Tag:

wish

Day 16

by LetItGo 1/27/2014

written by LetItGo

Hi Guys,

I don’t feel well… I feel suicidal… So suicidal… So depressed and sad I don’t know what to do…

How am I? Physically: Broken Mentally: Broken

My physical state… It’s just not the best right now… I have no cuts… Well not yet… Maybe later tonight my body will have a few… But who knows? Maybe I’ll be pathetic and not cut… I just don’t know… I don’t feel well… I don’t feel like I deserve to live… I’m in so much pain… So many tears… Why should I live when I’m in so much pain? Can’t I go?

My mental state… It’s just too broken […]

1/27/2014 2 comments

questions

by Tormenting Dreams 1/27/2014

written by Tormenting Dreams

Has it really been a year? i sit here in remembrance of all that had occurred in one single solitary year. It goes back even farther than that though. 20 years since i was born, 5 years since i had escaped, 5 years since i became trapped, 4 years since i had lived, 1 year since i escaped. 1 year since i became free to live and die in my own way.

Time.

Time is so much more than the essence of numbers. It holds so much more meaning than that itself. Time heals all, time wounds all, time drives one mad, and […]

1/27/2014 1 comment

I fell asleep alone, but slept with you beside me.

by Fallen_Hearts_Hopes_Lost 1/25/2014

written by Fallen_Hearts_Hopes_Lost

Every night I fall asleep thinking of what it is I wish I could have the most, at one point in time I wanted to be happy. And then I found happiness, I found myself falling in love with someone so completely imperfect. I knew that what it was that was between him and I wasn’tÂ a reality because at the end of the day he fell asleep next to my sister, except on the many occasions that he fell asleep on the couch with me beside him. But in the end he was beside her, she got to call him “my boyfriend” I got to […]

1/25/2014 3 comments

My introductions

by whywecant 1/25/2014

written by whywecant

Hello

My name is not important and I have been experiencing suicide ideation and fantasy since I was 10 in my memory , likely earlier, 6 as reported by my mother.

I am 21 now and things are more or less as bad as they usually are in my perception. I struggle with self-criticism, anxiety, depression, etc, worthlessness, hopelessness. You know the ropes by now.

I know there are people that love me and people that care, which makes things all the worse. Usually my ideation and fantasy has more to do with the concept of “un-existing” or “erasing” my life. It’s not a spite or glory or […]

1/25/2014 1 comment

I Want To Disappear

by feraliana 1/24/2014

written by feraliana

I don’t want to die, but I also don’t want to be alive. I don’t want to be here. I’m not suicidal, I just wish I was erased from the memories of family and friends. I wish I would forget everything that ever happened to me and maybe I could start a new life.

I am still able to laugh and enjoy things but when I’m alone I cry and hope that maybe I will be erased from existence. I sleep when I’m at my lowest because the pain becomes too much, I take comfort in the fact that once I’m sleeping there’s a chance I […]

1/24/2014 5 comments

i hate life

by ToCoolForMyMom 1/24/2014

written by ToCoolForMyMom

tbh i wish i had something to kill myself with in this house and theres NOThING Here it makes me hate this place 10 times moreâ€¦â€¦.i need to die soon

1/24/2014 4 comments

Suffering in silence

by molly woppit 1/22/2014

written by molly woppit

Im really down at the moment.i switch from being depressed to irritable and angry back and fourth my husband is sick of my bipolar and goes off at me if i cry.i just lost a really close friend and im grieving im so sad i have nothing to say i dont have the energy to do anything and i just want to be alone.im sick of being depressed ive had 6 major deppressions in the last year im just worn out im sick of taking pills im sick of myself i wish i was single so i could just hide from the world i wish […]

1/22/2014 2 comments

I Don’t Ask For Much

by Anisotropic 1/12/2014

written by Anisotropic

I really don’t ask for a lot out of life.Â I mean I’ve wished for a lot of things, sure, and who hasn’t? I know that I don’t need a lot of luxuries in life.Â Â But is it really too much to ask for a little stability in my life?Â All I want to be able to do is go to sleep at night without being anxious about where I’ll end up sleeping and if I’ll eat tomorrow.Â It’s the reason I ended up suicidal in the first place.Â Not the self-esteem issues, not the loneliness, not any failed relationship, not school, not work.Â Hell, […]

1/12/2014 5 comments

Wish I Could Be

by stargirl 4/9/2013

written by stargirl

Wish I could be
your best friend
your sister
Wish I could hold
your hand
your love
Wish I could forget
all the pain
Wish I could remember
the lost days of my past
days where you stood beside me
and held my hand
while I tried to hang onto sanity.
Which I can’t do anymore.
Not without you.

4/9/2013 1 comment

A Wish

by Madeleine 2/26/2013

written by Madeleine

So … I haven’t told anyone about my suicide thoughts but I can really just say I am exhausted of life. Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just want to be once something or someone I have planned. I believe in the afterlife and after reading the book “many lives, many masters” my fear and point of view of the afterlife or what is happening after the dead. I did research and I found out and it’s what that book is delivering: you can choose who and what you want to be in your next life, life lesson you want to learn and a […]

2/26/2013 3 comments

what a year ><

by --334560 12/31/2012

written by --334560

this year was the toughest one I have had in my life. i dropped out of college twice and was hospitalized 4 times. i have experienced the lowest points in my life this year. but i have also realized many important things. i have grown up. i have gotten closer to my husband. he is my best friend. he helps me through my illness. i have gotten closer to my church family and i am now in the beginning phases of getting real intensive treatment for my BPD. i hope that i begin to really heal this year. i am fed up of this lifestyle […]

12/31/2012 1 comment

My Voice

by BrooklynBoxx 12/9/2012

written by BrooklynBoxx

The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up andÂ never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell,Â awakening the pits of my hell.
Â Pinned against the wall, being six a littleÂ small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching,Â feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
Â Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking,Â nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad […]

12/9/2012 20 comments

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