Believe it or not but i am only 13. I might as well begin with I have attempted suicide numerous amount of times; Cutting, Hanging an this might sound ridiculous but putting a knife in a toaster. Every time it ended up with me getting hurt and my mother covering it up as she thought if anyone knew i would be taken away from her. My Mother is mentally ill might i add (bipolar and depression). I myself have depression and it brings me down like a ton of bricks (correct me if i am using that phrase wrong) it brings me down to states […]
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thought
I’m 23 years old. Female. Hispanic. I’ve always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I could remember. I know it first started when I was 12. Broke a pocket mirror in my mom’s car and tried to cut myself with the broken pieces. I remember taking a sewing class in school and I would pierce the needle in a pinch of the skin on my left forearm. After a while it didn’t hurt anymore. Being a teenage girl I understand my reasons for not feeling a ton of pain with my self inflicting pain. I was a constant victim of bullying throughout my entire […]
I’ve been gone for a while. i was better, or i thought i was better. i guess not. i went to training this summer to be a camp counsellor. i met so many friends and i stopped self harming. i was happy for the first time in years. but now, it’s suddenly hit down like a pile of bricks and i dont even have the energy to leave the house or talk to anyone. i have absolutely nobody to talk to and no friends left who care. i started cutting again. i feel so completely alone and this crushing feeling of sadness won’t go away. […]
I was searching Google for the painless pill people were discussing last night and came across a link to the most common ways oncr thought yo be painless but really are painful. It’s a site called something like o pish posh. You’ll see it. It ran down ods from pills to hanging which I knew was painful cuz it takes up to twenty mins to die and even addresses jumpin from a tall building which people do survive. It’s gotta be at least 25 stories. Then they play an amazing video documentary called the bridge. Interviewing witnesses family and one survivorxwo jumper the 245 foot […]
This time i thought everything was ok..i thought it was all going to be better…but here i am again..scared of everyone that looks at me..wondering what the hell they think…thinking they think i am insane… am i insane? i feel like everyone is watching me all the time..watching what i do… judging me..my logical mind knows this is not true..people have so much more to think about in the day..not everything is about me..but why is that how i feel..why do i feel like they are all judging me for every action i take..no matter how small… good or bad..
i feel like everything i do […]
Who am i.
What am i.
Is any of this real.
I was brought into existence so why the fuck cant i feel.
I’ve thought myself crazy
Nothing seems benign.
I cant bring myself to distinguish good times from death that passes by.
It’s fake.
A lie.
It’s all just in my mind.
It started with philosophies but now i don’t know if i’m alive.
Who am I.
“It starts out with a question. How much of it is real?
The skepticism sets in, and lessens your appeal
Next, you study conspiracy, develop some theories
And become extra wary of all your previous learned material
Your tolerence for stupidity degrades
Most of your friends seem to be trapped in the maze
You narrow your associates down to the few you can stand
And even they sometimes wonder what’s going on in that head of yours
You study east and western philosophy, psychology, physics
You think […]
I’m currently stuck in another country that is not mine. Initially didn’t want to go on this trip as I am having depression. But I didn’t want to let friend A go alone with a group of people that he wants close to. However, depression strikes and I just couldn’t take it. Last night, I spent quite some time in the toilet crying about it and he couldn’t understand hence he didn’t do anything. Today, I found out that friend B told this friend A to totally ignore me. I’m currently out of the hotel room with nothing but a phone. No passport to rent […]
so in a efort of seperating lies from truth in my confused head in going to experament with this self help i havent posted on here for qwite some time apart form two posts last night frustrated that all the people i once knew were dead or missing i desided to try this this is my first try at leveing this place iv tryed 26 times that is to say 26 failed tryes and times were iv been a inch away… my first time i remember not so well its kinder a blere but if you can imagine me siting on a sofa pack of 20 crying […]
I can’t stop thinking about it. For hours now… It’s on my mind. I just want to be away from it all. I feel like I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m trying to make it through one day at a time. I can’t shake this thought. I’ve thought it all the way through. I am debating almost every day now. I know better, but I am so close. I have reached out for help and tried to help myself in every way that I can. Nothing is working. I really fell worse. Like I’m digging myself a hole.
I dont really know where to start with this… some peoples stories start off with them being abused or something but i can’t really pinpoint as to how i ever felt like this. I was bullied when i was 10 and up until secondary school for various things but i thought i had coped with all that. When i was 13 i first self harmed, and I’ve told my story so many times and it still sounds stupid every single time. I remember the very first time I hurt myself and my oh my it felt so good. I won’t go into details as to […]
I’m not quite sure of who I am.
sometimes I like to think that I am a perfectly fine teenager because isn’t the biggest symptom of madness denying you have a problem? if I admit to this I am probably not quite insane, am I?
but I’m too tired too tired to care too tired to live all I want is to fall into a deep slumber forever and ever…
its painful to wake up everyday dreading that you’re gonna live.
life has been deliriously tiring lately I don’t even know what I’m doing. sometimes I wish I could drag that blade across my wrist hard but no matter […]
I’ve had depression for 12 years now and when I was 20 I made a suicide pact with myself that if I wasn’t happy by 30 it was time to end it all.
Well my Bf dumped me last night and I don’t see the point anymore. I’ve got a year and a half till d-day but I don’t think I’ll make it to then. These past 10 years have been so hard the thought of another 50 like this make me feel sick!
I’ve tried suicide before but I was found, so this time will be different. I just want to make sure all my finances […]
Honestly I’m wishing I didn’t have a reason to be on here… but I do. Im a 20 year old college graduate, but I can’t get a job in my field to save my life…. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard. I work at a grocery store stocking shelves…. I didn’t go into debt for this. Not to mention these people make me question the ounce of sanity that I have left. I haven’t touched a blade to my skin in 9 months. That’s saying something. Of course I get my share of bruises and burns from work but its not the same. I […]
My girlfriend and I of over two years are going off to college this fall. She thought she was going to the same school as me until just a few weeks ago she decided to change for the better if her education. She going to a different state. We truly are in love and aren’t one of those bullshit high school relationships. I’m gonna miss her so much and she’s all il ever think about the entire time. Now I don’t even want to go to college. I just want to be with her. Any advice?
Admittedly, I find myself at a strange place now. Before I was so sure about wanting to kill myself. But now–after having thought about my motivations for not just dying, but living as well–I don’t know where I stand. There is still some motivation for wanting to die, that much I can say with certainty. In fact, that motivation is still unconditional just as it has been. However, I’m afraid that somewhere in my subconscious, that motivation stems from something superficial. So I find myself needing to know what that “something,” is and once I do, I can act full-heartedly and decide with a clear head, whether or not I should live.
I’m so close to […]
Hi guys how we all doing 🙂
learned something quite interesting and i thought i would share it with you all.
Prolonged exposure to suicidal thoughts & feelings creates a biochemical reaction in your brain that changes the very way you think, and we don’t even realise its happening. example if you were like me once filled with powerful empathy and heart shattering emotions but now feel quite distant and empty thats the reason. So make it quick and don’t turn into a zombie is probably the lesson here.
Mindblowing, but not literally unfortunately.
Bye 🙂
Hey I seriously am having a really really bad couple of days. My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for a little over a year and a half. We have been having problems and some people take my side and some take his, but I’m not really trying to figure any of that out. I am bringing it up only for yall to see where this is all coming from. My boyfriend was treating me like an object and when I would try to go somewhere one night when I was upset then he held me down on the bed and wouldn’t […]
Okay so here it goes…
So, I’m Angel and I absolutely hate my life..
My entire life, my parents would get into huge fights and let’s just say a lot of cops knew my name and where I lived. My older sister would always scream at me and punch me and just constantly make my life miserable, and even today (she’s 18 and has a baby) she continues to do just that. In fact it has probably gotten worse.
Even though I am the youngest, I am ANYTHING but spoiled. I have to clean the house everyday while my sister goes […]
You know when you’re struggling. When you flit between completely numb and vomit inducing crying & pain where you can’t get up off the floor. When you have no one. And in the darkness you try to reach out to someone. Open up just a little. Try to explain why you are what you are, why you feel what you feel and why you hurt the people around you even though you don’t mean to. And all you get back is they’re ‘disappointed’?
I never trust people and this has reminded me why. I can’t form any kind of relationship, even a simple friendship is beyond me. I […]