I’ve wanted to commit suicide ever since I was 12 and before then I couldn’t really understand the true concept of depression I’d just see it as me being sad all the time. Cutting started becoming my escape from the world because I’d just feel pain and relief at the same time…now I’m just numb from all the suffering I’ve been through and quite frankly the world doesn’t give a shit whether I live or die….right now I’m on the verge of trying to commit suicide again and all I know is that only my family will feel sorrow…..my friends will be sad and bow […]
I dont want to die. I dont want to live. I’m terrified of it all. I’m conflicted, i’m incomplete and I’m suffocating with this desperate need to be loved and yet I do not trust or accept a single persons love.
How do you live when youve lost the desire to live but are haunted by the things you need??
How do you live with emotions that were never tended to.. such important steps that were ignored. I’m in pain and i’m empty. I am exhausted of this world. I’m 20 years old, 21 in march. I’m a light skinned female with, ive been told, attractive lips, […]
first sorry for bad english
This is the last year of my life if i dont change my life in the next 11 months i gonna kill myself so this is my story i am 25 year old and weight 45 kg(i am male) i eat 4-5 meals a day but i dont get weight, most of the time i am mistaken for a 15 year boy and its driving me nuts nobody takes me serios or always makes fun of me i dont mind about when somebody make fun of me because living in this skinny weakling body made me funny(o i just tink […]
did you ever see that film into the wild if you havent stop reeding go on netflix and spend 2 houres of your life in the presents of artistic wonder rely good film any way the man in the film is troubeld by the welth and greed of the world and gos to hide in the wild he is poetic… any wayi wish i could do that just pick it all up and role on out with jacey and stick a midel finger to the world and this cost of liveing we all haft to have i feel srry for the world you know i […]
befor the days were i bent down to pick up pecis of my sole my eyes were bright my hear was long and i didunt cear as long as the sun shone high in the sky but the das are gone were i have time tolook at the sky in a world were i hafe to pay for “the cost of liveing” if you look at it its a joke the cost of being alive… im sorry but what the fuck
How come there are not more people that think about suicide? Do they not live in this world? Do they not see what we see?
“maby i should just let the sun engulf to world” said the god of man kind filled with a pashion for life but he did not have time for a evil race to the girl siting next to him “but if you give up it meens that you will never over come your proplem” the god looked at the girl and smilled “this is true” he says and reterns to wach theerth tern the towns and citeys sending up a yellow light on the night side but on the other green and blue could clerely be seen the question is when is the line to scrap it all and take the […]
Wandering the world aimlessly, I continue to descend, faster and faster as I feel the wind in my hair. I see all the faces along the way, all the hurt, all the desires, all the love, all the moments. Little moments in each box, like presents waiting to be opened on Christmas morning. Presents that will be lost for all eternity. Deeper and deeper I dive into my slumber, into the depths of my mind, the depths of my soul, into the center of the earth and beyond. Everything engulfs me and swallows me whole and I become one once again. Each time I dream […]
I’ve seen throughout my life a reoccurring cop out argument and honestly the only argument happy go lucky people bring to the table. Well its your “choice” if you want to be miserable. “That’s your choice to look at things that way instead of my way, and that’s why you’re miserable.” That’s basically saying there’s only one mindset that works in this world and that’s whatever the hell works for them which they always fail to explain. Are you kidding me? Really if you think about it that’s the same sort of logic that homophobes use towards gays, “your lifestyle and sexuality is a choice, and […]
The thing that make me doubt the most about killing myself… it’s that I fear I would not really get this relief feeling that I’m searching for. You know, you’re in pain, and you just don’t want to feel it anymore… but I think that when you’re dead, you don’t even realize that the pain is gone, ’cause you know, you’re not alive to feel it. If I could be guaranteed that there is something after death. That there’s another world where you can enjoy not to be alive anymore… i would be gone for a while now.
There’s something cold and blank behind her smile
She’s standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile
“You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away”
A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Won’t save her from herself
Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a polaroid that
Lost all her dolls
Trust is a powerful word and most don’t even realize it but i learned through to many experiences that no one in this world can be 100% trusted. I trusted a group of people from a small town i used to live in and look where that got me…it ended up with me getting bullied day in and day out i trusted every girlfriend i have ever had and look ive been cheated on and used or the bullshit brake up lines like ” its not you its me ” and always over text or by Facebook. I know that their are other people in […]
Why does the world hurt?
I look upon others, and I see all the hurt
I tell myself that it’s gone; but that is an outrageous lie
Why are they still hurting; I ask myself.
My parental instincts go forth to thee;
And I try to protect those that hurt by feeling their pain for them;
but if anything they writhe in agony more.
Why do people have to hurt other people?!
Why do adults hurt children? Why do adults hurt adults?!
Why do some not have morals in their lives…
I read all of the pain and suffering
I read of all the murders and crime. I hear of all the struggles.
I cry and pray. […]
They were siting on my friend audry and me and im the one in the black jacked with stripes shes the one crying xD
I went out of my house for a change, to hang out with some of my old friends. I rarely do this now since i tend to lock myself in my room, when im not inclined to go to school.
I hung out with 15 of my friends and we watched “end of the world movies” since that was the theme of the party. I was cuddling with my gay friend […]
He called my name
I walked away
Now im wishing i would have stayed
We walk around
Both looking at the ground
Scared to catch the other staring
But we both move on with out a sound
Remember the first night we kissed
I hope im not the only one who misses it..
I’m stupid for still loving you
My hopes are childish like i am
1 year younger, worlds apart
Here i sit with a broken heart
You said you wanted to ask me somthing..
Now im wondering what
But i lost my chance to hear it
By my own stubborness
Forgive me
For loving you
More then you could ever love […]
The world is quite a peculiar place that I have yet to become accustomed to. Sometimes just the sheer aspect of living overwhelms me. Does that in itself make any sense at all? I very much doubt so, but it pervades me nonetheless.
Even now, looking outside my window; at the beautiful tranquility of the night, the pure brilliance and wonder that the night evokes. Looking off into the glittering scenery before me I can only wonder about life. The significance of everything, The sheer luck and probability that life has unfolded and used to mould and influence the present. The magnificence of it, the questions […]
There is no goal that I have yet to discover that would possibly seem realistic, rational or even in the name of “good†whether that be for myself or for others, that would compel me to keep living.. I have never particularly strived to improve the quality of life for others so it is only selfish and hypocritical of me to complain about my own degraded, dull, lifeless existence.
The criteria and fulfillment that many people seem to have and encourage hold no meaning to me. I don’t see the motives or reason behind such actions or choices that would justify its rationality. One of these […]
I don’t think I can go on any longer, so I finally decided to do it. I tried suicide once before, but I chickened out and told my parents who took me to the ER. I feel sick, I disgust myself. So young in life and I already want to die. Want to know why? Because I’m too sane for this world. People go on everyday not knowing any answers, just living paycheck to paycheck. I am not skilled, I don’t try in school so I do badly. I’m unwilling to work for a good life, so I hope for a better work ethic in […]
To the world that once existed, beyond the fingertips of a women’s hand upon a man’s shoulder. Beyond the crisp eyes of a child in the middle of a city, lost, cold, and unknown of their surroundings. I am writing to you because, I, myself, am lost; lost in a miserable state of mind trapped in your solid box that some may call their home. My life is without water; without moisture. I am in need of essence, reassurance, liveliness. I need the compassion that you solemnly lack. You, give me nothing but the desperate need for air. […]
I am a Christian who has turned into an agnostic (and up to this day, I still honestly can’t find a single valid, reasonable reason to go back into ‘pure’ Christianity again,..though I’m always remain open-minded),
and from my own observations & experiences, & also seeing others, I can tell you this:
God, whatever It is, usually means HOPE.
People need hope, to keep living in this world. otherwise, he’ll find many & any kind of reason to end his/her life (because he/she feels NO hope anymore).
It’s that simple.
Now although I’m very much still questioning whether God is a “He (Him)” (and why does it […]
Older Posts