What do you do when you’re ready to go, but don’t want to at the same time?
What do you do when everyone you’ve ever had love for, turns that love into the hate you have for then today?
What do you say when the person you want to love forever, doesn’t love you back?
What do you do when you want to love, but all you’ve felt was hate?
Contemplated suicide today
Yet nobody cared
Contemplated taking my life away
yet nobody cared
Even stepped forward and told someone
yet nobody cared
Even took a bath to see if anyone would get worried about me and come
yet nobody cared
So I sat in the water for about an hour
yet nobody cared
I prayed for forgiveness from the almighty power
yet nobody (on earth) cared
I got the strength to get up out of the bath
yet nobody cared
And stumble out to the living room in wrath
yet nobody cared
the only person who could check on me was asleep
he didn’t care
all I could do is sit there and weep
yet nobody cared
They wouldn’t have found me until in […]
I think about it all the fucking time. It would be easy to end the pain, suffering, and self hate that I feel daily. No more depression. No more cutting. Just ignorant bliss. I don’t know what will happen but I do know it would be better than the misery I live now. I can’t live with myself. I am “living” in a constant hell and it’s killing me; it’s actually slowly driving me insane. So the question is how will I do it? There are so many different options; hanging, suffocation, drowning, slitting my wrists, overdose, jumping, electrocution and so much more. I’ve written […]
you know how you try to say one thing, but mess up on saying it (or in my case, typing it) and the person who hears it (reads it) gets offended because of what you said? yeah, there now. I already feel bad enough that they took it the wrong way, now he’s calling me an “evil bitchass **** who enjoys his pain”. I don’t even enjoy MY pain. now I feel like shit, just when today wasn’t too bad
today is probably the worst day of my life. My girlfriend a few months back charged me with 6 different offenses, and that caused a lot of stress on me and one day I just got to the point I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to hang myself and just before I jumped I called her and she picked up as said she would come see me, and at no point did I think the cops would come because we’ll I trusted her, and she saved my life and after 4 mon this of that it was over but then she wanted to become […]
… I just can’t give those bastards the satisfaction.
In today’s life when one is thronged with worries and tensions all around, it is very difficult to maintain a positive attitude. And often the more you try and be positive, the more it seems the negative energy around you gains strength. So here are 7 ways to change our modus operandi, be positive and work towards a healthier lifestyle.
Do Not Wait for Happiness.
Do not wait for good things to happen to you. You need to work towards happiness. You need to create a happy environment around you today to remain happy tomorrow. This is called an attitude. If you adopt a positive attitude, […]
‘Ring’ ‘ring’ ‘ring’. I woke up at the sound of my alarm. ” oh gosh , it is still 6:30 am ” . I checked my phone I had no messages from my friends . “That’s weird , my friends used to talk to me everyday! ” I wondered to myself . I took a bath , brushed my teeth and prepared some delicious pancakes with my coffee .
As I was enjoying my sweet breakfast and listening to the sound of the birds , my friend vikki called . […]
So for awhile now I’ve been trying to hold on, and I know what I need to do is call a suicide hotline, but today right after school I caught myself looking at pill bottles, freaking pill bottles to see if  a side effect was death.
I just don’t know anymore.
Their is this one girl who I like, and she likes me, and we tell everything to each other. She knows about my depression, self harm and suicide attempt and thoughts, but I don’t think I can ever tell her about today.
Feels like the only place I can freely talk about this stuff […]
It gives you an opportunity to overcome a challenge that will only make you stronger if you allow it to.
It teaches you that it’s impossible to please everybody in this world.
It allows you to realize what others feel when they get rejected.
I got attacked with lots of rejection today but……I’m proud to say that it did not attack my happiness……Today was a great day.
“Don’t let rejection steal your happiness”
As of today I am 70 days clean of self harm. Its been really hard for me. But these past few days its been the hardest, especially today. I thought I was done with that part of my life . But then again that’s what I said last time.
I just found it today. I don’t know you have read it or not yet… hope you enjoy it
Here is the full article:Â http://shakeoffthegrind.com/emotional-health/free-yourself-by-letting-go-of-what-you-cant-control
have a nice day!
So i’ve started hurting myself again in my sneaky way
all pain
no lasting scars
But now it doesn’t seem like enough and I don’t know what to do
I want my emotions to go away so i don’t do anything drastic, but ugh it’s just so confusing
So i guess that was the rant  for today
maybe I can’t, maybe I don’t want to, but the cutting isn’t going to stop this time. not after today
Due to an odd glitch, I apparently posted that I had to put Violet down. No idea how my computer changed “Violet’s  ok” to “I put violet down today”. Technology doesn’t like me.
alright, I’m not ok, but what the hell is “ok”?
This is what I was told today:
Calculus isn’t even difficult, but fuck that. It’s gonna get harder, and…you should switch your major. There’s physics, (which requires Calculus II), and statistics, and linear algebra, and you suck at math. And algorithms and data structures are math classes; and so is foundations of computer science.
Yep, great way to live life. If it’s hard, fuck it. Every rational person does that.
People suck. Way to be supportive.
Hey guys! So for a YouTube on my channel, I thought I’d answer some questions. So comment some, please!
A daily reminder:
I love you. You are a strong person and remember that sometimes being strong isn’t always good, because if your constantly strong you’ll eventually feel weak.
I promise you it’ll all be okay.
Maybe not today. Or tomorrow. Or next month. You just gotta be patient, okay?
Just do what you like! Go on an adventure. Climb a tree. Make a new friend. Go to the park and be a little kid again. Make something. Call a random number and ask how they’re doing today. Write a […]
Getting better is a long journey. I woke up and the first thing I told myself is that I wouldn’t die today. I decided to set daily goals. Small things, baby steps.
I’m scared, I feel like if anyone got close they could actually smell the sadness emanating from my pores. I’m anxious and insecure. But I will fight this. I will not let my emotions take control over me.
I went for my weekly doctor’s yesterday as I mentioned in my previous post  http://suicideproject.org/2014/02/anywhere-but-not-there/. She was very weary of letting me stay home as I had put myself in a […]
today was shit, my seventh period geometry teacher is out to fucking get me. she makes me get in front of a class of 30 dumb ass ignorant teens everyday and make me do the problems and explain them as if im the teacher. i dont mind it too much but of course the kids are relentless and will make any joke they can and the fucking teacher, guess what she does? nothing! she lets them make fun of me on a every day basis. embarrassing is a understatement. but today my voice was shakey (idk the cause but i hadnt gotten any sleep last […]
I have an appointment this afternoon with my therapist. Â Do I tell him that my suicidal thoughts are beginning to reoccur with greater frequency? Â For so long since I was hospitalized last year, I’ve been free of thoughts of killing myself.
I don’t want to go back into the hospital or into a residential mental health facility because I’ve admitted my depression is growing. Â I also don’t want to disappoint my family by relapsing.
This weekend my wife, my oldest daughter, and I visited my youngest daughter who’s away at college. Â I was very irritable, probably more so than at any time since I was treated. Irritability […]
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