mom like a toddler. our dad wasnt going to do iht nor was our brothers, he had a enough wit her popping pills nd being selfish. me nd my sister was too bhuh our love for our mom was so much dhatt iht chuddnt let us leave her der. […]
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Tho
yup. I cut last night. Just one but I couldn’t ‘not’ cut -.- I hate my brother. I like looking at it -.- blood came almost through the band-aid. beautiful -.- yeah I’m weird, whatever. I missed it tho.
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
what do you do when you can’t take it anymore. You have people willing to help but because they probably tired of hearing it. And what can they do to help? Its not a quick fix. What do I do, when I have a best friend. And shes not a normal best friend, shes like a sister, but more. Someone I love more than anything in the world. Someone Im there for all the time and the only reason im here right now is because I love her to much to let her go. Selfish in a way I guess. But even tho she means […]
My family hates me, they always tell me they do. I hate how i remember it when i was little, how happy we all were. Now look, im scared to go home. I hate the people i should love. It drives me insane, how my own father can scream at me ” aww you going to cry, GOOD, now you can go f*ckin cut yourself!!!” I feel numb. From all this stress and pain. It makes me wanna die, makes me think they are better off without me. I know my mom is, she already left me here. My dad already wants to. I should […]
Everyday thoughts of taking my life are becoming more of a reality to me. I worry tho about my sweet daughter jenni who is the happiest little ray of sunshine I have been blessed with. She’s 22 years old now, lives with her boyfriend and just lives life. My 20 year old son is so lost in this world trying to find his way. He doesn’t really need me because he’s he’ll bent to do every thing his way. He’s a good kid tho. My youngest daughter is 18. She just graduated from hs and thinks she knows everything. […]
So, I’ve been thinking about running away..I know it’s wrong to run away from your problems. Tho I don’t really care anymore, ya I’ll probably miss my family a bit.. And I know it’s wrong to leave them so I’ll probably never actually do it.. Tho I wish .. Im a coward..
Ugh life is hard… I want a flat stomach and skinny thighs which hasn’t happened yet..
:/ I want to die but I don’t. I just want to be happy and have no care in the world. Tho that seems impossible…
-RawrImaTurtle….
my friend knows about this site and read all my posts..hes trying to help tho..which im thankful for…hes a good friend and i take him for granted and i shouldnt do that…. ugh.. my family is a pain..the other day at lunch my sister was like “i think she’s bulimic and anorexic, she never eats” the thing is i actually am… ugh i wanted to cry… fucking life sucks…
i need help.. i know i do.. i hate admitting it tho… i had another nightmare lastnight… about me being locked in a white room, nothing else in it but me.. i went insane… i hated it… […]
I guess I’m not quite sure what to do at this point, so I need ur input. I’m 18 years old and ever since 5th grade I’ve wanted to die…or at least I didn’t care to live. In the past few years I’ve been but into a hospital four times due to breakdowns, see I’m stuck in this cycle between life and death and I don’t think itll ever end till th day I die. I’m terrified of existing, and I have several mental Heath problems that have caused me to lose all my friends…I push them away without realizing it, but it’s only […]
just a random impulse to kill myself tonite, i need to be free fromthis sick joke called ”life”. i probably wont be successfull tho… im a very confused 18 y old girl. life hasnt given me reason to haveany interest in it.i love being alone. wish icould describe how i genuinely feel. i havebeen stronger than anyone could be if theyve been wat ive been through…idont even know watim thnking let alone saying..ive been hurting for farrrr tooo long,, i dont wish this pain on anyone.
Well she’s still not home still not answering her calls. So I assume she is with that other guy. I wrote out my last words & testaments. I think I’m ready to see GOD now! So here goes nothing! I Father who tho in heaven hallow be thy name thy Kingdom come thy will be done on earth that it is to heaven give us today my daily bread & forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us & lead us not into temptation but delivery us from evil for thy is the kingdom the power & the glory forever & ever […]
the past few days have been a blur really… like its all just a dream.. tho i know its not.. my brain is all jumbled up.. i try to think and i freak out a bit becuz it just get worse.. ugh life.. i go to the doctors today for my seconds check up about my depression.. hopefully it goes good… i feel so lost.. so very very lost in this world… i have no idea where im going..
-RawrImaTurtle…..
Sometimes life gets so sickingly boring I find ways to leave it. I begin to obsess over things to get my mind of life. I obsess over anything from a band to a tv show. I even obsess over ideas. For example one day i was so bored i looked online for a specific jacket that a guy from a band i love wore in a music video. I spent the entire day finding this jacket. Then once i found it i realized it was already 4am. I hadn’t eaten the whole day. I hadn’t even left my room for anything but bathroom breaks. I […]
some of my friends think I’m getting worse.. i can feel it too… it so hard! why is it have to be hard! ya no body said life would be easy. but i never thought it would be this hard…
my “group” of friends all know what they want to do when they’re older and done high school…. but i have no clue! and ya i know I’m only 14 and i have LOTS of time to figure it out. but do i really? high school goes by so fast… soon i’ll be in grade 12 and still with no idea what to do….
its […]
when people ask me how i am i don’t respond, becuz i can’t anymore.. i don’t know whats happening tho i feel I’m getting worse… ugh.. I’m in so much pain and i don’t know what to do anymore… i can’t even try to explain it to ppl anymore… its like I’m giving up.. but I’m still scared… i cry more uncontrollably.. i get mad at people more.. i piss people off more… and my friends seems like they’re leaving a bit…. or just getting more distant… I’m so F*CKING lost….. and scared and alone….
-RawrImaTurtle….
i know a lot of people come on here and just complain…and then some other guy comments something inspirational, like those few words are really going to make up for a life full of pain, regret, and anger? i understand tho, im always that friend who tells them that their is always something to live for, im usually that person who tries to say something inspirational and save the day. But if i dont even believe in the crap im dishing out why should anybody else? am i that convincing? Or are my friends just so surprised that a pretty face can have brains too? […]
turning 27 next month and what do i have to show for it? nothing. that’s pretty much it. yes, i seem to have a lot to be thankful for. pretty regular childhood, supportive family, awesome guy. what’s missing? well, me. a stupid job. no money. more than that, now i think no skills. looks like i’ve wastd 3 yrs working at something i havent understood at all. coz even tho the current employer seems pretty happy with my performance, i’ve failed three job tests for what i hav been doing for so long. i have ultra nice friends too. all of whom get at least […]
is it weird that all of my past will never leave my mind… my childhoood was horrible being bullied. parents fighting….. trying to be happy. my grades are really good like always.. … and then there is him. mr. flirty-shy guy … he doesnt flirt alot. but .. yeaa. idk wat i did wrong. we dnt talk like we used too.. Â ehh.
I still cut tho… unfortunately ive tried to stop but its too addicting… its beeen almossttt 3 yeaarss. that ive been cutting… sometimes i stop for a week. or 2 months but it comes back.. Â any remedies to get over a crush?? Â ANY?????? Â any […]
Wow It was aaawwwesome!Wrestlinq Is one of the thinqs that keeps me qoinq.I’ve been watchinq It since I was nine.When I first laid my eyes on It,I fell In love.This years WrestleMania was qood!The thinq that I didn’t like was that The Rock won.Uqh he makes movies so who cares If he would’ve lost?Cena wrestles every week.That was The Rock’s old like and It Is Cena’s life so why’d they make him lose?And Sheamus,I don’t care that he won I just wished that I would’ve seen a match Instead of Daniel kissinq cute Aj and then turn around and qet kicked In the face.Triple H […]
Well geez…. i dont even know where to start. My parents fought since i was little. My sister would cover my ears so i wouldnt hear it. We moved to ohio in the 4th grade from Sacramento and i attended a private school. I was made fun of for being hyper as well as colorblind, being asked if i was retarded or gothic because i like black so i quickly learned to shut the fuck up and keep out of the spotlight. I transferred to public school in 7th grade and it was better but still not good but I guess all the suicide nonsense […]