I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come […]
*WARNING LONGEST STORY + RANT EVER ABOUT FIGHT WITH FAKE FRIENDS*
So once again I am taken advantage of and treated like shit for it. I try to be a good person and this is what I get. So I was friends with four girls, their initials are S,M,ME, and E, because i don’t want to use their real names. I was friends with them for almost a year and I noticed that even at lunch, M stopped talking to me. And a few days later, E told me M said “I need to talk to you about Tara, I am so done with her […]
Last year on December 9th I lost my virginty, to a guy I thought really liked me. We where talking over the summer and he was always busy. After many tries we finally saw each other. The place where we going to go was closed so he said lets just go to the park. He asked if I had any smokes, I told him no. So we went across the street and he made me pay for the cigs. As we got to the park it […]
I have often wondered why I wanted to just end it. And I usually end up with the fact that I am lost and my life has no direction. But now, I realized, there’s something more than that.
I realized that I am the complete opposite of myself before (when I was driven, confident, ambitious). Now I am very insecure, confused and just flat-out tired and unmotivated. What makes me want to end it is I could have AVOIDED IT. I USED to be on the other side, the side of optimism, of hope in the future. When I started college, I was among intelligent people, […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was very young. I was raised knowing that I wasn’t very much liked in my family and knowing I’ve caused so much pain over the years just existing is killing me inside. Nobody deserves the things I’ve done and I just can’t be this person anymore. When my mom got pregnant for me she was cheating on my younger sister’s father with my father, who was dying. When I was born my mother want allowed to tell many people about my real father because her boyfriend didn’t want people to know. My father died the day I turned […]
So today I started posting on this blog for suicidal people. I posted and eventually a buncha people started egging me on to cut myself some more. Obviously I have terrible self esteem so I did it. I started broadcasting my cutting. They were asking for it. So I did it. How did my life get so bad? Why is my timing in life so bad? Nobody will ever understand. They’ll all just assume. Assume assume. All I’ve ever wanted is a girlfriend. I went to a seminar in las vegas to gain confidence with woman. Shortly afterwards I had sex with the first non […]
but i just want to die. I’m tired. i have been suicidal before. but this is different. because i know the outcomes. things get better. but they never really change. and i don’t want to live an entire life cast under this shadow. if that makes me weak, out of touch, mentally ill, so be it. all i ever wanted was some form of justice -some type of recognition. i never got anything. the man that ruined my life sits on the beach and i’m sick of it, so bye. sorry i couldn’t be the strong one.
Hi
This is my first time writing on here and I am kind of scared to talk. I’m quite shy.
But hey, I might aswell tell you what I am hoing through.
People hate me. Short and sweet I know but it is true. People just hate who I am.
I cut. Just like everyone expects me to do. I mean, people expect me to want to end my life, and I do, but the point is I can leave wheni I want to leave. Its not like anyone would care anyway.
My story? Well it all started when my sister died. I was only […]
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
And to think that I actually believed you.
You said you wanted me, just me. Now you’re changing, and you no longer want me anymore. Yeah. Leave me. From the beginning, I’ve never left you at all. If I do so it must be because you’re busy. Or I need time alone. You left me. You said I will leave, but now you’re the one leaving. Yeah go on. I like how you lie. Yeah. Go on. Pain is addictive. Hurt me more if you can. In this relationship I’ve never pretended before. I sincerely love you with all my heart. Hah. Who knows, […]
Day after day… my heart gets heavy
day after day, water blinds my eyes, i cant bear it anymore
i feel like a tool, people turn on when they wanna have my body
am i just a body? i also have feelings… but day after day, my heart gets broken.
i dont believe in love neither in feeling, all i believe is in selfishness
all the fairy tales I’ve read and watched as a child… they’re far, far away from me.
i wanted to be your Cinderella,
and day after day, all i wanted was to be hugged.
I’m just a doll boy,a forgotten one.
when you want to touch me… it feels good, […]
Since suicide by starvation alone takes a considerable amount of time, ive decided to drink smal doses of anti freeze mixed into my gatorade, i posted yesterday stating i was beginning the starvation process but ive actually been on it for 5 days so far including today. ive gone fr 170lbs to 161lbs so far and feel like death figuratively, but thats probably due to taking my anti anxiety meds without food. Like many of you i wanted the least painful way to go. I dont suggest these methods. i will update with how the antifreeze affects my body in a couple of days.
I am 24 years old, i have been fighting depression for about 4 years now. It all began when the girl i was in love with for 5 years was raped and she became different and left me. i have attempted suicide once and failed, i was locked up in a suicide watch institute for 3 days (worst thing ever they take everything from you and you sit in silence wanting to die even more) luckily my sister worked there and got me out. My current gf recently left me because i was too depressed of a person, i loved her with everything i had […]
Hi, my name is Susanna. I’m 21 and been struggling with my entire life. And coming to the end of my road, feel that it’s meant to happen.
II’ve been through so many things in past that i wonder myself why i’m still here. Childhood went me trying to crow myself. My mother has been too depressed to take care of us, i’ve been in foster home where I’ve been beaten and sexually abused by my own brother, and by his friend. I have an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa with bulimia, had as long as can remember, been crowned to it. My ed isn’t the only […]
my best friend, my second half, for years we wanted to kill ourselves together, a suicide pact. And a couple days after my birthday two years ago he hung himself. And I can’t deal with the guilt I don’t want to wait anymore to die my time is soon. I have no right to live. I just want to be with my second soul in heaven anywhere but here. I’d rather see blackness for eternity alone then to be here one more day not being with him
Remember that time when you were truly happy. Truly happy despite all the crap in your life. Truly happy despite the people that wanted to see you sad. Especially happy for the people that liked to see you happy. So incredibly happy, that you didn’t even realize you were happy. You just were there, and everything was more or less alright.
wasn’t that a good time.
…
now you have a burden to carry.its all you can think about.
Hello everybody.
Love from me.
I am 22 and I live in Bosnia. Its fucked up place like every place on this planet.
I”ve been all over the world. Worked on cruise ship for two years. I feel so lonley. Like nobody unmderstand me. Even when I am with other people,drinking,laughing,I feel alone…completley…All the time thinking about that…Feeling so distanced from other people.
Born as Muslim,but started to practice religion with 16 for 3 years. Now I dont belive in nothing but death.
I have so many disorders. Obsessive compulsive disorder….etc
Didnt had girlfriend. Now I met girl called Sandra and I a made mistake again. […]
I took 4.5mg of synthroid a little over 2 hours ago, I sure hope this works but all I have noticed thus far is a headache. I sure hope it starts to do something soon because I don’t want anyone to witness my death. Really wanted it to be over already…
Dear she who will not be named
I never asked you to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t have ever said hello or looked my way. That day on the subway when for some reason or another you asked me to watch your shit while you paid, you should have just thanked me and been on your way. There was no reason to start a conversation, to ask me about my day or any of it. You were just a stranger and it’s funny that after everything that happened that’s all you are once more. A stranger. Somebody that I thought I knew, that I thought […]
I have everything I ever wanted,
No… seriously , I do. Yet it feels like nothing, I hurt all the time and just want to sleep, cry and sleep. The hardest part is that it just makes me hate myself even more, the doctors say “depression” and give me pills that don’t work, the friends say it’s because I work too hard and suggest a drink (like I need ANOTHER addiction in my life to battle, one that is socially acceptable, cheap and everywhere, and I thought heroine was hard to stay away from). The saddest part of all of this is that I see myself […]