Ok, so life hasn’t been so great lately. So there’s this girl who said she loved me a few days ago, and I LOVED her for months and months and watched her get boy-friend after boy-friend while I’m almost certian she knew I was in love with her, so I was basically nothing to her when she had a boy-friend and when they cheated on her or broke up, Of course I was “the best” and “super amazing” because I’m so soft harted I CAN’T not forgive some one. And I just kept loving her. And now recently I knew I would never have her so I gave up on life basically, because, well she was my life. And just a few days ago she came out and told me her true feelings for me. And I said I loved her back while holding back tears, becuase I don’t know how to tell the one who I once loved that I can’t love her any more. She hurt me 1 too many times. And on top of my family life nothing has been going good.And I want to be with her and I want to love her, but I just can’t find the strength in my body to forgive her, not this time. I just don’t know what to do any more. I mean she is so amazing, when she’s single that is, haha. So it’s like, do I ask her if we could once be something? Or do I just ignore it because I need to be with some one, desperately, I need love. But I just don’t think I can accpet it from her. Nope, not this time. I’m just too scared to hurt the one I loved and painfully, still love. So painfully, that I almost killed my self when I knew I could never have her, love hurts. I know what you are all saying “At least you have 1 person in your life who loves you! Stop being such a baby!” Well in words of my counselor (kind mixed up, because I don’t have very good memory of that meeting exactly, it was quite a strong one, lots of water works!) “We all have our different extreme highs and extreme lows, wether one persons high is getting a decent meal, or love from a parent, where the other one is going out or getting money, and their extreme low maybe wanting to die, where as another would be not getting their 400$ purse.” (I added some stuff in there, but you get the picutre) Ok, well I guess I am done here. Thank-You very much if you are still reading, I appreciate it very much. God-Bless!
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5 comments
This is a difficult time, as it is should be. I would talk to her. Tell her you do love her, but she needs to give you a little bit more time. Tell her about all this, about how you feel hurt. If she can accept how you feel and wants to work with you, you’ve found someone very good for you, who truly loves you as well. Don’t pass up something that might make you happy for the rest of your life, for a feeling of pain that may and will pass in time. If you need any help, advice or just want to talk heres my email. Email: youngjoh@grinnell.edu
Love like any substance is just a way to blurr reality, one it you feel the strongest ever but eventually it ends and it can destroy you. Live for yourself, only YOU can make yourself happy..don’t rely on other people to give you that because they will fuck you up.
Thanks, I’ll keep those as words to live by!
well, i agree with patrick. you should tell the girl how you feel, and how all the shit she’s put you through made you want to kill yourself. tell her your true feelings. i know i’m a bit late on replying, but whateverr haha. um yeah but tell her, and if she’s decent, then she’ll actually think about what you said and KNOW what she did and not just say oh ok sorry. cuz, i think, that girl maybe just was too full of herself because she had a boyfriend or two and never stopped to think about how you felt about the things she said or did.
-clara
Well, I think i’ll tell that person that i will ALWAYS love them. And be there for them, and if they ever wanna take a step foward in our relationship, i just mite be ok with that.