I am 51 years old. This is not about fleeting moments of sadness or bad days or a broken and lonely heart. I have family that loves me, friends and a good job. I have no reason to be sad and miserable, but I am. I am tired and bored and depressed. I no longer have any fight in me, no desire, no hope of better days to come. The thought of living another twenty years, another ten or even another year is nearly unbearable to me. Life for some of us was never meant to be long. For whatever reason, some of us just […]
Tag:
want
Everyone knows me as that smiling outgoing girl who is sometimes annoying but speaks her mind whenever something pops into her head! No one knows I feel so alone all the time, and that I just want more love. I always think about my life in the future, married to my dream man, having my dream family that consists of a boy, a girl, And a pair of twins (girl and boy). But then when I think about it I don’t want anything I just want to meet my maker and live a happy life in heaven.
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
I don’t know what it is about him that makes me feel worthless n nothing to him I have spinal scoliosis see he doesn’t seem to believe that n sees me as lieing about how much pain I’m in he has been my stepdad for about 10 years since I was in grade school I’m so tired of him I’ve been in pain from my spine n body for about 3 years but lately it’s just been getting worse I don’t know what to do I feel like giving up on life n he doesn’t care for I can see it in his eyes […]
went to my first therapist session today. …
yeah i really can’t do this. i thought so seriously about killing myself afterwards. i mean, not more seriously than i have before. it’s just… i can never explain to anyone how this feels. i hate everything, and i try so fucking hard all the time to just get along
but i’m stupid, and i make mistakes, and everything is just so goddamn pointless and i never get any joy out of anything and i know people want me here now but i still don’t care, and i guess i hate myself for that, too, but what am […]
The utility of this platform to convey inner thoughts and true emotion is unmatched. I can express myself even though I’m talentless. Look let me skip the formalities of how I usually write and just get to it. I feel guilty. I was reading the first post on SP (this was approximately 1 month ago) and I realized this is a website where you’re supposed to share experiences of suicide. Anything else is viewed as unnecessary. I’ve only posted here a few times, but most of my pieces do not spare detail. But never have I wrote about my suicide attempts, nor do I plan […]
are a fucking joke. we didn’t ask to be born into this hell they call life. let us fucking die if we want. why would we call a number that’s just gonna try to talk us out of it? and the loony bin I’ve been there like seven times since 2005.. every time I left there…. I STILL WANTED TO DIE
I’m lying on my bed waiting.
For the suicide and self harm thoughts to stop.
For my tears to stop flowing.
For my pillow to dry up.
The sun is coming up and I’m still awake.
Thinking.
Waiting.
Listening to the birds telling me to sleep.
More waiting.
For the numbness that will greet me soon.
Hopefully.
I just want to be at peace
Even if it means becoming numb and never being able to be happy ever again.
I’m waiting.
I don’t want to feel anymore.
I’m waiting to become numb.
This probably isn’t the best idea, but…
I’ll get straight to the point. I’m doing this because so many people on here don’t have someone they can confide in reliably and honestly, its the same for me. But if you want to, you can email me at misbahq93@gmail.com
I don’t have much of a social life so I’ll try to respond as soon as possible to any emails. Please, if you really need someone, don’t hesitate. I know I’m not much but I’ll try my best to help you out or at least listen to what you have to say…
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t transition well. And to make things worse I’m not able […]
I’m a 28 year old Canadian male and drawing a blank on what to do with the rest of my life. I have a high school diploma, full-time job with 8 years of experience(sorting mail and making photocopies), perfect sized apartment in an upscale neighborhood and got a bargain on rent price, no women/children/pets/infirmed family to worry about except for my 14 year old brother who I tutor 3 times a week. My friends all live within 20 minutes and I see them 3-4 times a month.
I can’t think of anything else that I want, so why bother going on? I could get a girlfriend, […]
It’s like being at sea and seeing a hurricane approaching. Same feeling in the pit of your stomach, the awe at the power of the beast called nature.
It sucks when every week becomes another storm to weather. I can’t remember the last time where I wasn’t terrified.
I just want want some relief. How have I sinned to deserve this shit being thrown at me?
i am sorry for my English.
i have read some of the post and I can understand them.
I had a good life, good friends and family, I had before though about suicide but I always knew that I don’t really going to do this. And I never understand why I have them.
I don’t want to die and I don’t think anyone want but the pain is sometimes so strong, I have decided to do this because I am too weak and tired. I don’t going to write a suicide note to anyone this is not going to help them, they need to forget about me. So […]
Another day, another reason to live.
Another way, another reason I give.
Today is my Mother’s birthday. It’s also another day where I have changed my mind about ending my life. All the wheels were set in motion, all of the plans were made. Then I was reminded of what today was. I worry about what my death will do to my mother on a normal day, but I can’t use her birthday. So today is just another failed attempt.
It was so peaceful this week, planning everything leading up to today. Now that I know I have to live on another day my world has come crashing […]
I’m scared. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared that I won’t, can’t feel. See, since the day I was born I have had this steadily growing indifference to life. For the past year I’ve been getting this feeling that everything is meaningless, pointless and that terrifies me. I just want to know that if someone I love dies I can feel the pain in losing them, actually be able to cry, somehow force myself to care. I don’t know how I move day to day with this feeling so ingrained in my soul that at some point I’ll feel nothing, not even the fear of […]
My life is perfect today.This depression is deafening. I cant see a thing. My vision is blurred. All I can dream of is death, I just in no way can tolerate one more day, I willingly want to die but I feel im being selfish. Im so much hurt that death looks beautiful. I need the stable peace, I have tried twice this time im jumping off a high building if I can have access to one. Im yet to complete my suicide note. I dont want to hurt my family, but I know im doing it very soon.. everything in my life is in […]
The past few months have been really hard, with the experiences of my past and the relationships I have with my family now, I feel like I can’t go on with all of this rubbish.
I see a therapist to help me try to get back on track with my life and I take anti-depressants, but I feel like my reactions and emotions with what has happened is permanently seared into my heart and soul. Whenever I wake up and I get that painful stab in my chest, you the feeling of your heart literally breaking. I cry almost everyday, longest I have gone without crying […]
Wished i could get off the bed right now, but i cant, why? Because i just cant. Its so warm and cozzy here. Wanna join me?
No i cant, i am too busy planning my demise.
Ok no problem, hey! Will you join us at Bob’s place today?
No i cant, cant you see, i just want to kill myself, i just want to jump off a bridge or stick a big fat knife right above my navel, can you help me?
Hell no, what do you want to go about jumping off bridges and sticking knife in you navel for?
I am depressed
you re depressed, i […]
I don’t want to exist. please help me. I don’t want to be here anymore, i have two kids and a husband. i know it sounds terrible but before i met my husband i was dead set on ending everything. I saw love in him and hope and a future. My children are everything to me but I’m not good enough for any of them. I cant even get out of bed half the time. My pain runs so deep and i don’t think anything will make it stop.
So much sadness.I am going to be very quiet.I am going to be very still. If I do this I can stop trying to explain to them what the matter is,and for that matter,ANYTHING I want to talk of to them…its all no good -they do not want to know.Ive worn their love and interest right the fuck out of them .Nothing I can say about anything is of any relevance.I either go from here and wander til I find a way to live,or to die…or I lay here and die..