So I was released yesterday from an 11 day stay at the 3rd hospital.. The first time I went was October 3rd-26th. This past time was November 3rd-14th. At the first hospital they put me on Prozac, Zyprexa, and Welbutrin. Hasn’t helped even the slightest.. I’m ready to just drink a bottle of vodka and slit my wrists. For the sake of my family, someone please convince me not to…
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Vodka
new to here. i have actually tried and failled twice to committ suicide. i was unconcious on my frontroom flat the last time. from a couple of litres of vodka and loads of pills. i had to have my stomache pumped out and kept in hospital for a couple of days. i didnt ask to be saved. but some one likes me. i was driven to d hospital and didnt kno where i was. i just am at a seriously low eb in life and have nothing to look forward to. i do not fit in with every day people as such. im just a […]
today after school i hung out with my friend lily she is really nice i met her in P.E i also hung out with my ex or bf or what ever he is we went back to her house and started drinking i just followed along because i did not know what to do it helped numb the pain… after i left they he stayed at her house and continue drinking the scotch she pulled out of her parents liquor cabinet… when i got home i started doing shots of vodka and i did some drinking while i was home by my self i almost […]
I’ve been a heroin addict for about 3 years, I’ve OD’d twice and lost my job, partner, family and non-using friends in the process. I’m a gay man, which I guess doubles my risk of AIDS. I’m 29, and I can’t start over now. My life is done, death is in the fucking post. I’m so sick of people staring at my needle tracks like I’m some fucking lepper. My boyfriend of 7 years kicked me out, and I don’t blame him. Before heroin, I was a serious alcoholic. Like 3 litres of vodka a day. I’d be drinking at 9am, and it wouldn’t be […]
Everything was good, I was happy.. Maybe I just convinced myself I was? I just don’t know what to do, how to help myself.. I hadn’t cut in like three days.. Now I’m watching it pour out of me.. So now I’m going to drink myself to sleep with a bottle of vodka, maybe ill add a few pills and finally finish it to fuck!
I’m sorry if I snapped at anyone at all. I was merely trying to argue and was protecting others while explaining his position. (Sumer) Venom, don’t hate me because I side with someone. I’m the neutral party, if anything no one needs you to ***** out because they shared their ideas. Sumer don’t troll on here. These people are delicate. As am I. Don’t tread on the Bald Eagle. You are a rodent. Now scurry along and infest the russians home as they spill vodka over your body. Don’t hate the americans for the propaganda the russians spill.Â
Listen to the people that care, don’t hate […]
I have put all my affairs in order, and written the letters. I have 200 cocodamol a litre of vodka and my sleeping pills. I am sorry that i have to do this but i have no option. My life means nothing anymore, only god can help me now. This is not a cry for help believe me i have had help ut all they do is try and put things in boxes, or its time to let go. I have had enough of all that my soon to be ex will one day realize just how much i loved her, i am not doing […]
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
today marks the day i hope to change alot of things… my bad habits for starters.
im going to stop drinking vodka so much, and only smoke socially
fix my lack of skill in the saving money department…
hopefully end my current relationship history… find somthing good.
i dont know why. random day , random year, but i feel like its time for a fresh start.
i genuinly hope this happens..
I was cleaning out mygarage today and I found my gneuss, I found my bottles of vodka, older antifreeze that is possible to digest, and I can still smell exhaust in there… I parked my gmc van in the garage closed the door of course and fired it up… This was the windiest night I could ever remember… I was drunk of course, and I fired up an extendo blunt of kush (2 blunts put together)… This van had a blown manifold intake gasket, so it had alot of thick white exhaust… I started to get lightheaded, and felt a CRAZY headache coming on, I […]
This whole thing is just so confusing and depressing. Last month I spent 3 weeks in a psych ward. I was brought in handcuffs in an ambulance having swallowed 59 pills and downed a bottle of vodka. The doctors call it an episode. I cut my long hair to above my ears too before the police came. I guess I should fill you in: I had this episode around 2am one night near the end of Feburary. On top of the booze and pills, I cut my hair and was kicking things and throwing things at walls, screaming and making rediculous amounts of noise. I’m in […]
My mother’s been out of the house for 2 years. She use to drink every second of her life. She’d be passed out 99.9% of the time i saw her. My brother was just cleaning her old room and found 3 of her empty vodka bottles. You have no idea how much i want to find her and punch her. She ruined my life. I have no feelings towards her.
Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]
I’m in a strange mood. Â I would almost say a good mood, but I feel that’s misleading. It’s not that my suicidal desires are gone, but that they’re simply pushed back in my mind. Â I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose, but moods like this make me wonder if I could be bipolar. Â I feel like my current mood could be described as a hypomanic episode. Â For instance, even though I only had maybe four hours of sleep last night, I feel energetic. I want to go out and do something. Â If I had friends I’d call them up and maybe we’d go to […]
Spent New Years Eve completely alone. I have nothing left to live for. I have no real friends, no job, no education, am ugly, have never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin in my mid 20’s. I have never even kissed a girl. Truly pathetic. I have crippling social anxiety and am too scared to even go about seeing a prostitute. I just need to muster up enough energy and courage to go through with my plan and not fuck up and I will never have to endure another moment as myself… I genuinely wish everyone that is here who still have hope […]
I wrote a post sometime last week. I am not sure of the date as it was mostly a blur.  The time came again. Last Tuesday at 5pm after countless minutes/hours/days/weeks etc etc of wondering if suicide was what I want, I tried to commit suicide for the third time. I popped a hell of a lot of panadol, drank some vodka and cut my wrist (again). This time I was going to be successful, I was bleeding everywhere (I had hit a vein) and I was slowly passing out. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open. Then much to my disgust my mother […]
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