As a child I was weird. I grew up thinking that the world was as nice as the sunny Sundays I spent in my mother’s arms when I was a kid. When I got into socializing, at the age of 5 or 6, I started
Tag:
wanted
What are the ethics of suddenly making out with Person X, when you were invited a few hours before to Person Y’s house, who may or may not have wanted to have sex with you, and who you like, and who may or may not like you back, and who you are trying to enter a relationship, and when Person X is also trying to enter a relationship, and is the best friend of your ex, who is probably over you but might not be? I know it’s very long-winded, but it’s been plaguing me for the last 24 hours.
Funny, she once said to me that I must have an incredible life. She used to listen to me when I rambled on about traveling here and traveling there – she was young and I wore the mask well. Once again I was reminded that people really don’t know – the space between us is too grand. I was a hero to her and a joke to myself – I feared that if we hung out much longer she would see that I was just roadkill. How worldly was I – my well being hung on a thread at the corner of her smile. So […]
I’ve had suicidal thoughts for a while now and I just wanted to know does overdosing on painkillers hurt? Like if I were to take 12 painkillers would it be painful?
basically my life is hopeless no matter any situation, I’m always the one in the back corner by myself. I don’t want to live, I’ve been on and off suicidal for 2 years now, not one person in my family knows I am suicidal, and that I tied a noose and put it around my neck ready to jump one night. No one knows. Even in this moment I type, I want to stab myself in the throat every waking moment.
I just wanted to tell someone finally. Get it out after so long.
Im female, I’m 14 and have been self harming for 3yrs now. I was raped 5 times all by different people, beat by my step mom, ignored by my father, and I have tried to kill myself countless times. I have a few close friends that know what I’ve gone through and I have a girlfriend who is completely oblivious to the shit I’ve gone through… I just wanted to put a brief summary of my story out there so people know that sometimes it could be worst. Try and stay strong
I am 21 y.o girl in engineering unversity. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when this is all started. I want to talk about this to someone but I trust nobody. I think they won’t take my story seriously.
I always feeling lonely. I used to have bestfriend in elementary school, but she bad-talking me behind my back. I hate her. I tried to make a new bestfriend, but I didn’t find anyone who can understand me. I started my junior high school life. I tried again to make a new bestfriend. I did find one and last for 3 years, until before […]
Today during lunch I ran into my mentor Mrs. S, (if you read my last post then you would know that I’m kind of hesitant to see her.) Anyways I ran up to her and hugged her tight, she wanted to see my progress report, and she saw I was failing Algebra 2, so she grabbed my hand and took me to math tutorials, an pushed me in the room, my feet were sliding across the floor. Lol. Everyone was looking at me, i tried leaving but the teachers blocked the door. After 10 minutes of arguing I sat down and Mrs. S sat there […]
Two years ag, I lived in Switzerland for a couple of months, working as an au-pair. I was in a small village, in the middle of the Alps.
Living there, the landscape, the routine with the kids, it made me feel so peaceful, that I desired to stay that way forever.
One day, I visited Sion, the capital of the canton of Valais.
After walking around that quiet and both modern and old town, I found a place where the town just stops and give space to the nature. It’s a big square, and just in front of it, all those flowering cherry trees. At the sides, two […]
So Im new here. Kind of. Ive kinda been browsing this site on an off since I first found in in 2013. I don’t even really know why I’m posting here now. I’ve never posted here before cause i felt like I couldn’t. Like I wasn’t supposed to that it was wrong to. I mean what right do I have to come to some community an post about how shitty I feel?
But here I am.
I’ve tried to kill myself several times before. And I kinda think I might try again soon. Im just. Fucking done with everything. Im just tried of being used and thrown […]
I find myself just waiting.
I’m in the world’s longest queue and just when I get to the end, I’m redirected by a version of myself back to where I started.
I’d say things were going better because to everyone else, it appears like my life is picking up again. I’m talking to friends, showering, sleeping fairly normally and going the gym regularly.
But it’s not okay. I am useless at pretending to be okay. It is not a skill I have mastered.
Went to a different therapist the other day. She really was a lovely woman, but I told her exactly what she wanted to hear. Just like […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
Long read. Pretty sure people are too lazy to read it all so i don’t mind if no one comments on this or anything.
I’m suffering from depression. I take meds that aren’t as many as the ones I took when I tried to OD and kill myself. I’m seeing a doctor once every week.
So after one session with my doctor, she told me to tell my parents to call the next day so they could talk. And my dad was acting like I told the teacher something he did wrong and that he’ll get punished.So he was pressing that I give him a hint about […]
I’ve been toying with what I think is my favourite memory recently, just letting it play on repeat behind my eyes. It’s kind of a double edged blade, because when I’m in it, I’m happy. But happiness leads to overthinking, a sword I think many of us here at SP fall on regularly.
Okay, so it’s his 20th birthday. It feels like only yesterday but it was a lifetime ago now. We threw him a party at the house and so many people came. A testament to how loved he was. Scratch that. How loved he still is. I was actually enjoying myself being around other […]
I never haven’t had a chance to tell very many people about this, but I am into something which is known as autoerotic asphyxia and it is not easy to talk about this and unlike other people who claim to be into this claim that it gives them a “high” and they don’t really want to die, but I think that’s bullshit and they are lying! With me, when I get hit with this intense desire, I don’t just want to experience a “high”, but I actually want to hang myself! Also, I want to be totally nude when I hang myself and then I […]
soo…hi.. ^^
well i dont know where to start…i became 17 last december…since i was a kid i fucked up everything..
literally everything…school..relatives.. even my parents dont want me with them..im not good at studying..
im just useless..my family wanst a good one either.. parents devorced..had to live with step mom..and it was horrible.. then i went to cyprus
where my mom worked..i wasnt good with my step father either..i just didnt know how to communicate..
slowly i go used to people..language..made friends.. still..i was lonely..even tho i laugh..i feel really empty..my mom was complaining about how low my grades are..
that i stuck to […]
Throughout my life, I’ve been torn down, thrown to the side, laughed at, tortured, and just been made out to be a vulnerable girl. In Elementary school, I was bullied about my weight and appearance. In Middle school, I was cyberbullied and forced to have intimacy at 13. When I got to high school, I lost someone I prayed I wouldn’t lose; my own mother. I watched her become diagnosed with colon cancer and heard it spread to her liver. She hung on until I was almost sixteen. With hospice by her side and my family, I watched her pass away. I still have the […]
Don’t know why but today I feel like writing my story. So I will. Pardon the Grammar.
No human story is ever single dimensional. there are always multiple reasons that prompt your action and that action causes multiple effects. Whenever I have new mood or new type of person in front of me (that is, in my psyche), I see my life from a different angle. I personally like the curiosity angle and have most respect for spirituality angle. Social angle is the most ugly. I might at times mix them with one another, because ultimately they are one and the same.
(I like to recall things according […]
Hey everyone,…
I ‘m new Here.
And…
I’m lost right now….
Everything goes wrong in my head for 7 years… It goes up and down but i know now nothing will never be fine. I think I’m a lost cause. Last year i décided to see a therapist for the first time and I must take now neuroleptics for my anxieties.
Since 7 years all i wanted to do was get away from the others… I never trusted anyone. But last year something changed, and I could finally have a true friend… Someone who was here everytime it goes bad, someone to talk to, someone who […]
I wanted to keep trying and i wanted to live, but i literally can’t anymore. Im just a hollow shell of whoever i used to be. I thought that maybe i could be somebody, but i should have known better. Im nothing but a failure. I just want to be able to finally reach happiness i guess.
I don’t know how long I can even go on now. Everything anyone says just hurts to hear and I just want to be able to be strong, but I’m pretty sure thats just an unrealistic dream.
Everyone around me expects so much and they just say ‘Be happy!’ and […]