Tag:

work

nightmare yet again

by death101 6/27/2014

written by death101

so i finally thought i overcame everything, but lately i felt the need to cut, i have cut out of desperation

i had an argument with a friend causing me and my partner to break up and causing her to break up with my friend,

things were said people where hurt and it hit me… i already felt dead inside… thoughts in my head “this is what you done, its your fault, your no good , everyone better of not knowing you” ect … so i went downstairs got a box of pills and took 24 paracetamols hoping id never wake up…

but here i am …. the […]

6/27/2014 4 comments

From dizzying heights to deepest ditch

by Bloodboil 6/26/2014

written by Bloodboil

Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]

6/26/2014 1 comment

Unwanted and Invisible

by Spoyald 6/26/2014

written by Spoyald

Almost a year ago I tried to kill myself after my husband of 23 years dumped me. I had alcohol and Xanax and felt that was a way to tell him f*ck you. I ended up in ICU for a day then the nuthouse for two more. After I got out he left me alone by myself for a day and half until my sister got here. I could barely walk but he didn’t care. Since then I have been trying to cope with the whole situation but its hard after finding out he was engaged to another woman before we were even divorced. My […]

6/26/2014 4 comments

by Kallian 6/25/2014

written by Kallian

Work stresses me, but being home triggers me. I’d rather be at work right now

6/25/2014 2 comments

I don’t want to do this anymore.

by needleinthehay 6/25/2014

written by needleinthehay

I’ve had mental health problems since I was around 10 or 11 and I’m 22 now and frankly, I’m just getting worse and worse. The medical profession have basically written me off as a time waster because of a few failed attempts and because I’ve ended up in a&e from drug and alcohol abuse a fair few times. Although I don’t suppose that really matters because with a condition like mine, the best I’m going to get is “learning to cope”. Like, all I have to hope for is dragging out the time between breakdowns and getting better at talking myself off the metaphorical ledge. […]

6/25/2014 2 comments

there is no coming back from this

by hopeless and alone 6/24/2014

written by hopeless and alone

So the past few days have been hard anyway……I forgot to take my lithium….the bad thoughts were relentless. And then I find out that my husband cheated on me with this whore. ….again. and then he told me he wanted a divorce. Bad thoughts in overdrive. I took a couple klonopin and lay down but I can’t sleep…….I feel like such a failure. What did I do wrong this time? I have tried so many different meds, hoping one will work. I have been on the unit, in partial and aftercare…..trying to get better, trying to make it work. And now, there is no reason […]

6/24/2014 1 comment

by Kallian 6/23/2014

written by Kallian

She saw my scars. She traced my arm while at work, and just said, “you’re not weak, you’re just too strong to hold it in”. She doesn’t know I like ger, but there was…tenderness there. I’ve never once had that. But I’ve learned from past mistakes, she hasn’t seen the real scars, not my shoulder, not my sides, she doesn’t know the monster within. And I won’t show her.

6/23/2014 0 comment

Orbit

by bullfrog 6/23/2014

written by bullfrog

New piece that Shakinbakin and I put together. I wanted to give him something that he could really sink his teeth into so I wrote a progressive-themed piece for him to play with. It’s sort of a new style of writing for me, for that reason, but I think it turned out well – mostly thanks the Shake’s incredible jamming out on the track, tbh.

Like normal, the poem is posted below for anyone who wants to read along.

>inb4 extend a metaphor much?

Orbit

A fresh sun dawns on the face of a new son
The opening refrain of a song as yet unsung
A race that’s not […]

6/23/2014 2 comments

hello everyone

by Carter 6/23/2014

written by Carter

Hello, my name is Carter. I’ve just joined SP but I have been visiting it almost daily just reading for about 4 months now…Well I will be 19 in august I have been suicidal for roughly 2 years now, I wrote the following note may 13, 2014. At this point in time I haven’t chosen a date or how I’m going to do it. I am posting the note now because it best describes my emotions.

Life takes to much effort , but death is to much work. Without doing anything life is my choice but it makes for a sad existence, at least with death […]

6/23/2014 2 comments

I’m tired

by pandaface 6/19/2014

written by pandaface

HI. I’ve just found this site. I know if my boyfriend or friends or housemates knew I was here they would be devastated. But I am struggling.

I first attempted suicide and began a relationship with self-harm aged 15. I’m now 30. I have a standard abuse history. I most definitely am not original. My parents emotionally and physically abused me. My friend raped me at a party when I was 16. My boyfriend died when I was 17. My friend’s father used me as a sex pet when I was living with her family when I was 17. My boyfriend beat me when I was […]

6/19/2014 3 comments

Hi there I am 19 years of age…

by whydontidie 6/19/2014

written by whydontidie

Hi there I am 19 years of age I have suffered from depression since I was younger then 10 but I always could turn to my dad always knew what to do but he died when I was 11 and I just went worse ever since I have tried to kill my self countless times and so has others I’m hated by everyone including my family I should of died I have over dosed at 13 ended up in hospital kidney trouble I have cut my self tried to slit my neck few months after got caught knife got taken I tried hanging myself some […]

6/19/2014 3 comments

by Kallian 6/16/2014

written by Kallian

Just learned that no one respects me at work. Walked in on a huge group of them making fun of me

6/16/2014 0 comment

the girl that gave up

by supermajor03 6/15/2014

written by supermajor03

she looked at her blades

then looked at her wrist

she misses the feeling

her scars are fading

she was staying strong for so long

she finially gave in

she put the blade on the her wrist

she knew all that work was for nothing

she began to cry

she sat there in pain

becuase she knew she was insane

6/15/2014 5 comments

Help

by donewitheveverything 6/15/2014

written by donewitheveverything

I am so tired. I feel like I haven’t slept in days. I haven’t slept in days I keep having bad dreams. My friend died a month ago, it and I keep dreaming that she died again, and wake up crying. I can’t talk to anybody. I told my sister that I had lost 10 pounds in two weeks, and she said congratulations. 🙂 But, it’s not just my friend dying. It started before that. I keep crying throughout the day. I’m supposed to be happy and friendly and helpful, but I keep having meltdowns at work. I feel ridiculous, I feel like a failure. […]

6/15/2014 1 comment

i want to kill myself but im scared

by paingoaway 6/14/2014

written by paingoaway

being bipolar, having major health issues, and not having any friends makes me need to die. i have noone in real life. i dont work unfortunately. cant keep a job. i reaally need to die. everywhere i go i see folks having what i dont have. i just cant live anymore.

6/14/2014 6 comments

Normal

by justnormal3 6/13/2014

written by justnormal3

I prayed for normal

Oh, how I prayed.

I was so young, and didn’t know that those didn’t actually work.

Given too much too young,

you can’t help.

I wish that this was simple enough for you to understand.

I wish that what I’ve already told you was it. Wouldn’t that be nice?

But there’s more, there’s so much more underneath my skin and on those cuts

I prayed for normal.

6/13/2014 0 comment

Getting worse

by InfinitesimalSpeck 6/13/2014

written by InfinitesimalSpeck

I overdosed about 3 months ago and was involuntarily baker-acted. That was when my family became aware of the magnitude of my bipolar type II disorder.

I have battled with mental illness most of my adult life.Â Things have gotten worse.

I am about to turn 50. I had a successful career where I made very good money. I worked in publishing, an industry that is all but dead. I had a nice house, a couple of cars, a boat. Things weren’t perfect, but they were OK. Then I left my job to work from home on my wife’s business, and take care of my newborn daughter. Long […]

6/13/2014 2 comments

Going to off myself when I get the money to buy a gun

by dbrowmm 6/12/2014

written by dbrowmm

Im an 18 year old male college student, and I’m home for the summer but have no friends and nobody to talk to, just myself and my thoughts… I can’t take it anymore. I almost failed out of college last semester because I slept through half my classes and stopped doing my work. There’s a lot of cool people I’ve met at college but I’ve slowly been distancing myself from them because of what I’m going to do. In 2 weeks I start work for a month and the tuesday after I finish work, I’m buying a gun and taking a bus somewhere way out […]

6/12/2014 1 comment

ICan’tBreathe

by WhereIsTheSilverLining 6/6/2014

written by WhereIsTheSilverLining

I hate the moment when a decision becomes a regret.

I kept telling myself that everything would work out. Â But there comes a point where you can’t lie to yourself anymore. I feel like I’ve dug myself a hole that’s too deep. All the little things that IÂ tried to overlook are surfacing. I can’t reason with myself anymore, I can only see the negative.

It’s suffocating.

6/6/2014 1 comment

Ghhh…

by hechatis 6/6/2014

written by hechatis

Don’t know how much longer I can keep deluding myself. So long as I don’t think of my life – or rather lack there of – I just keep on existing, surfing through web, looking at completely inane stuff… Sometimes I read something or see something and though it has nothing to do with me and at times isn’t even all that sad I’ll feel tears welling up in my eyes. Then I’ll find a way to distract myself and pretend all is fine with me again. (Even though every moment I’m awake I know it’s not – I know I’m not alright)

Then my parents […]

6/6/2014 3 comments

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