Everytime i try to stop i fail…. i keep cutting. i’ll be clean for two weeks and then i do it again.. i have anxiety.. and depression. I like to cut sometimes… and bleed. sometimes i wonder if i just cut deep enough. and overdose on pills i’d have WHAT i WANT. … WHAT i neeed….. Maybe one day/… but up to now.. im at 4 pillss… strong pills.. all i need is to go far away…. isolate myself… and KILL MYSELF. . i truley love him as well….. but he doesnt know.
May 2013
This is the kinda crap tht get me…fck man ! i have no true friends, ill never have tht one special person who tells me they love me again .. ive lost it all …ill always be alone with no one to care…its jst me in my own little dark place..the only place ill ever feel safe. idk wht to do anymore..life suck right now theres only one way out i can think of..n ive been holding on so hard for it not to happen ik i have a long ‘happy’ life ahead for me bt we will tht being ?! ugh im jst tired..tired […]
I feel as if I’m going insane.. Losing my mind. Losing it.. Like I’ve lost everything else. Everything is cold.. dark.. and unforgiving. Everything sets me back.. So far back. I thought I could have just something that could be mine but I was only mistaken because here it goes. Growing wings.. and slowly setting off. I should whisper goodbye but the words won’t go.. won’t slide off my lips into the cold air.. They’re ready but won’t go. I need help but don’t really know where to look.. I’m alone.. So alone.. I have been alone and finding help is hard so do I […]
I have spent countless hours staring at this gun, familiarizing myself with it. I dare say I know it intimately, how much it weighs empty vs with a full cylinder how much force it takes to for the hammer to start to draw back and everything.
I often hold it to my temple, and in my mouth dry firing it. Practicing for the real thing, I have removed the front sight on it making it more comfortable in my mouth.
When I first started doing this I would jump everytime I heard the empty click, I don’t anymore. I can now pick up the gun […]
Someone saved me last week from hanging myself. The loneliness was driving me mad. Yet, here I am again contemplating death. It is my refuge from the emptiness of life.
Now, I want to die because I simply don’t enjoy it. The one person who brought me joy and color to my world is now dead. I’ve been trying to move on and find happiness in the connections of those still alive, but I don’t enjoy spending time with people. Nor do I have the energy to try and find a new close companion.
So, I just sit in my room, waiting. Waiting for something to happen. […]
done, seems all is to be repeated, nothing specail, just another. done
Today, just for today i want to see myself as another persone, not just not me, just another, and then still decide if i like me.
I am here, all of me, but nothing anyone seems to see.
Tell me how can one persone seem to think that they have a world of love to give, and hate the persone they are.
Beautifull mind, beautifull me, just a lonely little thing i would intriduse as ME
Nothing missed, nothing known, just another day for others to say: I knew her, oh,…
Maybe?
dont really know what the reason is for certain me’s to be here?
What does it take to find somebody in this world who actually cares about your situation and who actually works for your benefit? All I keep meeting is people who turn towards their darkside for any little petty stupid thing and people who have nothing but LIES. Here I am, Amphetimine addict who has just had a dealer I’ve known for over a decade stop serving me and blanking me completely just because HIS stuff  made me paranoid and I guess it tripped him out a bit, after all we havent all got brain conditions due to drugs.
I cant find anybody else who sells it and EVERYBODYÂ I know […]
It’s dark in here,
I can’t always find the switch or the air to breathe.
My days turn into the hell,
My nights are the blissful peace,
Because it’s the only place where I may really do it this time.
I put those awful pills in my mouth again, the taste was sweet serenity,
I lay back with a razor close to my hand,
I look at those cuts, I hear my heart beat ….
Slowly and surely I hope it’ll work this time.
My note is left on the back of my door,
Please don’t suffer over my longing to be gone,
Be gone from this world, cause it’s no longer a world at all.
The […]
People just don’t understand that I’m slowly dying inside. That I feel like such a loser everyday. I’m not pretty. My two best friends, the only girls I hang out with, are super pretty and a perfect size 0 or 1. They are Barbie doll perfect. Ten there is me. I’m not pretty like them, and I am not tiny. Everyone tells me I have a nice body and I’m pretty, so why don’t I believe them? My self-confidence is so low. I just want someone there for me. My “best friends” don’t even realize when something is wrong with me. They just leave me […]
Go to YouTube.
Look up “Baby don’t cut by B-Mike.
Listen carefully to the lyrics.
Aren’t they awesome?
I dont even know why Im writing this. Im pretty sure it wont help but I have to try something… I am suicidal but you know the worst part.. I dont even have the balls to commit suicide.. I guess I should explain myself but i really dont know how to structure this.. So im just going to ramble.
I’m 23 years old and I’m from India. Right from my childhood I’ve had a sense of fear in me that never leaves me. Guess its all cause of my father. He used to beat my mother and sister and I used to cower in fear, just […]
I’m not lost, I’m not in pain, I’m not under that much stress (22/m/In college), I don’t have too bad a life actually. My dad is unemployed so with my part time job I’m helping him stay afloat back home but I don’t mind. He wiped my ass when I shat my diapers as a baby and now I’m repaying him by helping him when he needs it. I’m not religious. I never understood the whole God thing. Not that I didn’t go to church. I really tried to believe, I wanted to believe, I just couldn’t buy into the invisible dude in the sky […]
Maby its time to tell why I am here. My brother killed himself a week ago. He didnt leave a note he didnt tell me, that anything is so very wrong. I knew that he is depressed, because he was in his room all day doing nothing. Hes moode changed super fast … But last couple of months he seemed much better, like he finnaly made peace with the world. I get it now… I read a few pages he wrote. He thought nobody loved him – I LOVED HIM!!! I still do… He decided to kill himself till july and didnt want anyone to […]
My story is kind of a weird one. But here it goes. My main reason for attempting suicide, was a girl. But this girl, is incredible. Beautiful,
Funny, sweet. Id say more things about how great she is, but that would take a while. Anyway, heres the story. This girl, who i pretty much fell in love with, is like my world at this time. I cant get her out of my mind, i cant sleep because of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for […]
I plan on drowning myself. Everything is planned except one of the most essential things: counterweights. I’m 103lbs and weak in strength. And there are no rocks near where I want to go.
I was so excited and anxious, now I’m just disappointed and irritated. I have to do this. I have to. As soon as possible. But the most essential thing…the thing that would guarantee my demise… I can’t think of anything. F***.
Until there’s a solution… I don’t even think I can hide. It hurts and there’s no where safe. But I have to think. Think. Think. This needs to happen fast and soon.
My name is Cassie im 18 years old and a senior in high school. When i was 12 years old i was sexually abused by my own mom. So my life has been anything but easy. In my english class this year i finally told my story and took my life back and know that my mom doesn’t control my life. I’m more stronger then i ever been. So if anyone has been through something like i have you can always talk to me and i’ll give you advice on what to do.
I will finally be free..
There’s a boy.I know you will probably skip this post because you don’t want to read the story of a broken hearted girl,but I will write it anyway because this is the book of my life and no one wants to read it.So I will write this story of love and blood here because this a story of a rock/goth/emo/satanic girl (or anyother names people use to call me) which secretly like a normal bo,you know,one of those cool guys that goes to parties and drink and probably think that my kind of girls must be burned alive or killed because they are freaks.What can […]
I would come up with a better title if that one didn’t fit so well.
I cut myself.
but cutting, to me, isn’t serious. It gets a larger reaction than it deserves and I just do it for sympathy. I never feel anything when I cut. I only feel when I’m laying on my bed weeping my eyes out until my tear ducts are completely dried.
I blame it on hormones, being a teenager, ect. I can’t take myself seriously. I don’t have a good reason to cry. Why do I take everything for granted? Why can’t I appreciate what I have. Why don’t I feel […]