I love my family although sometimes I get sad and believe life for them would be better off without me.
There has been more than one occasion of me trying to end my life. When I was 10 I almost ended my life due to my parents’ fucked up expectations. Mostly I didn’t do to me being too much of a scared baby. Almost 3-4 times per week sometimes I think about either running away or commiting suicide. My grades are fucked up. Every week I get yelled at by my parents basically saying I’m not good enough for anything. I have no friends in a community I just moved into. And now I’m pouring out all the things I have been meaning to say to my parents for the past year but are too scared to say to their faces, on a website.
4 comments
Im wondering how old you are now…. if I were to guess I would say no more than 15? I could be way off but that’s just what I get out of what you have posted here. I would like to tell you that everything is gonna get better but there is no way to promise you that. It could get worse. I would like to offer a suggestion just because it sometimes helps me when I am thinking that it’s time to throw the towel in or to just sit back and see what happens instead of fighting the good fight. Instead of seeing just how miserable things are for you right now, think about how much worse it could be. Think about how much harder life would be if you were growing up without your parents for some reason or another, or if you were living with a sibling that was fately ill and you had no life at all because of the care that your parents had to give that sibling. Or think about how horrible it would be for you if you had to grow up in a tribe in Africa where some of the most horrific things happen to the people there. Im not saying be oh so glad and rejoice for what you have, I cant always do that myself, im just saying think about what you have to deal with now and how different things could be. Then maybe make a promise to yourself to better the world in that area or to make a better life for someone that does have to live that life or deal with those issues when you become old enough to do so.
I hope this has helped some and that you find a better place to be emotionally that you are in now. :-}~
I do have a sibling who was fatally ill when he/she was younger. I know what I am talking about. This is not a suicide note. I know how much anguish it would cause my parents. I have thought this over many times
And yes I am no more than 15
J_D,
I am no more than 15! GREAT! 3 YEARS TO GO! you can do that! it’s almost over! just remember you have to make a living so at least graduate, lot’s of famous and rich people weren’t honor role students, common sense and vision , will get you by, I know a lot of people that are more intelligent than myself but can’t make it because! they have no common sense.