About two years ago, I started to realize that I was feeling very different. Being only 13, I didn’t really understand my feelings. I stayed locked up in my room when I wasn’t at school. I didn’t really talk to anyone. I wasn’t happy with my friends and I felt completely alone. I finally told my older sister that I was feeling “different” and she urged me to tell my parents but I didn’t have the guts too. I wrote them a letter explaining to them that I thought I was depressed and I wanted to go see a therapist. My parents quickly went to […]
This has been an ongoing battle and I am convinced I was put here for no reason at all. Everything and anything that could go wrong in my life has and is . Nobody ever loves me. Im always the one who gets thrown away. Why do I always want the things that dont want me? Im a good selfless person, but I get thrown away. Im never good enough. Whats so terrible with me? I’ve always envisioned my self jumping off of the Golden gate bridge. The beauty when your up there. The air you breath. The water below that will take you away […]
Hi everyone, English is not my mother tongue so sorry if I make mistakes.. I come from a country where we don’t talk about suicide. I found this website by writing “helium suicide” and I started reading all of these sad stories. I decided to write mine I don’t know why but it feels like I need to.
My childhood was horrible. My father was an alcoholic and when he drank, he did all the terrible things that a father can do to his children and wife (no details…). I started thinking about suicide when I was about 13 and I tried to commit suicide at […]
I’ve recently been diagnosed with bad depression and anxiety. I cut myself often and have been suffering from insomnia recently. The only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because I would be leaving behind the best boyfriend I could ever hope for.
I haven’t been able to discuss these issues with my mother because she doesn’t believe in depression. She thinks people with depression are just weak-minded. She doesn’t even know that I’ve been diagnosed with depression.
She treats me like shit, and gets frustrated when I lock myself away. The suicidal thoughts are getting worse, and I’m getting scared.
What do I do?
How wonderful!
About a couple months ago, my dad tried to kill my mom. I stopped him, then he tried to kill himself by drinking the acid he wanted to throw in her face…
To make things even better, ever since my dad returned home from the hospital (a month and a week ago), there’s been constant fighting between my parents.
And for some reason, I ”need” to get counselling for this ”traumatic” event… As if this was the first time my parents try to murder each-other, or to my dad tries to kill himself…
Oh well, life is good, ain’t it? Fuckin’ tired of this shit…
What is hope? Hope is an ideal. An ideal that involves some conception of a type of safety…whether it be in a hope for something in the future, and hope that someone actually cares, a hope that someone will actually understand, whatever it may be. But what can be said of hope when there is no such thing as safety? There is no safety in friends, no safety in success, no safety even in family. There is no safety in myself. It’s like there are some kind of demons in my head that won’t leave me alone. Everything good is bad, everything bad is worse. […]
dear people, well after a really bad week, decided to give up and surrender to the whitecoats.in going to my appointment, please know that i carry all the shame and guilt that comes with this decision. all those studies and tests i was part of didnt do shit. cant wait to see what is in store for me now. they mean well, but dont know and cannot understand what we go through. i came to this website looking for meathods. i stayed because what i found here hurts my heart worse than the depression. so many people. so many people. i was surprised. really, i […]
Believing in Jesus ultimately helped me. Not too long ago I was very suicidal and broke down. I prayed to God and asked him to help me. The next morning the morning news aired a story about TMS to treat depression. Soon after that I attempted to partake in a medical study that offers TMS for depression. I was screened out of the study which disappointed me and I never got the treatment that I cannot afford. Before the treatment I had to get off 2 medications I was taking to treat my depression. It made my condition worse. When I was screened out I […]
It’s gotten so bad lately. Like, seriously, I’m doing worse in school and I’ve been so close to ending it 4 times in the past 2 months. I have it all planned, I can just never execute the plan. What am I suppose to do? Everything is getting worse, my friend might die from an illness and my other “friend” just causes me stress and makes it hard to not relapse. I already have but I’ve been clean since but it’s so hard to not relapse. I want it. But I don’t. I don’t want anymore scars, I don’t want to hurt. Sometimes I feel […]
I always wanted to kill myself ever since my dad got lung cancer and passed when I was 10. But the thoughts of suicide got worse when I started to get bullied in school at 11. Every year it got worse and worse. I started to cut myself and snap rubber bands on my wrist till they bled. I never felt good enough for anybody. I always felt out of place. I’m twenty now and working. But I began to get bullied there too for being skinny. Its not just the bullying that bothers me, its being single and lonely. I’ve been used […]
suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better <3
I’ve never really liked going away from home. I used to be okay with it though. These past couple of years everything has changed. It started off with being unable to leave for a week. Then two nights. Then one. Now, even a full day trip causes anxiety. I’ve determined it’s not that I’m attached to anyone at my home, it’s my home itself. I am, however, going to college in 2 years. I’m scared as fuck. I’m really smart, and I have the grades to go anywhere. I’m afraid that my emotional problems will hold me back, leaving me unable to go anywhere but […]
Life sucks. It’s pretty simple. When you are born…your mother shits and pisses herself (at least most women do). So you’re born into shit and piss. When you die…you defecate yourself. Your life begins and ends in shit. And do you know what is all through your life? Shit. We do our best to get through it. But it’s all shit. People are fake liars. And even the best of us (humans/mankind) are pretty fucking terrible. Nothing good ever lasts. The pain and loneliness of life just builds and mounts. We sleep, eat, work, pay bills, go through heartache, headaches, financial problems, have families that […]
I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people
I made one of these yesterday, and I thank everyone on here for being so supportive. But, it’s really gotten to me now, I have a suicide plan. I’m going to get a bottle of my heart medication and take it all. I’m probably going to do it before Christmas. I know I shouldn’t and that there is help out there for people like me. I guess I’m just not sure if I want help anymore. I mean, there is always going to be someone who hates me for being me, right? How am I supposed to know I will find someone else like me anyways? That I […]
I feel so low, I have to be around others to earn enough to keep going, I try to hide away so they won’t notice me and won’t talk about me behind my back, even if they do, I don’t want to hear it. I know I have a problem which causes them to do so, if it wasn’t for that I might just be okay. How do normal people cope with it all, laughing and joking and having a good time; hey, I joke, but inside I feel like crap all the time. Life once promised me so much, now I struggle to see […]
Am I the only one that doesn’t want to have to depend on medication to be the rest of my life? Because I went to the doctors the other day and he said that I’m going to have to be on medication all my life. And if I don’t take my low doses now then my suicidal thoughts will just get worse… I don’t want to have to depend on medication all my life… 🙁
My sister doesn’t know y I sleep so long.. I literally have no reason to get out of bed especially when all she does is make me feel worse accuses me of everything blames me for her nd gordy fighting tells me I’m useless that I’m not shit lik y the fuck would I wanna get up if that’s all that’s gonna happen I’m starting to break Idk Wat to do tbfh Idk how to make my fucking life better
I’ve been unhappy since I can remember. Sometimes I forget, that I’m unhappy in certain situations, but it never lasts longs and I quickly get back to my normal state of depression. It’s really hard for me to find thinks that I find enjoyable enough to make an effort to experience them.
I have always wondered what was wrong with me. I studied some psychology and read a lot of self-help books. I made some progress, but I never understood why, despite my seemingly great live, I felt so worthless. Yesterday I stumbled upon the TED talks by Brene Brown and I finally realized what my […]
I’ve been fighting this for years. Trying to be happy in spite of it all. It’s always worse in the morning. Feelings I’m sure you know all too well.. Such an intense mixture of negative emotions, feeling hopeless and hurt. Every morning I wake up to suicidal urges. My family keeps me from it. I cry when I imagine the pain I’d leave behind. So I carry on. Not so much living, but existing. I try to live, but how can I? Happiness seems like a myth. And yet I continue to reach for it. But the most frightening thing is that I think, deep […]