So much sadness.I am going to be very quiet.I am going to be very still. If I do this I can stop trying to explain to them what the matter is,and for that matter,ANYTHING I want to talk of to them…its all no good -they do not want to know.Ive worn their love and interest right the fuck out of them .Nothing I can say about anything is of any relevance.I either go from here and wander til I find a way to live,or to die…or I lay here and die..
want
I started cutting a little bit back in March. I had never done it before then. I was panicking, crying and really upset and angry with my family. I didn’t know how to calm myself down and then i just picked up a pin and started poking at my wrists. Eventually I bled a little bit and it freaked me out. I did this twice in the spring. Then I was doing better but tonight I got really upset again and jealous of my younger sister. I got really mad and felt really helpless. I didn’t know how to handle myself again and grabbed the […]
God, Please help me! I want to leave this life and its hardships and burdens. I have planned and stopped many times and think about killing myself every day. I wrote my notes and instructions yesterday. Today I am trying to have new hope and do something to not give in to the end of me. I am 68 years old and extremely depressed, financially bereft and hate my life. I do not want to hurt my children and siblings, but life is so hopeless. I feel humiliated and worthless. I cannot find work and my husband will not help. We lost our home and […]
So… I really don’t know where to start or what I’m even meant to say… My head is so full of racing thoughts that I can’t even work out what the thoughts are, they’re just a complete mess. I don’t want this anymore, I don’t want to live like this. I’ve tried so hard to beat it but I can’t fight anymore, I’m pretty sure fighting with your own mind is impossible anyway? I feel like there’s nothing left to do… I just desperately need to end this, I need to hurry up and do it. I just wish that this guilt wouldn’t stop me/ […]
is superhero real exist ? are superheroes real exist ? is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ? fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!
is superhero real exist ?
are superheroes real exist ?
is superpower or magic real exist ? (like in those cool movies, games, comics, novels, books, anime / manga, etc) ?
you know, like in those ‘cool’ superhero movies : X-Men (X Men), Superman, Thor, Spiderman, Iron man, Captain America, or in those ‘cool’ fantasy / sci-fi (sci fi, science fiction) movies : Harry Potter, Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, TRON, or games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc etc ..
otherwise, fuck this boring reality / real world / real life !!
I hate reality, I hate life , I hate this very *LIMITED* & […]
I honestly believe I live a privileged life. My parents have wealthy paying jobs, and I am able to go to a very nice high school. Nothing awful besides the deaths of my loved ones, and regular crappy teenage drama has happened in my life. I’m lucky. I’ve never been abused or assaulted, but I’m still sad. I was briefly bullied in middle school, but who hasn’t been in their own way? No matter how many incredible things happen in my life, I somehow fall back into a dark place. I have periods where I am so happy, and then I have times where I […]
The more you look back at it, the more it becomes clear. The chaos in the way everything around you moves, breathes, exists and ultimately vanishes into the void. I’m sort of glad I found this place, I wasn’t sure a thing like this would exist. I’ve been cutting so many ties lately, well, is still tough to linger as you start the preparations. I think it was a good idea to set a counter, so I’ll start with 20. I’ll post 20 things in here before I can manage to successfully be one with the nothingness and have the sweet embrace of everlasting silence.
I […]
would it work? I think it might, I just don’t know the side effects. I’m 25 now and have been struggling with my depression anxiety and mania since I was 11. They added borderline personality disorder as a comorbid to my bipolar II when I was 20. I just don’t have it in me anymore to do this. I am a coward, and don’t want it to hurt. I already hurt enough all the time. So I want death to be painless. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I just want to sleep forever and ever. And that makes me […]
I’ve never had much luck with love. It seems that every time I fall for someone, they can’t reciprocate my feelings. I had a girlfriend I really loved when I was younger, from the age of 12 to 13, but I became a phase to her and so she left me. After that I had a few relationships in middleschool and college but I was just settling for people I knew I didn’t love simply because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve had a few people proclaim their love for me and it always makes me feel terrible when I don’t feel that way […]
Far away from facebook , far away from family , far away from people , far away from reality .. I sit there and cry , with every tear drop I hate him andI hate myself even more .. perhaps because I once gave someone the complete power to destroy me with just words :s
and once he had the chance , he did it .. perhaps I’d cut myself later , or maybe I’ll just end it all … but would that change a thing ? no it won’t .. the pain would only follow me into the other life , and while I keep […]
Errr-sorry about the unsupportive manner in which I was attempting to “help” the poor upstanding father to cope,just then…It was Tough Love..and I think it can be very effective if applied the right way….I really do love this site and honestly it helps me quite a bit. I dont want to get 86’d out of here,guys.
For some reason,that seems to happen to me wherever I go and fairly frequently.(???WHY???)I feel so persecuted sometimes.Prob because im so pretty..Yes,I think that must be it.Jealous and Unattractive people are behind this campaign of persecution:):);) (JK)
Seriously though,I cant stand homophobic people. Makes me get […]
I’ve recently moved countries (From America to South Korea) and I know I’m depressed. Theres no doubt about it. I’ve been depressed since i was in 6th grade, so for about 3 years now. And I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to kill myself very soon. People tell me everything’s going to get better but for the past 3 years, everything has been getting worse and worse. I found out about the medicine ******** I believe, but I’m still working on how to get it. I’m 16 and I’ll obviously need a parents permission. I just want this process sped up. But i […]
I’ve always been independent. Independent and mature, people called me. Even when I was a little girl. And I’ve always been the type of person that likes to be alone a lot of the time. I’m tough, I’m strong, and I stand alone. I don’t think about love very often. I don’t want a relationship or to get married; at least not now. I’m eighteen years old; I’m just a baby, people tell me. And that never made sense to me. Wasn’t I the “mature” one? But it all makes sense when it comes down to those moments when everything is dark, both outside my […]
Humans are very bad at making decisions. And I’m no exception. Even though I haven’t decided weather or not I will go for the big and final exit or not, I’m already on my way. Unconsciously, I’ve already started to wither. Smoking is obviously bad and sometimes I wonder if I’m going to get lung-cancer one day. The lung-cancer part doesn’t scare me – but the fact that I couldn’t care less, really freaks me out.
That’s one of me biggest problems now days; I simply don’t care. I don’t care if won’t graduate, I don’t care if my pets gonna die and I don’t care if […]
Definition of Irony: Receiving Invoice from the Ambulance Company after a Failed Suicide
The only thing more pathetic than a person committing suicide is a person that fails epically at it…
“He knows that you have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy.”
Ken Kesey, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Eventually I will get into the back story on why I tried to kill myself, but not today, not up to going through the last 5 years (well really, 45 years) in detail just yet. However, I would like to share my opinion on suicide, […]
I was abused as a child. I can’t remember so many things! I have so many empty spots in my memory that I can’t deal with! I began self harming in elementary school. I haven’t been clean for longer than two weeks since. I want to die so badly! I can’t deal with the pressure from my family, the disappointment in their eyes when they look at me, knowing how much more disappointed they’d be if they found out I’m not as straight as they think. I am everything they hate. I can’t do anything right in their eyes, yet they expect so much from […]
It’s so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint-it’s a physical thing. Like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. So you just keep quiet.
Quote: “How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” -David Foster Wallace
I constantly try to get to write something down and when I finally do, I delete it all. (How very unsatisfying.)
Just like my life is unsatisfying. (I really want to delete this too.)
I’m scared of posting stuff. (I want nobody I know to know who I am. At least not my name. They wouldn’t know me any more than that.)
Where is the delete button for my life? (I guess there are actually a lot)
(I think I should just delete this all.)
Oh look! Now that I’ve managed to make […]
Hi everyone I don’t know what I’m gonna get out of this post but I only hope it’s good.
I really want to leave this earth I have a power cord and the staircase from my room that I have ready to hang myself from I have a letter ready aswell.
Im way too sensitive for this planet and I can’t handle all of the hatred everywhere not only aimed at me but at everyone. It’s a hell on earth I live in!
I wish I could block out all of the negativity I’ve tried and tried to no avail the only thing I feel will make me […]