Me and my boyfriend *gasp* i know, i know why is this little ***** complaining about how life hates her, when she has a boyfriend that loves her?
1. I Feel numb, but he gives me some feeling back
2. He makes me smile and laugh, but I’m still not happy
3. He holds me when I’m crying, but I’m always crying
but the sad truth is my internet friends is that I don’t love him; I don’t even know if i like him. I mean he is the nicest guy you could meet, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know how I feel […]
Tag:
true
Everyday my heart breaks more.
The pieces are soon to be shattered.
It’s painful yes.
Do I tell anyone, no.
I’m better off dead.
I’m not anything special.
Just a lost person.
That won’t be finding their way around life.
Pain is getting too much.
I don’t know how to release it anymore.
Don’t know how to cope.
I don’t feel anything but pain.
Pain and heartbreak.
So heartbroken.
That no one truly loves me.
Family hates me.
Hates my style.
Hates my music.
Hates it.
Friends.
Don’t know the true me.
If they did they’d hate me too.
All I ever asked for was […]
So I have a friend who is in all honors classes and she acts all preppy and nice and innocent but when she gets around me she acts her true self (cursing, talking shit, laughing, making jokes you know the normal stuff us teens do). So we were in school in the hallway and she cursed and one of her teachers walked by , so she ran around the corner hiding to make surehe didnt know it was her. As she was running she told me not to say her name outloud because she didnt want her teacher knowing it was her who cursed and […]
I wish I had someone who cared
I wish I had someone who would wipe away my troubled tears.
I want someone to keep me up high,
even when I just want to die.
Everyone has that person they need,
of course everyone except for me.
I yearn for the love of truth,
the person who was destined for me ever since birth.
Stay strong, he’ll say at the end of every goodbye,
but the joke’s on him, because he’s the reason I’m still alive.
I wish I could have the one, who will love me for me,
and not care for scars.
I wish […]
Everyone else going out with their group of friends. I’m not, because I don’t have any true friend. I’m twenty, and in college, i met two friends, but one was a backstabber, so we’re not friends with each other anymore, so left one friend, but this one friend who stay with me till now, she never made any effort to go out or hang out with me, and it’s been 3 years, so i feel highly that there’s something wrong in this friendship. If she considered me as her friend, not just in college, then why can’t she asked me? because every time i did […]
I feel like I am The Only One. The only one that is Truly Alone. I know that is not true… But somehow all my searches for somebody with life circumstances like mine only further validate that I Am Alone And No One Understands. Oh and by the way I am Not A Teenager. I wasn’t a particularly angsty teenager. If I had been one, perhaps I would have been ok now. If I had realized earlier that I might have social anxiety and/or be a HSP (whatever the difference is, I only learned about HSP yesterday) maybe I could have solved this sooner.
I just […]
The moments when I sit at home alone, and everyone I know is busy. That’s when I finally realize how alone I truly am and it Makes me sad. To know that I have no real true friends nor family that care even just a little. No one ever notices, i feel like I’m not allowed to cry to be weak. But today I feel alone and everything that I push away comes up to the surface and I feel the pain, the emptiness.
You’d suspect temptation to be caused by lust or just plain carnal instincts. In my case my cousin was the lustful desires I had. Yet the true temptation at the moment pegs from Nycolle the first girl I fell for. (Read my earliest posts for my deranged and mentally inadequate child in me) Â Onto the point at hand, I recently created a new facebook, found her on it after finding she blocked me. I found her on snapchat as well and here is where I consider things. Should I really risk messaging her again. It’s been over 5 years, why bother my childhood love? […]
I cannot stand to be a part of this.
Funny how the idea of attaining a single, semi-lasting lover-Â of true feeling- would immediately curb the romantic fantasy that I’ve of death.
I plan to hang from a tree in late May.
It’s too quiet in here.
I can hear myself cry, and hiss out words that usually come as mumbles.
It was once a place of serenity.
It was once the place of my joy,
but now I find it only to contain an inescapable hell.
It’s a place filled with shadows,
and a place filled with comfort.
My temple and my asylum,
my punishment and my reward.
This place smells of candles overcome with the misuse of lysol in a can.
I […]
So I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for pretty much my entire life.
I really see no joy in most things. I feel like I’ve mostly lived my life for other people, I can’t really recall feeling genuinely happy since I was young. It feels like my life has just sort of been a series of unfortunate events; which would be enough, but I just don’t seem to have the ability to deal with it.
Everyone I’ve grown up with has distanced themselves from me and ignores me now. When I try to make new friends people pretty much do the same. I push myself so […]
I want this pain to go away
All I do is feel terrible everyday
Nobody likes me, I know this is true
Everyone hates me, there is not doubt within
I feel as though I’m ready now
To go away
…..for good
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I believe that is true but life gets so hard and out of control sometimes that for most of us we feel it is the only way out. It think that life is a gift that people misuse. Think about every person that has ever done you wrong, hurt you, and driven you to the point where you just want out…. Now forgive them. Sounds hard right? I’m telling you to forgive the person that has mistreated you, beat you, or made you feel worthless. if you forgive them you will have this peace of mind […]
I want to be more than what people think I’m going to become. I want exceed expectations. But who am I perspiring to be? Something more than what I am. Something meaningful, and careful yet carless enough to bring more than a strict happiness to those who may surround me. I want and hope for so many things that I’ve lost track of what that track is. And to be honest? I can’t because I am incapable of separating the two at this very moment. The truth and lies that is. Self pitty and feeling sorry for yourself is a terrible habit one can subject […]
I just met someone a couple days ago and already they talking to me about their problems. Second person in a months’ time. I must give off some kind of aura or something that people feel comfortable opening up to me soon after meeting me. It’s true, I’m trustworthy, I actually listen, I actually give a damn, and I won’t judge. Probably cause I deal with my own issues every day. I don’t know.
So why can’t I help myself? Am helping others to somehow try to help myself? Am I hoping than once I’ve helped them, they will turn around and help me? Ah, but […]
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
I do it because I have so much mental pain, I need to find a way to make it physical and get it out. So I abuse my body. I used to think I’d just do a few cuts here and there when I felt really bad, but now I do it almost every day, anywhere from10-200 at a time. It has taken over my life. I feel weird typing it; like, part of me is saying “no it hasn’t, you still have a life” but another part is saying “you’ve finally admitted to it”. I don’t know. I know this sounds stupid, but there’s […]
As I contemplate this thing called life I can’t help but get Sad, Furious, and frustrated. Why would anyone put me on this planet let alone birth me. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE does anyone understand. Cause if you do thats great. I’m pissed off and unstable with emotion right now so I put into my writing. I don’t want anyone knowing my secret. Although plenty do so why not just say it, the world knows anyways. Everyone knows everything because that’s how it is.
This world is not hell. hell is something we walk around with all our lives. It’s basically in my back […]
continuing from Story of my life.. part 2
It was Christmas eve, everything was great. Until Nick came up to me and told me he couldn’t be with me any longer. He told me he had fallen out of love. That was it. He walked away. I didn’t know what to do. At first I was doubting it even happened. It was probably another daydream of some sort. But it was true. He left me standing in a hallway, never looked back. I was told to just move on. Time will heal. In a few weeks you’ll be just fine. There’s lots of fish in the […]
#1 god : I became an atheist with 17, studying science and phylosophy a lot, if I could travel in time I’d like to have understood the universe before, but I was so stupid and busy.
#2 love : All I see is divorce, splits, and people betraying.It’s the real thing, true love is a fairy tale thing.
#3 happy endings : At least not for me.