That moment when u don’t know if what you want today is what you actually want or what todays brain chemistry is telling you that’s what you want and if tommorrows brain chemistry will tell you the same thing or the exact opposite, in such a case do you take half if it or sack up and drink beer untill everything becomes not thing more than something to piss against, prehoas dogs have the right idea. They sniff something to see if its interesting then they piss on it and keep going.. Perhaps that’s where humanity has gone wrong
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today
I went tanning today and purposely burnt myself… It feels so good to be in so much pain but I have a cheer competition tomorrow and I’m going to look stupid.
I learned today that NFL cheerleaders only earn about $70-90 per game, “elite” ones earn more. They only make $1000 to $2,500 per season, more if they make public appearances. That really surprised me. I guess it’s like being a cop or a firefighter or a teacher. You do it because you like it, not because you want to get rich.
Hi there, fellow SP’ers!
We all woke up today, started a new day, and have been breathing up to this very moment, that you’re (hopefully) reading this. Keep it that way. I’ll try to.
I’m new here, had thought of joining the blog for some time now, after reading post after post and seeing how everyone supports and helps each other on here, and today I finally joined. So, you there reading this, just accept my gratitude for you being a part of this, because every person that has felt the way I do knows how to appreciate how big this is.
I’ll try to keep writing regularly. […]
Hi Guys,
Yes I posted yesterday…. It was a bit earlier than normal… Sorry.
So today. Today was an sdjkjsskfjk day. Nothing really exciting happened… Well I guess I shouldn’t say that. A new semester began today at school. Which means a new schedule. Which means new seats. And new teachers. Well of course in one class guess who I get to sit by for a whole semester (about 90 days) MY BULLY. Wooo…. Not. So that’s that. On the bright side I moved to my honors English class :D.
So yeah. How am I doing? Emotionally: Unstable. Physically: In Pain.
I don’t know how long I […]
Hey. I’m back again, and so soon. I don’t know…I’m just getting worse. She doesn’t even care about me anymore…I want to tell her that I want to kill myself, but I’m not sure she will care. I’m laying in bed right now. I didn’t go to school today because of a neck injury. It’s common sense that I’m not going to tell anyone this in real life, but the injury is because I tried to strangle myself. I figured it wouldn’t work, but I suppose it was just trying to relieve some of my frustration. But the injury kept me home from school today, […]
well, we hugged for the first time on Thursday, then again on Friday but we didn’t hug today
Sorry I stole this from another post and just thought it was cute
Hi everyone, so today was the weirdest day in English. My class and I are reading Fahrenheit 451Â Â and we got to a part where Guy Montag’s wife Mlidred overdosed on sleeping pills. So, of course my teacher had us stop there and she started talking about the book’s society. Then she got into suicide. As she was talking about overdosing and what it does to you, I tried to stop listening to her because I been wanting to OD for a while now. Eventually, I heard the word “cut” from my teacher’s mouth and I wanted to start breaking down crying. Suicide really affects me, […]
One day I know I will die because of suicide. It may not be today, or next year, or ten years from now, but I am certain that my life will end one day because I end it myself.
There’s something cold and blank behind her smile
She’s standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile
“You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away”
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won’t save her from herself
Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
Even though the sun shines bright today, even though life truly is wonderful this day, at this moment, I can never forget the life of suffering ahead of me and I can never forget the suffering that brought me here, because the moment I do, all my efforts and my desire to end my own life will have been nothing but shallow delusions, things just felt in the moment and not profound at all. No matter what, I will hold on this feeling. Never to let go.
The Thirt Word was “Hum,”
Caught by straining ears
As I softly release
Your trembling arms…
So I took my sleeping pill in the early hours of the morning, and it kept me in peace until 8am. I woke up, drowsy. I think I drifted off again.. til 10am. But when I woke up then, I felt weird.
I felt lost, today. I feel empty, there so much pain and thoughts going on in my head but.. I can’t make them come out. I can’t cry today, I can’t feel. I feel disconnected from the world, like I’m not a part of it.
Even punching things, or cutting, didn’t make me cry or have them come out. I didn’t even feel the pain.
Today, […]
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