So is it so bad to be a gay male.. Yes it is, from how I’m treated. You’d think I was a fucking childmolesting murderer for how the people at school treat me. But no, just gay. It’s my senior year of high school too and you think it’d be the best but it has undeniably been the worst. I never knew that coming out would have such negative consequences. WTF was I thinking! I live in Montana in a small town FULL of homophobes.  And everyone knows that I am gay so that past five months since I did come out have been hell. Everyday I go through the same ritual of people yelling nasty discriminatory comments at me, and those hit hard. really hard.. I used to be happy four years ago, it was nice.. That was when I lived in wonderful Seattle too and it was great, no worries there. But here I am spared nothing. Everyday I have to watch my back because Im afraid of getting the shit beat out of me which has happen twice before. Haha so fucked up.. the last time I did my nose got broken, basically shattered, and my depth perception is off from getting hit in the face so much. My car gets vandalized regularly, Do I deserve this? No i dont think so but I cant take the constant anxiety of when someones gonna humiliate me or beat the hell out of me again. I have a hard time even leavin my house because of this. Im a wreck, a total trainwreck at the moment. So the last five months have been hard, but finally I feel a bit of inner peace because I’ve decided my fate. I cant wait to be out of pain, Im so emotionally drained. I didn’t think it was gonna be so bad around here with everyone knowing but I was DEAD wrong. Life is hard enough without the extra shit from everyone.  I thought I could always rely on myself to get through the tough times but not these ones. I thought I was a strong person and I was but I don’t know whats become of me. Being ridiculed for your sexual orientation is excruciating for me. Alls that I can do after a day of school is come home and cut and cry it out. I didn’t even mean to come out but I did when i became manic and decided it would be a good idea. I always get into ALOTA trouble when I go manic, and now here I am depressed.. morose and dead on the inside, sooon to be outside and when Im like this i just want to lay in bed for days on end and be dead to the world. But instead I drag myself to school already feeling the heavy toll of my depression and then all the extra shit I get from the people is just enough to send me over the edge. Oddly I’m feeling rather good and relieved right now, Im ready.
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Oh Honey!!! What can I say, but that it sucks!!! There is like nothing wrong with you, it’s just the hateful rednecks you live with who are fucked in the head!!! Did your family move with you to small town Montana, perhaps you have relatives back in Seattle who would let you live with them??? Give it a chance, It may be a good idea!!! Please don’t let those narrow minded fuckers drive you to suicide; cuz if you do they will have won, and the next gay kid will be treated the same!!! Take care sweetie!!! =)
People hear you and my heart goes out to you. I am from a small rural town and have seen first hand the idiocies of people with closed minds. They pick people who are little different from themselves and tear them down to build themselves up.
You are who you are and you deserve to be respected for that. I respect that you let people know. I know you don’t know me but I hear you, and I know that you don’t deserve all that hell from those homophobes.
Please, don’t let those hypocritical bigots who don’t know the way to their own ass be the only voices you hear. I know they are loud but they aren’t the ones that matter. Find a G&L support forum on the internet and talk. You can’t be the only one that this is happening to. Give them a chance to tell you how they survived and what it means to defeat ignorance.
People are such a**holes. They really are. It sucks like sh*t that people are being so nasty to you just because they’re narrow-minded. Why can’t people let others live their life? I mean, seriously, you being gay doesn’t have anything to do with their lives. Anyway, I would suggest you get the heck out of Montana and move somewhere where gays are more tolerated, like CA. Try a bigger more liberal state/city, or go to Seattle where people were seemingly nicer there.
These people only taunt and bully because you have taken a grip and decided what you want out of life. Your sexuality is not holding you back, unlike the narrow minded biggots who live in your town, some of whom are probably gay but too scared to admit it. Deep down although you feel crap at the moment, you seem like a strong and sorted individual. And it’s people like you who will succeed in life whilst these idiots around you will fail. Just keep focussed, school won’t last forever and if you can keep your head down and be successful in your exams, it will be a ticket out of Montana to a city or college or whatever that’s more liberal and relaxed. Keep strong & safe.
It is the nature of humans to create and embrace beauty but unfortunately it is also our nature to destroy, especially when we do not understand the beauty that we see. I think you are a beautiful and wonderful person. Where in Montana do you live? Keep in touch with us, don’t lose hope. We want to see you get through this. All this will pass and you will grow into a strong and happy young man (although I agree that relocation may benefit you.. backwoods Montana, ugh..). I love you, kiddo. Keep the chin up. And hey, don’t let anyone bully you around like that. Bring your mobile to school and I’ll punch em right through the phone, I will. :/ Nah you know as well as I do that violence isn’t the answer. Just hang in there. If you get in an unsafe setting, alert someone that can help even if it has to be the police. You are not obligated to keep bullies out of trouble as much as I bet you don’t like bringing anything negative on anyone. They have no right to harm you or berate you. If you have found yourself in a position where you cannot trust authority figures in your area to take control of the situation, you need to contact someone at a G&L support group in your state and get them involved. They won’t stand for that bullshit and they’ll get something done, fo’ sho’.
Here, check out this site: http://www.rainbowlaw.org/html/directoryMT.htm
Love,
James
it’s okay.. stand up buy a gun and fuckemup if they bother you… you find a boyfriend and work out you life… life goes on and so should you… stand up for you…you and you… look in the mirror and when they throw stones throw twice as many back…understand… they throw one throw two;. ect.. they will leave you alone…. okay ..xooxo
I am so sorry! I have been through that, coming out at least. stay possitive and true to your self. I know it sucks to be put down because of who you love. I love you and I will do anything I can to help! E-Mail me at jacob.major@stu.oldham.kyschools.us
In the meantime, find a support group, like James said, and stay possitive. There is someone out there that will love you no matter what. Trust me, he or she is worth waiting. I am Bi and would love to help you. All you have to do is speak out.
Love always,
JAKE
tama k,
i understand your frustration and believe me, i have felt that same way. but it wont help things if anyone goes around shooting people or getting into fights. for one, theres always someone out there quicker and stronger than you and in a fight someone is going to get hurt, at the least. for two, it wont help if everyone goes to jail (assuming everyone survives any fist or gun fights).
we live in a world where civility isn’t just an option or a luxury but a responsibility. i do believe in defending yourself, but senseless violence is not the answer, im sure. i might have misunderstood you, though.
–original poster (whoever you are),—
also, have you tried talking to a school counselor yet?
listen please.
your sexuality is a problem, but when someone throws an insult at you for it, they have a bigger problem than you no matter how straight they are.
it is against God’s natural laws of nature to be homosexual, but it is not a sin. you may be homosexual, but if you suppress it instead of letting it control you(and yes, sexuality does control most people, gay or not) then you will find peace. it’s not about ending the insults, but about finding God. He is the only way out of your problem.
please talk to me. i can help you if you’ll talk. my email address is daniellopez2316@ymail.com and my AIM is k3tk3tk3t
thank you for reading.
dude, you’re almost done with high school. get the hell out of montana, theres a huge world out there with plenty of people who will like you for who you are, not hate you for not being what they want you to be. and don;t listen to those idiots who tell you its ‘against gods law’. if such a being exists, it is beyond such pettiness, unlike the humans who claim to speak for it. you can be another statistic about teen suicide, or you can learn from what you are going through, and help others get through their own problems with coming out.
if you kill yourself, how many kids in the future will kill themselves because you were not there to provide guidance and support based on what you are living through right now?
k3t, please respect that this site is set up by a nonreligious group that makes it a point not to try to enforce any religious or political viewpoints on those seeking help. no one will benefit from being preached at and told that their sexual preference and choice is a “problem”. if you wish to help by spreading the word of YOUR lord, please consider helping out on a christian-based suicide site instead of this one, or try keeping your religious views to yourself. i don’t mean to be snide, but your religion is not the only one out there and this is NOT the place to get into debate about it.
i go to a fairly large high school. One of my classmates hanged themselves on April 21st. it really hit me hard. i later found out it was because he was gay. my first reaction was what’s the big deal? who cares if he’s gay? apparently i am the naive high school girl my parents say i am.
i just want you to know that just because your in a place where your not accepted doesnt mean that no one will accept you there are millions of people who will accept you for who you are. DONT GIVE IN. your worth living.
i may not know you but i do want you to know that if you don’t think anyone will care if your gone, i will.
Fuck Kt3 this is why I hate religion!!! Cuz all you bastards do is spill fucking hate… piss off!!! There is no scientific evidence whatsoever that homosexuality can be “cured” and saying “suppress your sexuality” is fucking arrogant, irresponsible and cruel. Most “ex gays” are deeply unhappy and tortured individuals, and are living a lie just to please a nonexistent god, and their bigoted friends and family… thats like soo wrong!!! Fuck you and fuck your god!!! =(
hi dude. Do me a favour and don’t end your life for the sake of others who have no life! People who bully are pathetic and only do it because they know that they will be like that for the rest of there lives. I was top of the class in every subject at school. I was also the Rugby (yes i’m british) and Athletics captain throughout my school life. I was looked up to and i was also bullied for being popular. Everyone in my last year knew i was gay and nothing was said to my face. I know it was said behind my back but i knew i just had to get to the end of the year and i was free. That was 12yrs ago and i’m a happy out gay man that still sees my school mates and i have a very happy life. If one person back then had told me it was going to be this easy then I would never have worried. I’m going to be that person for you. Its going to get better and if it doesn’t i’ll fly out to you and sort them out for you! Email me if u wanna talk some more i’m happy to be there for you hotmalejtb@hotmail.com
Please don’t give up,
it’ll get better in the future,
they’re just a bunch of idiots,
stay strong ,
cause yes you are very strong.
you’ll get threw all of this ,
it might take time,
but it will be for the best
peace and love
I want to apologize to you for having to endure the painful ignorance of others. Life wasn’t meant to be easy, and its what we do with what we are given, that makes all the difference in the world. I am truly heartbroken over your circumstances, and stories like yours is what inspired me to create my website http://www.myworldmyplanet.com. I am trying to reach out and show people the errors we keep making, and get them to understand the deeper meanings of life. Please visit that page as you may find some resources that may help see you through.
Bless you and keep your head up….
Look everyone in the eye – you have that right – they are no better than you- in fact I believe you’re the better person already.
Much love to you brother,
Dani