Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Please let me introduce myself: I am a suicide. “A suicide…?” you say, with some shock, thinking I have just made a joke in very poor taste. Yes, a suicide is what I am. I have been dead for some time now, emotionally and spiritually, if not physically as of the time of this writing. My actual name does not matter, nor do the majority of my life’s circumstances. I was never a happy person; that is not to say I had always been sad, or down, or any other state implying the opposite of ‘Happy”, merely that […]
I often found myself on this site, in my darkest days when i’d thought i didn’t want to live anymore. I have tried to kill myself 3 times by overdose. I just can’t describe the feeling i have to anyone, i literally battle every single day of my life with suicidal thoughts. Next year i will be 20 and i have never felt loved by anyone in my entire life, sure i have a boyfriend and to the outside world he probably seems caring and loving, yet somethings missing. I have told him the way i feel and the things that i feel would make […]
my life is boring.their is no hope to live the life the way i wanted.i haven’t done nothing which i like in my life.i gave up my career. their is no hope to live. im ending my life. this is my best decision in my life.
I’ll be honest, I only found this website because of a research paper I’m doing of a local community issue for my university English 111 class. I picked ‘suicide prevention’ as my topic because that was the one I know the most about. I might just be an average joe but I feel like I can relate to some on here. Though it feels like my situation was nothing compared to you guys.
I was born in Bellevue, Nebraska on the Air Force Base with a “disability.” I wouldn’t really call it one but it doesn’t enable me to do certain things. I was born with […]
I am not certain what to type here.
A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me. To put it mildly, life was pretty good. I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.
Now?
Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out. After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had […]
I’ve been super crazy busy and I hate that I don’t have time to come on here and read posts, comment or write anything. You are all awesome and have been so amazing to me, so I just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I’m still here, just working a lot and busy trying to find a second job. Crazy crazy life never slows down, haha.
I hope you all are well and hopefully I’ll get my schedule balanced out soon. I miss chatting with you guys.
<3
EK
I’ve been dealing with this pain for so long… I’ve attempted so many times. I can’t take this anymore. it kills me. I’m afraid to make friends because they’ll all just leave me by death or turning against me. I’m so sick and tired of crying myself to sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And feeling like a fucking mistake to my parents. Why was I born? My mom should have fucking got an abortion. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! IT’S TO FUCKING HARD! LET ME GO! PLEASE PLEASE LORD LET ME DIE! I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready to pull the damn trigger and […]
Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.
I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..
I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame […]
The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]
Have you ever wanted someone to give you everything. You spent forever obssesing over it getting emotionally drained over what you need and not focusing on what you are given. I realized a little too soon… too late that even if he gave me what I wanted I still wouldn’t know what to do with it. Thats just logic. A WOMAN WHO ACTS LIKE A CHILD WITH MEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT AND REGECTION. LOVE ME LOVE ME I told him when I don’t even love myself. So I left him before he could leave me so I could fix myself and become worthy but all I […]
i didn’t know what love was
I thought it was
Bared breasts
And
Sweat
I just wanted love
So
I didn’t cover myself
I pretended I was asleep
Then I found out
That sex is not love
I’m ashamed
of what my ignorance led to
It led to me
Being dirtied
These are the nights and the lights that we fade in
These are the words but the words aren’t coming out
They burn because they are hard to say
For every failing sun, there’s a morning after
but I just wanted you to know
that the world is ugly
but you’re beautiful to me
and are you thinking of me
like I’m thinking of you
though I really need to go
I just wanted you to know
It’s funny, despite it all, I’ve never felt this at ease before.
Whether its true acceptance, or an effect of events just causing an emotional overload and subsequent shutdown, numbing, and carefree state, I don’t know. Either way it doesn’t really matter.
How I survived the other times still confuses me, seems so simple, how could one screw up something like that, multiple times even, so strange.
An old friend once said to me years ago, “you know they say practice makes perfect”, sorta to lighten up the whole feeling of “how pathetic and useless am I to be able to fuck up something that easy”.
Might […]
I woke up last night at exactly 0249hrs — the exact moment that the figure of beauty you see in front of you decided to call me after six months of no contact. I’m not going into specifics because right now I’m fucking tired and…for the first time since she died, I’ve decided to read what the news sites etc had to say about the events surrounding her death.
My point stands — it was no accident, and she knew what she’d gotten herself in to.
She wasn’t an idiot, but we can all be stupid at […]
Out of all the boys in high school I fell deeply for the emotionally unavailable. This person who I would like nothing more than to give all of myself too has never felt love. While guys were in there room every night playing video games he was working or running errands for his mother. Not your average teenager he was a man. As psychotic and bi polar as I can be …as I am I was always my best with him but its hard for me to express my emotions to someone who I knew liked me so much but never said anything. So there […]
so ive been in this relationship for a couple months now, and here i thought i was finally getting the hang of it. I thought i could finally make her happy. And i was making her happy up until the last few days. then i fucked the whole think up by saying something stupid as i always do. except this time it was worse. I told her one of her exes (one who broke up with her and she still had feelings for) didn’t care about her. that he was using her for some reason. i had figured this because i thought he might suffer from […]
Joining the suicidal project not because I am suicidal God knows Iv’e never been ballzy enough to even atempt. However, these dark thoughts have haunted me and I’m completely lost in the problems of child hood and self demolition. I have became who I’ve never wanted to be like my father… and i am scared to be come what my biggest fear my mother. Anyways here I come , just another dark post.
Have you ever met that one person you just can’t stop thinking about? Well, i have. And in my case it suck balls. So, let’s start evert ‘good’ story as it always starts, with alchohol.
It was in the summer, in the local park everyone was drinking, everything was great. I was there with my friends, wich i now got and they are the best. But that dosen’t matter, because this is about a guy that haven’t felt love in many many years. Let me give you some bavkground. Okay, so there was this 14 year old, and that boy met a girl when he started […]
Mid 20s, female. I wanted to go to grad school but my GPA is a bit below 3 so I feel like that decimates my chances. My degree is useless without going to grad school. I feel like a failure. I struggled with depression and weight my last year which made me lose my good GPA I have worked to lose 100 lb but I am still unhappy inside. Been on meds all my life but the depression is still there, deep down. I’ve always thought about the possibility of killing myself in a painless way. Death has fascinated me since I was 5.
I […]
was looking up effective suicide methods and stumbled across your site. it’s hard to not really have people to talk with when i feel this way and most posters her seemed kind and smart so i thought i would register. really ptsd triggered today and that usually causes me to want to escape and that is really hard. i feel pretty abandoned by the universe at times like these. i try a hard as i can with my health challenges and ptsd and still things are a hot mess. have thryoid problems that are resisting treatment and i keep wondering if i just stopped taking […]