My girlfriend and I of over two years are going off to college this fall. She thought she was going to the same school as me until just a few weeks ago she decided to change for the better if her education. She going to a different state. We truly are in love and aren’t one of those bullshit high school relationships. I’m gonna miss her so much and she’s all il ever think about the entire time. Now I don’t even want to go to college. I just want to be with her. Any advice?
I wonder if I’m doing what’s best for me, or whether this decision will cause me more pain. I sit and think if there will ever be a day when I let go of this fear thats weighing me down. I wish for the day when I can love myself truly and be happy with who I am and where I’m at. For the day that I let myself fall hopelessly in love and get married and have kids, for the day when I’m not too afraid to let myself be happy. I wish and I hope for that day when for once my happiness […]
Do you ever just want to stab the fuck out of your arm?
Lol. Can’t wait until the day I die…. Maybe I won’t go to a world full of pink ponies but at least I will no longer be on this evil planet. Every time I think I have hope, it goes crashing down into oblivion. I have no future. Die young. I’m sitting here smoking cigarettes, and waiting until I can dip gummy bears in a glass of whiskey. I hate being alone. I can’t stand going to clubs, every time I am in a disco i […]
Certainly not the spiritual kind, just an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissistic and controlling human woman.
It feels like only one of us will make it out of this war alive. On nights like tonight I often think about taking the situation into my own hands and exiting this war on my own terms. I’m tired and I’m dreary.
Then I’m reminded that I fight back harder every single time. Tonight, when physical abuse came at me, I did not allow it. I fought back, I defended myself physically. That was my first time.
There must be something in that, I wouldn’t be fighting so hard if I […]
I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age […]
Suicide.
A word whispered in our home on and off over the past 30 years. I attempted suicide when I was 17 and almost succeeded. I went on to ‘be normal’ with threats of ECT and other drugs. So I tried to act as ‘normal’ as one possibly could with the childhood I had. I watched my mother be beaten to a bloody pulp, moved so many times I lost count, was molested and have never felt like I ‘belonged’. Eventually I started going to church which helped a lot and the panic attacks subsided and I went on to earn a […]
Everything is getting so messed up. I’m just…. I feel unwell and sick and nervous and unsettled and unhappy and I can’t call anyone because no one is answering their phone and I feel lonely and I don’t feel good. :'(
I just said I could work an extra night next week, but on those nights I see my psychologist and I don’t like it when things don’t go in routine. My little girl side of me doesn’t like it and it’s upsetting. I usually get my mum to console me or make my decision for me she’s not answering her phones. She tells me “Call […]
There is three types of idiots in this world: Idiots who do evil because they like seeing you suffer or because they want to show off in front of their “friends”. Then there is those who don’t care about the consequences of their actions; they don’t intentionally hurt you but if through any of their actions you take damage they don’t give a single fuck – aka “Don’t get in my way.” The last type are the ones who don’t understand or know about the consequences of their actions, either because they are too dumb to figure it out or because they just haven’t realized […]
(I realise that all of them are bad in one way or another) but I want to know specific ones I should definitely avoid. I’m going to see a psychiatrist tomorrow and the nurse told me that because of my assessment results I will most likely be prescribed antidepressants, so I want to come in prepared. I would be very thankful if any of you could advice me on this; I don’t want to get side-effects that will make me feel worse than I already do.
How do you fear your own mind?
Your own actions?
Your own feelings?
I have no control
I just feel and think terrible things unwillingly.
Help
I want to scream
I want to Cry
I’m just scared
Everything I do to help me hurts other people.
I don’t want anyone else to feel this way.
I just don’t want to either.
Can anyone hear me.
I feel like im screaming in room filled with people but no one can hear me!
Im right here.
It hurts. I’m scared
I DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS
IT ISNT MY CHOICE
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
I’m not crazy !
I’m not a freak
I’m Scared !
Why wont anyone listen?
Why Am I alone ?
Why don’t you care?
I just want to die.
I hate my life.
Try to live my life.
Live with my ADD.
Live with my social awkwardness.
Live with my slight autism.
Live with it all.
It’s a fucking nightmare.
I’ve tried getting help but it never works.
It never will.
I’m done.
It’s over.
Maybe i am confuse but
Maybe im not
but i no
im still bisexuale
Tell me this
why am i like this
i just want this to end
please just please
let me die
oh please
I don’t even know where to begin.
I don’t even know if this website is still active.
I just, there’s some thing weird going on inside me and I don’t know how to explain it.
I’ve been suffering for 6 years, depression and anxiety. PTSD.
I sometimes feel like I’m getting better, but then suddenly… I’m just not.
I don’t want to die, but I feel misplaced here. I find myself crying to go home… but I am home. I’m in my bedroom, but I still cry for home. Home is where the heart is, but where is my heart?
I hope I don’t violate the rules on this website. Please, […]
I’ve already picked a date on when I’m going to kill myself. I decided I’ll do it by overdosing on nortriptyline. I have a total of 600mg and a bottle of red wine. Will that be enough? I’m afraid I’ll wake up paralyzed or brain damaged. I don’t want it to be a failed attempt. I hope it won’t be too painful.
feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
I can’t take this hospital. I’ve tried to hold it together, I’ve tried to be strong, for you guys and for my sister, but I don’t know if I can anymore. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’ve had a complete 180 turn since I was admitted 2 days ago. I feel like there isn’t hope anymore. I just can’t live with my past… it’s too horrible. The only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t is because I don’t know how my sister would react. I think she’d blame herself, and I don’t want that. I just want her […]
I swear I can’t get mad at people, I get mad at myself instead when they let me down or do something wrong because of course it would have to be my fault and I am getting what I deserve. There is a person in my life with several issues but I accept them for who they are or who I wanted to believe they are. It’s like no matter how they treat me I tell myself they are doing the best they can and I need lighten up. I feel humiliated for what I tolerate. Is mutual respect really too much to ask for? […]
Cant bear to live anymore. Im in so much pain. There are times where I silently lay n pray for death while im trying to sleep. But then I feel so guilty for feeling that way I feel so selfish. cuz I have a 3 year old daughter n I cant even imagine putting her thru the pain of having a mom that commited suicide I dnt want to emotional lu hurt her or damage her. What do I do
You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can […]