Last night, I had a bittersweet dream…….. I wasn’t depressed and I was with my friends and family and we were having a good time. I cant remember all the details just little bits and pieces. I remember me and my old best friend were  at the beach with two girls laughing, having fun, happy, smiling, and enjoying the time. when I awoke this morning and realized I was still here and that I had been dreaming it felt like I had been punched in the heart. To come back to reality and realize none of those things happened is devastating. I wish I could […]
Tag:
Two Girls
for the past months ive felt so muhc better but now i feel so low again, i’ve told the two girls i love with all my heart everything that i did in my past… all the thigns i believe and i’m sooo scared of what they might think i want to do i dont want to hear what they think ebcause i admited to not being hounest to either of them and if they hate me my life is over… i dont know what to do…. i wanna die…
The majority of the posts that I have read are from people in High School. I get it high school is rough. Other students are mean. And you feel Your teachers, parents and family don’t understand you. I was there too at one point in my life. I am hoping that by sharing my story I can give others hope for a better out-look on life. Now before I continue with my story I need to say that I have thought about killing myself, I thought about pain less ways and painful ways. I also thought of ways to make it seem like an accident. But […]
Who am I? I was born November 22nd, 1997. My parents?.. Ha, no. I didn’t have any. They abandoned me in a apartment all the time so they could go buy drugs! Why? I don’t know. Both of them had been in and out of jail multiple times. One day, while they were off getting drugs, I was at the apartment and neighbors heard me crying. They called the police… The police knocked on the door. No answer. They kicked down the door. I was taken away. I remember being in a cop car starring out the windows while it moved. I had no idea […]
“Where you gonna be tomorrow? How’re you gonna face the sorrow? Where are you gonna be when you die?” -Tomorrow, Nikki Sixx
I was letting music play while I cut and this song came on. I know the song by heart, as well as the other songs on the album. Nikki Sixx is my hero. He’s helped me see that I’m beautiful, scars and all. I feel strong, even though I’ve been cutting. I fell to the ground and slammed my head on the floor. There’s a huge bump and bruise, but that’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have been standing and cutting at the same […]
These two girls started trying to have a conversation with me today. They were asking me why I was always so depressed and what they could do to help. They were being very nice. I guess they figured I wasn’t a bad guy? Who knows. Anyway…
One of the girls started talking about how she was depressed about 3 or 4Â years ago (which meant she was about 13) because she had moved from her home town to where she is now. She was talking about how she missed her friends and now she could only talk on the phone with them or communicate through the internet. […]
Who am I fooling?
This week has been messed up. No exams for most of it been at school to forget the stress at home. Playing with my friend and we just started kissing….and intense. AM I THAT MESSED UP? Now we are together but i know it will not last…..she will abandon me like everyone else. She makes me smile (havent done that in months) but two girls together in a catholic school….I HAVE GONE MAD it cant work!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I’ve been gone for a while now haven’t I? I’ve been through hell and back and I haven’t found what I’ve been trying to look for. . .
As the people who read my other posts may know, I was with a guy who I loved with all my heart and I gave up almost everything for him. He ended up cheating on me and using me for sex. . . And I still love him alot. But no where near enough to go through that again. The day after he was caught cheating and shit, I posted it to The Suicide Project. I never really […]
Well…..I never thought I would ever think of suicide. As a child I always feared my little brother would suicide because he had anxiety problems and was bullied. He barfed every single day before school when he was in grade 1, but his therapist helped him and now he’s a popular 16 year old with an on again off again suicidal girlfriend (is that irony? I don’t know). But back to me because I am so selfish, I have loving parents and family as well as supportive loving friends. I have no right to depressed like this when there are so many other people in […]
So I have like these 2 groups of so called friends at my university. im a sophmore and i have a long way to finishing school. and one group consists of two girls, and the other one of like ten people mostlyt guys, whom last year ive been friends with em . but now like thigns changed beacuase of me and basically they hate me casue im with the other chicks.. and its my fault. and on the other hand im too deppressed with some personal and family issues which makes me not want to talk in schholl. or do that well. i dont feel motivated… hate the […]
I’m sitting in my high school integrated science class, the closest seat to the front right hand corner facing the class. My teacher is babbling about how my class never shuts up.
“maybe if you actually taught something once in a while..” my mind starts fading and my eyes begin to wonder..
I land on the obnoxious popular boy sitting in the corner with his “clique”, I wonder if he knows they’re going to leave him if they find someone better. There’s some kid sleeping in the back corner by the door, I wonder if his mom cares about his slipping grades.. I wonder why […]