So I tore myself apart last night, I mean that literally. Even thought about how the scars would look once healed, but I still did it. No sleep, a scandalous female in my bed who is just 100% using me, and I think Im gonna get fired from my job.
Have any of you ever thought how easy life would be if we don’t have to please people and actually get the chance to mind our own business without getting anxious or insecure?
Because i have. So many times that i lost count.
Alice loved this so much Alice wanted to make it it’s own post, Alice feels like it needs to receive the attention it deserves Alice marvelous at how simple yet touching these words can be. So true Alice agrees it is so true
Save me? No.
But when I had someone who loved me, I was stronger and could take the unending waves that threaten to pull me under.
When I had someone who loved me, I had more confidence […]
That one thing we’re all searching for.
Whether you’re here because you’ve attempted, are planning on attempting or are just curious, were were all drawn here by one binding factor.
Death.
Death is not simple.
Death is not easy.
Death is complicated and painful, and explodes with the emotional force of an atom bomb.
Lives are ripped apart, relationships crumble, people are reduced to the most basic form of themselves.
It will make you feel things you never thought possible, do things you thought were beyond you, be the person you always feared.
Dying will feel like an eternity, whether your insides are dissolving from an overdose, or you’re blood is pumping onto […]
When I first started writing on this website, which is February 2012, I was going through little things. I was a senior in high school worried about the way I look. Like crying everyday because I thought I was ugly, or crying because my peers would make fun of me and somebody told me to kill myself. And as I look back at those moments, I wish I didn’t let that little stuff bother me. Because It was nothing. It was little. Let’s fast forward to my third year of college. I am at the point in my life where death and the afterlife does […]
Last night I tried to finish off my life. I’ve always thought about it and the other day I finally made a plan. I left my place and started walking. I began cutting pretty much right away and as I turned down a dark alley is when I took the first Vicodin. I felt it and didn’t like the feeling. I continued walking and cutting and I just started panicking . I finally broke and called my friend. She was going to let me go and I wasn’t going to let that happen. I managed to drag myself back to meet up with them. They […]
This is my first post on this website, I can’t really relate to a lot of people from this site other than the fact I’m depressed and often suicidal. I think about dieing everyday and what would people think of me if I commit suicide, I know I’m very selfish I have been my whole life, I guess because I was an only child and spoiled growing up,.. We’ll until I turned 18 and I left my parents house and moved out with a friend, I then really had no goals or direction so I started to slang drugs as a runner, with no real […]
SENDING YOU LOVE AND WISHING YOU A HAPPY EASTER FROM WONDERLAND ~ Alice
I hope this miserable crowd at least gets to spend Easter with someone they care about, i know this is a bullshit holiday but its the thought that counts.
I am 45 years old; I gather that I have thought about ending my life since the age of about nine. Never mind that most “normal” kids never think about killing themselves ever. To ponder suicide on a regular basis since you were in grade school seems a burden that no God should place on a person.
I have no will to accomplish anything. I feel very little except disgust about myself. Counseling rarely helps; I am such a people-pleaser that I seek to say whatever I think will make my counselor feel he/she has done a good job for the day. That’s jacked up, I […]
Thank whatever for weed and alcohol:-) It is inevitable that we will die weather its self inflicted or natural so either blow your Fukin head off or just relax, get fucked up and wait your turn, trust me its coming!!!
I keep analyzing myself and trying to find a more accurate way of defining what goes on in my head. By definition, It is almost like some violent form of ADHD. There are these sort of sensory gates that feed information to the brain. For someone with ADHD, those gates never close. There is this constant, overwhelming stream of information being fed to the brain at all times. So from what I can tell, (correct me if I’m wrong) a normal train of thought […]
This is my last time writing this to someone because I’m ending myself. Nothing seems worth living for except a few things, which are not yet here with me. What are those things? Having my first child. Having my first relationship. Drinking coconut juice, very refreshing. Anyways, here is my pouring out thoughts of you: I still think about you every day. I’m quite sure it’s not the same for you. But I wouldn’t know. Though you could say I’m still in love with you, I don’t consider I am, in fact, I feel I’m near over you. ‘We loved with a love that was […]
At night is when it gets the hardest I think more I can’t hide my thoughts with distractions. I don’t now how to deal with my pain other then self harm or drinking till I pass out. I want to die most nights because I can see them, I can feel his breath on my ear. I close my eyes tight wondering when it will end. I see blood I feel pain and i wonder why he thought it was ok? I wonder how I can continue to plaster this fake smile I have made up and walk around like I’m ok. I don’t feel […]
so I’m here to try and tell my story because someone said I should try… Well I not to sure where to start but all I know is that everyday is a challenge for me every since I was 9. Is it normal for a child to feel so much hurt and despair? Well I’m sure some might say no because its not normal because there must be something going on. I grew into my teens feeling the same I have thought so many times that I should end it maybe that will make things better. I don’t want not at all but its crossed […]
It all comes full circle. Nothing really left. I am 47 have not felt this way in awhile. Lost all that was good. I am not weak. But just cant stand the thought about what is left. Things dont really change. I was not a drinker. But all i want to do is get fucked up on alcohol, pills, weed. I need relief. I have good friends play in a band, but am alone always alone.
I just want to dance with you
Feel the ground disappear from beneath my feet
Look into your eyes and learn to see
A different side of who I am and who I want to be
I just want to sing with you
Feel the words pour out of my soul
Hold your hand and learn to breathe and let it keep me from drowning
I just want to say to you
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
I’m just so ashamed of who I am and showing you and losing you
I just want to be near you
I cling to every word you speak
I just […]
Lately, drugs have been one of my closest friends, and still the best I have to this moment in time. I’m 16 and ever since I was 14 I’ve just wanted to commit, nothing pleases me more then the thought of ending all the pain; from passings in my family to just being lonely. I’m home alone for most of the day outside of school, and I don’t have the grades for a future. School makes me want to hurt myself, the expectations are never met, no praise is ever given. I’m over it all, over everything, I used to be obese then something clicked […]
I feel so alone and like there is nothing left for me to do anymore. I do not see a point of me being here. I am going to plan things accordingly.. Until then.. I am going to do what ever it is to be okay but I need to figure out a better method. I do not like to put a lot of thought into it because sometimes I get scared about what ever it is that could go wrong and I would still be here. I hate that I have to suffer inside and that no one at school or at home sees […]
I have this suicidal thoughts and It’s horrible and ironic and hilarious because I’m going to die and I’m thinking of killing myself! I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I don’t have a future, why waste this months? I feel so stupid because of this.. still don’t know where my mom is, she don’t give a shit about me hahha I’m so alone, I know you are going to tell me I’m not but I feel that way and It’s so stupid. S.O.S
The end justifies the beginning,
“Take a step to oblivious, “he says.
“We came a long way to give up
You’re at cliff’s edge, one more simple step.”
“Embrace the fall,” he continuous
“Gently let go of the sorrow,
In the end I’ll well welcome you with open arms,
We’ll even sing one of His psalms.”
“Take my hand,” he says.
“There are no holes in my palms.”
I snap back, thought rang, “This is deadlier than reality.”
I smile and say, “let’s try this tomorrow.”
“The loneliness almost had me,
Somehow you came thru with that calming devilish voice,
At least someone to talk to when no one is.”
As far as answering the call, hold on
I’m not ready to […]