I believe life is all shit. whats the fucking point? i lie to everyone about my true thoughts and feelings. Its just one long dragged out battle within. I am the biggest hypocrite. I don’t want to live this. I truly just want to die.
Tag:
Thoughts And Feelings
i cant anymore theres no where to go and nothing to do. Ive messed up so much theres no reason to stay alive. I cant redo my past and take things away they will always be here to stay. Â I m hurting so badly i lost my lover over doing dumb impulsive immature things and yes i may be different but i lost something important to me thats all i care about is losing my special someone but ill never get them back nor do i deserve too. i wish i could redo my life from 5th grade up. Theres no way i will ever […]
When the alarm clock sets off first thing in the morning and you know you’ve got to face another day. What are your thoughts and feelings then?
For me it is horror, dread and confusion (confusion because when I’m dreaming I see myself in a healthy body, doing things in a better world, and feel that that place is real, until I wake up to reality). I often will shake or even convulse at waking up.
Hello, my depressive friends. So i want to sharehere my thoughts and feelings. If i feel a sadness, (last times i most felt that.) me like a more peopld listen sad music. And one of these song with beatiful metaphors and brutal melody – Suffokate – Distant Words. I hear that in my lost 2012 summer…era of my fears and tears.. so by the theme. If you understand my mind read the lyrics..i have many ttoubles, and i didnt see the true escape. If you want, i will tell you my horrors. Thanks
Loss on these city streets distant faces distant memories
A city built upon […]
I dont think I actually want to die. What I want is to pull up a website that will let me completely change myself. Change my personality, my body.
My boyfriend thinks I’m insane. He doesnt like for me to touch him. He thinks I have serious emotional issues. Tonight I threw my phone at him bc he hurt my feelings.
I feel like I have too many thoughts and feelings inside my head and I don’t know how to process them all. I can’t write or talk about them bc I can’t organise them in a way that makes any fuckin sense. When I […]
This is mental torture. My brain wont allow positive feelings and pleasures, it rejects them like foreign territory. It is not used to positivity so it doesnt know what to do with it. It teased me by making me feel confident and excided and content and motivated for a very short time then slaps me back in the face and replaces these good feelings with guilt anxiety paranoia saddness bordome and fear. It feeds these thoughts into my mind virtually automaticly , thoughts like “you are undeserving to feel content, get praise, . You are a bad person your doing it all wrong, you cant […]
Okay, well I have friends. I do. I hang out with them sometimes too. but why do i still feel so alone? I call them my bestfriends, which in most cases is true… but at the same time.. they know NOTHING about me. They know the crazy girl.. the one who likes to party, whose had sex, gotten high and gotten drunk.. But the true part of me that matters most.. they dont know exists.. The part of me that cries myself to sleep at night. The part of me that has scars, and cuts. The part of me who almost committed suicide and still […]
When you are lost, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. or even a tunnel at all. There is only darkness with absolutely nothing around you. You wander, but cannot see and eventually just stop and stay where you are. There are no paths, there is no hope. When you are lost, hope is a lie made of mere words.
And to be truly lost means to quit trying to be found. You are lost in nothingness and that is all there ever will be. A hole forms, where you burrow into it in the darkness. At least that way, you have walls […]
First time poster on here. Just giving it a go i guess.
First off; forgive any typo’s, my wireless keyboard is playing up and sometimes misses or adds letters. Sorry.
Jumping into it then; I’m just coming up 19, living at home with my mum though my parents are seperated. Up until my teens i had it very easy, dad was in a well paying stable job, home life was fine, nothing abusive or any other stereotypical bad background stuff, things were good. I’ve always been intelligent, school always came easily, and social interaction was second nature, leading me to bond mainly with people older than myself […]
First post here. Male, 20 years old,brazilian, never satisfied, always have something to complain about. I have a boyfriend (do I have to say I’m gay?) but can’t say I’m in love. Can’t say I’m not either. This is me, it seems I never have the appropriate feelings. I don’t get along well with my family, I only have virtual friends and can’t say things about how I really feel.
I’m in college, living alone, don’t have friends in my class. I just can’t communicate to people. Seriously, when my boyfriend isn’t in the city I’m living (he goes to college in another one) , I […]
I’ve decided upon a solution to my issues that I find works better than counseling.
A) Because counseling pisses me off.
B) Because I find that all of the 9 or 10 counsellors that I’ve seen in the past 5 years or so have tried to make me conform to what society deems normal or happy.
My solution? Â Trying to be as true to myself as possible. Â I know it doesn’t exactly sound like a solution, or it sounds like a cliche one, but it’s been working so far. Â For me, this means that if listening to ‘depressing’ music makes me feel a bit of peace or happiness, […]
I’m not sure how this works but I feel like venting. I’m 25 years old. People say I’m pretty but most of the time I can’t stand who I see in the mirror. I’ve been reading posts on this website over the last few days and I was surprised to see my thoughts and feelings expressed so accurately by random people all over. You know when people say oh everyone’s felt like  that, like that’s suppose to help but this actually is kind of comforting. Anyway back to venting. I had a car accident this mornin and physically I’m fine but in every other way I’m […]
i’ve dealt with complicated thoughts and feelings my entire life, all of them in their most extreme form. i daily go from being angry at everything else that exists, to quietly loathing myself in a corner. i had suicidal thoughts from the time i was very young, maybe as early as eight. i first really plotted to kill myself when i was sixteen. i even learned how to tie a perfect hangmans noose. i’m 20 now. and the thing is, that it really has nothing to do with my life. i don’t have any significant problems, hell, i even just got engaged to my girlfriend. but i hate […]
I sit here wishing that I was someone else. Perhaps a quiet person who didn’t have these tendencies – ruthless, narcisistic, destructive, tenacious thoughts and feelings that make up a large part of my being.. Maybe I would be “better” if I was just able to be myself. The more time that passes always seems to push reality into the forefront, and unfortunately I’m pretty sure that it’s all gray matter. Why do I need to take things so far? Why can’t I control myself? Why Why Why do I have to be this person plauged with an overwhelming sense of manotany and a brain that tells me […]
So im new to this site, but i need somewhere to vent some thoughts and feelings ive had for years. First I guess ill intriduce myself. Im a rock/metal guitar player. I feel this title best illustrates who I am. Guitar and rock/metal music are my only passion in life, it is what drives me forward and has kept me going so far. I love it. Anyway, playing guitar in a band is all I want to do with my life. However, I feel like that dream is moving out of reach more and more as time passes by. Its my parents. They are supportive […]
Rachel Ferguson- Never Good Enough
The story of me. I wrote this after my first hospital visit, it was going to be my suicide note but a close friend of mine found me before I died. He has an uncanny ability to call me whenever I’m seriously debating suicide even though he’s moved all the way across the world from me.
Born to the urban monster,
Raised to be mindless,
Her curiosity brought pain,
Tears of blood shed in silence.
Ostracized by her peers,
In the shadows she played.
Her “friends†cruel like the rest,
As she was bullied there came no aid.
Fragile, she often wept,
They laughed and pointed.
Ridiculed and mocked into […]
Well, the title says it all.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
They say that people who try to kill themselves are “selfish” and that they don’t think about the others they’ll leave behind.
But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling?
Of course they haven’t.
The feeling inside my head is starting to become physical.
It’s sort of like nasal congestion.
When you have it, you can’t breathe.
So you either try clearing your nose, or you breathe through your mouth.
But I have the SAME FUCKING FEELING INSIDE MY HEAD!
I’m literally unable to think, speak or feel anymore.
I haven’t really talked with […]
I’ll start out by saying I consider myself “addicted” to suicidal thoughts. The thoughts begun as early as elementary school and continued to thrive throughout my life. As I prepare to leave everyone I know and move a 1000 miles away to college, I can’t seem to commitment to moving forward or ending my life. I have made one serious attempt, one which had me hospitalized for 4 months, and that was just 1 out of my 11 hospitalizations. Life has been a long and hard journey for me. I have learned the hard way the cons of acting on these thoughts. I also know […]
Here I am. I’m told I’m great. Good looking. Smart. Kind. Talented. I do many things. Have loving parents. Have loving friends. Have people who care. Even with all of these things, I’m stuck. It’s like an endless circle. I’m sad and angry, then numb. I feel numb so much of the time…I…I’m not even sure what I feel anymore. I mistook my content with my gay friend’s compliments to me, as a love for him. I’m a straight male. I know this because I’ve tried to have relationships with other guys. It was never right…it never felt right. I never kissed a guy, because […]
I haven’t been on this site for a while, I don’t think many people paid attention to the few things I did write a while back, but if they did, thank you[:
I just reread the things I wrote, and I remember all the thoughts and feelings I had. I’m glad to say they are gone [:
I talked about my bestfriend once or twice in them. We went through this whole fighting and not talking thing for a little while there, now, he’s living with me, and we are dating 😀 I now know, he saved me. That one kid saved my whole life, and […]
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