I am 30 female. I having hypertension because of too much stress… always want to cry I need love from my husband but he is changed now before marriage he is totally different he care for me never wants to me to cry but he is the reason for my stress. he didnt like my parents I am living in Australia. he wants that his parents live with us I have no problem but nowdays I need my mother I have small baby but he said that he never wants to my mother come there what should I doand he never wants that I goto […]
Tag:
too much
Today has been… well, a day, I guess for lack of a better word. Still struggling to get things figured out.
I’ve made two attempts this year, life is just getting to be too much for me.
It seems like an endless cycle, bouncing from shit job to shit job, never progressing anywhere in life. I’m pushing 30 and I’ve never been in anything resembling a stable relationships, just a long list of failed attempts and missed opportunities. Plenty of people that “Just want to be friends” though. Friends who never call or ask how I am, and who probably wouldn’t notice if I offed myself. Or […]
Everything hurts I want to die I don’t know what to do. I have a mood disorder and there is no cure and god I don’t want to live like this. Treat the symptoms, manage your emotions, improve your quality of life! But there’s nothing that can cure it.
I can’t eat either get it past my lips or I throw it up. I either sleep too much or can’t sleep at all. I haven’t left the house in days and I can’t talk to my family anymore.
Right now I can hear my dad down the hall calling all these therapists to help me. He’s started […]
Finally…I quit my job. The main source of my depression and misery. Now I will focus on school, my daughter, and strengthening my relationship with my fiancée. Hopefully things get better. I hope he doesn’t feel burdened too much by this…
I find it so difficult to exist, to be.
Am I the only one that feels existence is horrible? That to exist is too much. That the possibility of being trapped in eternity existing is so overwhelming that I can’t breath.
I can’t run away from existence, I am even petrified that when I kill myself I will still be trapped in existence. One is so powerless and out of control. Just trapped for all eternity if eternity exists. Unable to get away from being. Unable to not be. I wish it could all stop. I can stop. Just an end. Nothing more, nothing less. Just stop
I’m just a typical girl who wants to be loved by a family because I never have a chance to feel that on my own family. I’ve tried too much times to killed myself but still I’m alive. Still not happy and still nobody cares about my existance. You don’t need to have a broken family to feel like incomplete your whole life I, myself was as example of it. I might have both parents but they don’t care for me a little bit. I need to work on my own to have the things that I needed. How I wished to have some parents […]
I’ll be fine, less down. going about my day, and WHAM, a sense of despair, of sadness, of desperation strong enough to metaphorically (and sometimes literally) drop me to the ground will slam into me. Just out of nowhere, the pain is so much, too much. I don’t want this anymore. Please, make it stop. If there’s a higher power, if there’s a dash of kindness in the universe, make it stop. Make me stop. Let me die. I can’t handle this. I don’t want to feel this anymore. There isn’t anywhere for me on this […]
I’ve been thinking about how many of the things that have gone wrong in my life happened because I tend to feel that other people are closer than they feel. Sometimes it’s not even that I act more friendly than I should, I end doing the opposite, I have troubles letting people enter in my life because I’m so scared that I’ll become so close…
I think that I love too much. Or too quickly, or strongly, I don’t know. Anyone in my case?
Ps: I don’t know if I explained myself clearly, I find difficult to explain this things in English…
I love my family although sometimes I get sad and believe life for them would be better off without me.
There has been more than one occasion of me trying to end my life. When I was 10 I almost ended my life due to my parents’ fucked up expectations. Mostly I didn’t do to me being too much of a scared baby. Almost 3-4 times per week sometimes I think about either running away or commiting suicide. My grades are fucked up. Every week I get yelled at by my parents basically saying I’m not good enough for anything. I have no friends in a […]
If you’re a Brit’ like me you’ve probably heard about an overhaul the NHS are planning, if not then I’ll explain.
The national health service are known for being lacking in the treatment of children and young adults with mental health problems in Britain, and as part of a new move there will be a comprehensive overhaul of all the services they provide.
I can’t help but feel this is all too little, too late for some many young people. I’ve suffered for years and found the treatment excellent. What little of it I got, that is. My mum is treated for her anxiety and she saw […]
I have a handle of vodka, antidepressants, and a razor.
I haven’t properly slept in a little over a week. I’ve probably slept about 4 hours the most.
When I do sleep, I get these nightmares of the same thing. When i’m awake, I see the creature everywhere I go. The voices in my head won’t shut up.
I just want to be free. Is that too much to ask? I feel like a zombie half time. Sleep is my enemy. My mind is hazardous.
I’m tired of crying, i’m tired of sleepless nights, i’m tired of being being tired. I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore.
With a younger close friend. In some pain and alone. Trying to pry myself off the couch – I ve been here before. She’s with someone else I didn’t even know how much she counted until she told me about her new friend. I’m being obsessive and I don’t want to let her go but I don’t want to creep her out either ( maybe too late). I’ve thought of giving up – I’m like scary needy. I know I’m putting way too much on her for my well being but you who have been in this hell know how effective logic is. It’s been […]
I’m getting to the top, I can’t resist too much, I hate being alive, I have so many fucking problems, I’m close to turn 21 and I think I have not lived what I wanted to live by this age, My health has never been worse, I think I’m getting into a very serious eating disorder, I’m starting to harm myself again, I’m starting to hate myself even more and hate everything around me, I feel fed up, tired, sad, and so fucking weak all the time. I try to communicate with my family, but I barely see them and that makes everything even harder, […]
I really feel somewhat desperate to kill myself right now… but I know I won’t… Often times I think about hanging myself or electrocution. I never follow through though. Sometimes I want to be alone yet I crave to be understood and not be so god damn alone…. Idk I do have some friends but I have the most trouble reaching out to people. I honestly believe they wouldnt understand what I’m going through or what I’ve gone through……… I just hope I can keep going and living…. I’ve come to several conclusions to help myself but I never tried them. 1) help someone else […]
I guess my story can’t exactly be seen as a “suicide story”…
For a few years now I’ve been looking forward without any reason to do so. Call it survival, or monotony I don’t really know. The fact is, passion for something can only take you so far and that’s the one thing that keeps popping up in my mind.
Why do it? Why not stop? Honestly I don’t like being alive, feels more like some form of torture, I didn’t ask to be alive nor did I wanted to… Maybe I thought it was a competition so I cheated the leading sperm into second […]
I want to die. At least I think it’s what I want. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be nonexistent. If what I have been living these past 30 some odd years can be classified as life then I want just the opposite. Death sounds so dark, so evil, yet the thought of it feels so peaceful. Ah Peace, I don’t even remember the last time I felt your embrace. I’m so tired of fighting to hold on; so tired of struggling each and every day to not give up. I have no fight left. It is long gone and I […]
I’m so sorry mom, I betrayed you numerous times. But this time, I am deeply sorry. Besides all the medicine, I really don’t know why I’m so fucked up .. I lied about that vape pen . It is mine . I lied about the wine. I did drink it all . Do I regret it ? YES . Would I take it all back ? YES . Sometimes I think of why I’m still living . You yell at me and tell me to pack my things and move to my dads . Well you know I wont . You know I hate my […]
I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I hate being here. I hate suffering. I’ve failed my parents. I’ve failed as a student. I’ve even failed as a speech captain. I thought I could do it. I was stupid. Stupid for thinking I could ever be anything more than a piece of shit daughter. My parents found out about my self harm and suicidal thoughts. They told me that I’m just an attention seeker and that, that isn’t the way to get attention in this house. So I switched kinda… I didn’t realize it at first but a few days ago I […]
I have no friends. I have a fiance, who doesn’t understand depression. Who I cant really talk to. I wouldn’t want to tell him how bad I feel. Nobody really wants to hear our sad sob stories. You have to get it out though.
My whole damn life, like everyone else I guess, I have always thought, I don’t need to worry about doing blahblah, idk, drugs, too much sun, my credit. We’re all supposed to die before the repercussions of our poor decisions happen. Well I’m living proof, they are coming. I didn’t die at 18, 21, 25, 30. The brain damage from drinking, or […]
I don’t get why my body goes from shaking anxiety to staring off into the distance depression. Just the other day I was shaking and couldn’t put one thought with another. Now I’m sitting here staring thinking too much about everything.