“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window […]
Tag:
trapped
I’m in one of those moods where you don’t want to do anything but you want to try to be happy but nothing’s working.
Tonight. Tonight of all nights I feel it. It haunts me. The presence. My trachea’s shadow. My personal emotional python of darkness asphyxiating my throat chakra with deep blue sorrow. I’ve felt it my whole life. Hence eternal. But on day seems like eternity trapped in this anatomical sarcophagus. Living, breathing; I don’t know what that’s like. The deeper it gets the less control I have over any of it. Scared doesn’t cut it but then again, terrified doesn’t slice it either.
Like a furball of the most vile, putrid emotion all encased, locked and trapped in my throat. Unable to express so it depresses […]
Today is my birthday. Instead of feelings of joy, happiness, excitement for what this day is besides my birthday, I feel empty. I no longer know how to run my life. If I ever knew. I feel trapped in it. Trapped in who I am, what I am, where I am in this existence. I do not know how life works. I see everyone around me with all the things I wish I could have. It seems tangible, but so very far from my grasp. Supportive family, friends, significant others and love in their life.
No matter how hard I strive for things most people have. […]
How I felt before
I see vivid colors of mossy greens and scarlet. Mysterious and wonderful lands. Flying through clouds, Purple jungles, diving into white water. Yellow wind. Beautiful people who laugh.
Then I wake.
I wake,and everything goes static. Its all gray. And I can’t breathe. Or think. I want to close my eyes and sleep and drift away into calm dream. Return to the clouds. The purple jungle. just lay in my bed and pull the white covers over my head and forget there ever was a place outside of my mind.
But I’m trapped.
I’m poisoned.
I’m drowning.
I’m drowning.
I’m drowning.
it is […]
My parents have always been super harsh on me, always yelling whenever I do just one thing wrong or forget to do another. They wonder why I never do anything when I have a mile long list of chores. (which they promptly tell me isn’t bad at all and that I need to quit my complaining. 10 chores compared to the one thing that each of them does? Hm. I don’t know, but that seems pretty bad to me.)
One night, it was really bad. It was Sunday, actually. We had just seen a movie together and it was almost dinner time. Now, my dad knows that I […]
I’m so spiritually confused. I’m trapped with no car, and hardly any money. I impulsively spend the small amount of money I have in my bank account. I am just, trapped. Exhausted. I’ve lost all creativity. All my passion has been drained. I constantly feel as if I’m being watched, judged. Always aware of my thoughts. Drained. No eye contact. No smile. Violent thoughts. I’m so sick. I need my God again.
Hello fellow humanoids,
I am new here, this is my first post, feedback is appreciated.
Recently while delving into the depths of internet suicide material, I came accross a few mentions of how suicide is a very selfish way to die. This rather annoyed me as, on the contrary, I find it a very unselfish, noble way to die. Surely one has a right to be selfish with ones own life? Surely it is those who preach this that are being selfish? They ask us to remain trapped in these useless lives, suffering everyday, just so they dont have to deal with our deaths.
I […]
Losing my mind with this solitary life. People say they care. If they cared then where the fuck are they? I’ve been abandoned by everyone I called a friend. Another day trapped in this world. Another day of dreaming for an exit.
I just don’t know how things got this way. Everything is so fucked up.
I find it so difficult to exist, to be.
Am I the only one that feels existence is horrible? That to exist is too much. That the possibility of being trapped in eternity existing is so overwhelming that I can’t breath.
I can’t run away from existence, I am even petrified that when I kill myself I will still be trapped in existence. One is so powerless and out of control. Just trapped for all eternity if eternity exists. Unable to get away from being. Unable to not be. I wish it could all stop. I can stop. Just an end. Nothing more, nothing less. Just stop
Slit open my cheerful eyeballs and let the hidden pain ooze out
by Skeleton100
written by Skeleton100
Title says all. They don’t know what’s behind my blue eyes. They don’t know the troubled angry boy trapped inside this gross bleeding body
Bye
I’m posting this to help anyone here that reads it. I’ve been taking a folic acid supplement along with a zinc supplement and it’s really helped. Folic acid helps in the production of neurotransmitters which I’m sure anyone who’s on here knows that these are the chemicals in your brain that regulate mood. I hope that I have helped at least 1 person on this board.
Now, all that being said, I still believe that the feeling of mental stability that most “normal” people feel is merely meant to placate them and further the idea that this world is real. As I get older I suspect […]
Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]
Am I the only that get trapped by hope, thinking that, soon, all’s gonna be ok and then realize that it’s not, that it’s just gonna be worse? I wish I had the balls to end my life and leave far away from this hell. But I’m staying, I’m thinking that it’s worth waiting and then, I’m suffering more, I take a razor and put it in my flesh. As I watch the blood out of my skin with colds eyes, I’m wondering when do will I commit suicide. Right now, I want it but I can’t. Hope is what making me stay but it’s […]
the only thing preventing me from killing myself right now is the fear of hell. i have untreatable, severe chronic pain and i want to die asap, but this stupid unshakeable fear is holding me back. please help me…how do i get over this fear so i can free myself already? i can’t take it anymore, i feel so trapped…
I’m still trying to hang on to my life. I’m exhausted by bad ptsd symptoms. I want to move away from my abuser and feel trapped on disability. My brain is so tired and I hear voices at night. My internet and phone on the same day went out and it was hell. By the grace of God thank you Jesus the internet is bad on, and I still have to find another phone carrier b/c Verizon was not helpful in getting me an upgrade. Stupid story. I am terrified of the new neighbor coming in and I am missing my priest who left and […]
I feel trapped. Inside of my own skin. My own body. The house is dark, gloomy, boring, I don’t know what to do. Everything is boring.
Honestly I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Life just keeps pushing me and shoving me and once I get knocked down I don’t have the strength to get back up. I hate when people try to help with their fake support. If they cared then why would they be the ones knocking me down? I hate the world. I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to stop feeling trapped, so trapped that I can’t physically breathe. It’s getting so hard to breathe.
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom it’s invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill himself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just […]
Dear whoever,
Is there even anybody who reads this? Or maybe we’re all just self indulgent in our misery :/
Anyway here I am, this is new. I feel silly. My boyfriend abuses me. Mostly emotionally but sometimes physically. It’s not stopping.
Tbh I must be really unlucky or been a dictator in my past life. I was adopted because my parents were too young and too high on some kind of drug, I don’t know which they never told me. Unfortunately my adopted parents weren’t…great? Well my mum mainly, but I blame my dad more because he knew she was hurting me but ignored it.
So I guess […]