I don’t even know anymore.I got completely hammered in hopes of…i don’t know,maybe getting my mind off of things.Not surprisingly,it feels even worse than when i’m sober.All the time it’s the same,just with varying degrees of shittiness. When you’re drunk,suffering and depression feels even more tangible than it’s usual abstract,existential nature.It’s inescapable.Thank you for existing SP.
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As sad as it is, I totally agree with you. I know I tend to feel shitter when I drink, but I still do it cause at least then my suffering seems more real (in a strange sort of logic). Also I think I do it because I hope it will somehow give me the courage to take the final step I keep thinking about =p
Gotta agree with the final step part,I’ve only thought about jumping from some high place in the last 2 hours.Heh, I guess you gotta “choose” between the impulsive,painful state and the vague,torturous,constantly second guessing yourself one.Best of luck to you(whatever your endeavour),buddy.
I hope you come out of it soon DTADS. Yeah depression + alcohol (a depressant) = double the depression. Certain types of alcohol seem worse. Whiskey is like instant misery for me. Beer is creeping misery. Wine is good for maybe 2 glasses, then down hard. But sometimes you just have to do something, even the wrong thing.