Idk how to get over it. There are times where i dont think about it. Moments where im good enough of a liar to tell myself otherwise. As Winston Churchill said of the truth “The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” The truth is I’m not attractive, social active, or persistent enough to find someone. I don’t know how to change that. I feel like i change every other aspect of my life except this and i feel helpless. The only advice people have is be more confident. Thats like telling a drowning man to have more air. Its the solution to his problem but he is in too helpless a situation to do anything about it. It’s hard to come to terms with the ugly irrelevance of being permanently shunned. Its hard to believe that there is a point of approaching women in general. Im 0 for life from doing it. I have no social media accounts currently. Its nothing but added depression for me. I just want to not be alone for once in my life. Nobody understands it nobody gets it. Nobody knows what its like to permanently not fucking count. Its also the constant rejections from the past in the back of my head it fucking hurts. Especially in the shallowest time in human history. I cant run from it any where not even here. I try positive self talk but i have 20 + years of evidence otherwise. I haven’t even gone for supermodels. Im just not fucking good enough. I want to set myself on fire when I think about it it makes me fucking sick. Im stuck here in permanent depressionanxietyuglinessville im an old piece of dog shit and im so fucking angry about it i could kill myself. Ive failed at that so many times im sick. Im just waiting to die and suffering. I know a relationship won’t solve everything but for fucks sake neither does fucking loneliness.
Edit: for the record i dont blame women. What is she supposed to do with some fat balding dude mid panic attack asking for her number?
7 comments
Haha, I imagined someone telling a drowning man to breath more air…
Oh dear I am starting to see this so much on this site.
Everyone thinking they are so god damn ugly, fat, useless, pathetic, I mean how many horrible words can one use to describe themselves.
Please people, stop putting your self down.
Who says you are ugly or whatever? Only you.
And if someone else does then what makes their opinion correct?
Who made the definition of ugly?
If you fall in to the trap of the media determining who is ugly and who is beautiful then you’re a fucking idiot (and I don’t mean that in an insulting way)
Seriously though stop believing all this crap. Stop creating all this crap in your head.
Hey guess what? I’ve gone from a really hot sexy young chick who could have any guy to an ugly fat and old depressing woman, but who gives a fuck. That’s just life.
I let myself go, let myself get really depressed which both ages you really quickly and makes you uglier and fatter really quick, but I could change that any time I want.
Because the power resides in all of us to change that.
True beauty radiates out from the inside.
Have you not seen stories on tv of completely disfigured people through being born like that or through accidents or suffering 3rd degree burns and more often than not they have a partner right beside them loving them through it all so why not you?
It exists for everybody. Stop pushing it away and welcome it in to your life and start believing that everybody no matter what is lovable – no excuses.
And here’s a true story.
The love of my life whom sadly I am no longer with was hated by many, people were scared of him, he’d done a lot of horrible things, and he was ugly to many, but to me he was the most beautiful person even god like to me and no one will ever come close to that.
I had never in my life felt so much love for someone before so please do not ever think this is not possible for you, because it is possible for everyone. And I mean everyone.
I’ve loved a lot of so called unlovable men in my life, in friendship and in relationship and the only reason they did not last was because they refused to allow themselves to be loved and ran away scared. They pushed the pure love I was offering away.
If you open yourself to it – it will come and then hold on tight to it no matter how scared you get or how much your thoughts want to sabotage it.
And hey being bald is sexy – I have known a lot of women that share that same feeling, so don’t use that as an excuse either.
This is a depression site people here may have self-esteem issues. And maybe they air them out here to feel better about them. I don’t understand angrily browbeating someone who already feels shitty as a motivational tactic at all.
Deadmanliving, I don’t think Suicidal Angel was being offensive in any way. That person is right — all of it. Nicely said SA. Appreciate the time SA.
Understood there is such thing as tone. Granted that is hard to pick up on over the Internet and she definitely meant well but tone matters.
I was just trying to give you some hope,
by sharing my own story, of how even the worst of the worst can still be lovable. That’s all.
I totally relate to how you feel. I have been ridiculed , humiliated and degraded all my life. I’m 50 now and never had any relationship, never been kissed, still a virgin and never been on a date. I have got to the point of accepting that I will be alone for whatever time I have left. Having had thousands of prostitutes laugh in my face and humiliate me had a big effect on my personality and I developed a social phobia with panic attacks.
I hate leaving my house because I feel that all women are laughing behind my back because I am not a real man. I feel inferior to all other men. Having Doctors and Nurses laugh and joke about my deformity took its toll on me. I have no real advice or solutions to help you. I have started to not care any more and have been fantasizing about how many people I can kill when I decide to end things. I have gone through periods of understanding, self pity, depression, resignation but recently just focused on revenge. The world judges me on something I have no control over and considers me a worthless, less of a man, piece of shit, so I might just prove them all right.