“I’m drowning
Suffocating
Being crushed
So deep
Alone………So empty
It’s dark
I’m scared
I’m sinking
Will I die if I touch the bottom?
I’m drowning
I fear
dying this way
but the surface is so far above
how much strength do i have left?
Can I reach it?
Is that heaven?
or is it just a breathe of fresh air
before my heart gives out
and i sink back
into the sea
save me
Is there anyone out there?
But who can hear the cries
of a man with no voice
for i am in the depths
and my voice lies far above
will someone […]
Tag:
writing
Sometimes I feel like my depression is better, that this is just grief and anxiety.  But even if it is, it doesn’t feel any easier.  Maybe I can enjoy things more, sort of- I was able to paint this weekend- but on the other hand I can’t seem to write creatively.  I had a short story due and for the first time since junior year of high school (about a decade ago), I missed a writing deadline. It was just like my brain wasn’t there. And while I can blame anxiety for my procrastination on my math homework, I can’t on the writing. Not fully. I […]
I’m (supposedly) feeling less depressed. Â And yet why can’t I function any better? Â For the first time ever I’m late with turning in a (creative) writing assignment. I’m so embarrassed and even more stressed/anxious in that I don’t even know how I’ll get it done. Â I’m a good writer, but I just haven’t felt creative since my fiance and I broke up. Â Maybe painting I could do, but words and plot require thinking. I can write a beginning, even a beginning I like, but then I’m stuck. Â The only piece I wrote a significant amount of words to I now hate because of the direction […]
You stopped the pain from carrying on
This is why I’m sitting here writing this song
You lied to me and ended it this way
Didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face
You’re just a coward a twit
All you do is is make my teeth grit
Fuck off back to your own life
I’ll just go back to my one true love the knife
Not even here. I was contemplating sui before and sometimes I think of it. But I feel like I don’t relate anymore. I don’t know if I should even be writing this. I don’t think I should be here. But can’t rule myself out just yet. I obviously need or seek help and guidance but, maybe. Why can’t I be normal like I used to be. Just pull myself together like before. I have a hard time reading others’ posts because I don’t know if I’m going through anything other than self pity.
I’ve been considering dying for awhile now like 8 months. Since I got let go by a girl that made it seem like it would work. I’m still hung up on it, i was told I did nothing wrong blah blah. But I never stopped believing or even, I never had let go of it. For months of self sabotage and begging and pleading respectfully. I got nothing but a “I don’t care, Â it was nothing” to her. Although everything to me. I self sabotaged, cried and sought out everything. Really the ppl of sp is all that ever helped. But I lived with it […]
Hello my loves! So the point of these mini stories I will be writing is I want you all to be able to escape into a tiny pice of beauty that I will be writing. I also hope to inspire each of you to find your own piece of beauty throughout your day 🙂
The sunlight pours through her bedroom window, its tendrils of warmth caressing her pale face. She can feel the heat wrap itself around her lips, nose, ears… that little smile perches on her lips. She gently stretches out across her bed, her tired joints crackling in protest. Slowly sitting up, she takes […]
I feel so numb. It’s almost like I’m dead inside. Ive always battled depression, I’ve always had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was very young. It’s different now… I know I’m going to do it soon. And I’m not afraid to do it. I’m not waiting for a specific date or time… I’m not writing goodbye letters, Â or even thinking about how to do it. I just feel it coming, and when it happens, how it happens, is just as simply not important. Nothing is anymore. I don’t even care how it got to be this bad, or why. I’m not curious, I’m […]
everything i do feels like i am on autopilot. everything i say,do, or find myself obsessed with is purely distraction. sometimes i pour myself into things and eat it up until i’m too full, call it passion.. call it love.. but it doesn’t leave me satisfied.. a hunger i can’t settle. or like a pain i cannot pinpoint, even if every bit of me is screaming “here it is”
i try to plug myself into different things, try to find the switch or cord that will tie me up and say “this is it, youve found it” and all the pieces will fit in place. everything […]
At an age I do not remember…
He loved me. He cherished me,
I can tell from the photos.
But sometimes photos
do not capture
true feelings.
They do not capture,
the despair on my mothers face,
when she tried to console my shaking body.
They do however capture,
the love on my mothers face
as she looked at he and I.
Her young naive love.
For a man that would later,
break her heart and leave their child.
Photos can capture
the twinkle in a newborn’s eyes,
and the light rose color of her cheeks.
But […]
I’m currently a sophomore in high school. I have a few great friends. But ever since high school started, I’ve gotten extremely tired. I’ve always possessed a hatred for school. Not that I hate learning or anything of that nature, I love learning. Right now I’m participating in a rigorous educational program (IB Programme) at the top of my class. I perform exceptionally well on exams and assessments, usually with little studying or review, if any at all. I turn most of my assignments in on time, but the workload is immense. It does stress me out, just like it does all of my peers, but it doesn’t help […]
A beautiful girl in a world so cold
A boy in a new place
They both feel so old
The girl sees a new face
In public they kiss
A trap has fallen
The boy nervous he might miss
His heart has been stolen
The boy falls in lust
The girl sees her chance
He gave her his trust
Her lies pierced his heart like a lance
The fights
The anger
They last all night
Increasing the danger
New friends
Jealousy arises
Happiness never ends
Demons come in all shapes and sizes
A lie so bold
The boy believes
A truth never told
Another girl greaves
Flashing light
Hurried breath
Terrifying night
Impending death
He wants to leave
She begs him to stay
She can’t believe
It turned out this way
Author’s note: This is my first […]
thousands and thousands of miles may separate us but we are all somehow connected in a weird type of way. nobody really understand us so we all find ourselves here writing as a last ditch effort to miraculously get saved. writing eases my mind and it feels as if the weight of the world somehow gets lifted off my shoulders for a hot second. but lets face it, this site is not interactive enough for me. really looking to make more friends who understands the struggles I continue to face day in and day out. so email me and lets vibe. email: splostgirl hope to […]
“A Broken Jar”
So here goes,
One last letter now. One last attempt to make sense.
Who have I been writing to? I’m not sure anymore.
What have I been trying to accomplish?
It’s a mystery, I guess. Self-made secrecy.
Things get cloudy and now all these stories and
The struggle as an undercurrent, both get blurry by the minute both get blurrier.
So, which voice is this then that I’ve been writing in? Is it my own or his?
Has there ever been a difference between them at all?
I don’t know I don’t know.
One last desperate plea. One last verse to sing.
One last laugh […]
I just got to writing a good steam of conciousness for a change, about how no one listens to me. Long story short, everyone else is always telling their stories about their life and no one is willing to listen to mine. Even the people closest to me who see me the most don’t listen, so how can I ever matter in this world? I don’t, and I can’t. Â Anyway, I guess this will be the book to look for when I’m gone. I bought it at least a few months ago but haven’t kept up with writing in it. It was my intention to […]
Everything I say is wrong
Which is why I’m here writing this song
Everything I do can never be right
Which is why I find it difficult to see the light
Everything I say leads me to apologise
Which is why I’m sitting here trying to realize
Everything I do will never be enough for you
Which is why I really don’t know what to do
Everything is messed up
Which is why I always say “yup”
Everything is always my fault
Which is why my life has come to a halt
Everything makes me want to end it all
Which is why I curl up into a ball
Everything is me
Which is why I don’t know if I […]
this is my first post on here. my friends have told me writing about how I’m feeling will help. I’m not quite sure that’s true. anyhow, since this website was created for people to share their experiences and stories I thought I could try it out.
I’ve been on and off in this site for the past four years. I remember creating and deleting a couple of accounts, writing and trashing my posts and I have been doing the same with my life too. I cry, cry and cry and then force myself to go back to my pathetic life thinking it might actually get better someday. I break down into pieces and then collect myself and find a little courage to get it going. I am already tired of repeating the same thing over and over again when its not going to take me anywhere at all. I have lost […]
I have so much to say it would take a lifetime to write down. Mind if I just write my thoughts here? I’m thinking of writing a book about my life. All the pain, hate, anger, love, loss and epiphanies all in one jumbled mess like it is in my brain….right here. I’ve had enough ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy) for it to be so. Any doctor who tells you there are no side effects from ECT is lying. My life is a blur, but the horrible memories I can remember easily. Strong, strong memories. I just need to get my thoughts down.
Anyone here have to plan […]
Before I start, I guess I’ll preface by saying that I’m not really used to doing this sort of thing—that is, writing out my problems to anonymous internet users. Hopefully it is way better than talking to my phony therapist, getting paid 100 dollars an hour for absolutely nothing.
Where to begin? I guess I’ll just say I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD. Except that is hard for me to believe when I actually show signs of ugliness. If this phenomena of BDD didn’t even exist, I doubt I’d be writing this now. There would be nothing for doctors to pawn off as […]