turning 27 next month and what do i have to show for it? nothing. that’s pretty much it. yes, i seem to have a lot to be thankful for. pretty regular childhood, supportive family, awesome guy. what’s missing? well, me. a stupid job. no money. more than that, now i think no skills. looks like i’ve wastd 3 yrs working at something i havent understood at all. coz even tho the current employer seems pretty happy with my performance, i’ve failed three job tests for what i hav been doing for so long. i have ultra nice friends too. all of whom get at least twice of what i do at work.
i’ve tried to not wallow in selfpity but it doesnt seem to work. everything i’ve tried to do lately, i have failed in it. initially i could console myself. now i can’t anymore. i have no idea what i want. i think i’m hopeless and yet with every failure it feels like i’ve fallen short of whatever i thought i was. finding it difficult to see the point of my existence. i know these are trivial selfish reasons. but i do hate myself.