im sorry everyone but i couldnt find another way out life is too hard when every one you love just hurts you in the end life has been hard im sick of being depressed all the time i was only ever really happy with chantal i started to get depressed after peter took his own life i miss him so much i think life would of been good if he was still here i hope to see him in the after life what ever that might be i have tryed to kill my self befor a fewtimes and not just over chantal but im ready to die after losing chantal the only one i truly loved i have accepted death and what ever comes after it hell,heavin,walk the earth for all eternity even reincearnation anything is better then this and its no ones falt i just cant take life any more its just too hard i get let down by every one but my friends and i love you all i know any one of you would do anything for me and i thank you all for that but im just not the same any more i feel so alone so empty hope fully i can look over you all just dont let your selfs get let down by anyone i made that mistake too many times i gave everything a had to one girl all i did was love her and fight to make her happy and all her family hated me for it what did i ever do to them if they just left us alone we would still be together still be happy but like chantal said its too little to late and she left me for her ex i hope she had a happy and porfilling life with out me i want you to be happy im just ment to die alone and unhappy i just wish you didnt brake my heart.
dad – i hardly ever see and you where hardly ever there for me but i still love you and you i think you can be a good farther and you, you have 4 boys that look up to you dont make the same mestake you did with me be there for them take them out spend time with them
mum – mum we had our ups and downs but you where always there for me no matter what and i’ll always love you now you got a little boy and little girl that need a mum and dont leave them try to make there dad apart of there life ever kid needs a dad to look up to your the best mum i could ever ask for thank you for!
daz – you where like a dad to me you where always there for me and mum i think you will make some one very happy some day i want you to go out and have fun with your life never look back
vicky – you where the best step mum a boy could ever ask for there has been a few odd moments but i’ll never for get you
family – i thank you all for you have done for me you have been the best family i could ask for i wish i could of spent more time with you all but my time is up
kayle – you where my best mate we where almost the same person you always there for me we had some damm good times never forget them okay man you got alot to live for your a grate guy and i hope you live a good life and never let life get you down always put your self first
david – big dave you where a fucking good friend man every one could always count on you to be there i know you got alot to give your really good at making people happy and i know life can be shit we think whats the point just dont ever let a girl rip your heart out man be strong david
danny T – my friend im sorry for ever joke i made to you i was just mucking around your a really good guy always look out for your friends stay in school give 100% to it okay do that for me okay now get a good job work hard buy a big house and move everyone in 🙂
weeman – now you where always there when i needed a friend you will make a girl really happy some day i know you will till then keep keep happy have fun with life just enjoy it okay
ian – man we wasnt cloce friends but you where still a friend and i hope you and kate are happy and stay together forever just like i wanted with chantal i hope you say happy man never let life get in the way
peta – i only got to knew you for a bit but you where a good friend i would do anything for you, you made me really happy and i thank you for that i hope all goes well in your love life and your life you are the best peta i wish i got to know you more
now last of all chantal – i loved you with all my heart i really did i wanted you to be my everything have kids get marryed be together till the end of time i could never love some one as much as i loved you we had ups and downs i thouth we could get through it together but i just wasnt good enought for you i guess i hope you find some one who will love you as much as i did most of all im sorry for waisting your time lala will always love his chicken xx
to every one i’ll never forget you all i hope to see you all again some day better not be for a long time i love my family and friends i just wish i could of found happyness
3 comments
Hi, i read your script and i am filling up inside,hoping and praying you are still out there hopefully reading this,i am not sure where you are from but you must now take yourself to your nearest a+e and you will recieve help,i have personally felt the same way as you and i found it very difficult as my friends backed off big time, but i now realise that they didnt understand and they were terrified, i know only too well how much it all hurts but please believe me when i tell you please dont make a temporary situation permanent, take care and please now phone the emergency services, Lynne x
Don’t do it!!!(I don’t know why you should listen to me, i mean, damn, i’m on this f*cking site because I was just contemplating killing myself!) I have written a goodbye letter to each and everyone of my family and friends before, i’ve sat in the bathtub with the knife in my hand, pointed straight at my wrist, on my birthday no less, trying to get the nerve to slide it across…..but that nerve never came. However here i am again, ready to take that plunge. All i can tell you is….if you found Chantal, you CAN and WILL eventually find another girl, that’s just simple math (chicks out number dudes at least 7 to 1!!) And if you’ve found one then you have at least 6 or more to go! The last thing i would say is take the time to write a letter to yourself. Write the letter as if you were your own best friend. Do this and get everything out of you and onto paper. Then read and comment on at least 3 other people(on this sites) story.Hopefully it will buy you some more time on this f*cked up planet. Get spruced up and go out one last weekend, and live it up as if it were your last……Who knows, your next true love may be right around the corner. Then leave another entry on this site. Best of Luck
I know you’re feeling very depressed and suicidal. I’ve been there – for the same reasons. I even married the guy and guess what – he didn’t love me anyhow! But killing yourself is not going to fix anything at all. A friend told me once that if the person I loved didn’t love me, that that was because he wasn’t the right one. I didn’t believe her then – I do now. Yes, you may have loved Chantal, but she probably isn’t the right one. What if the right one is waiting for you right now and you go and kill yourself? You would never know that now, would you?
Have you tried talking to someone at a suicide prevention hotline? You need to call them. You need to talk to someone. You need to try every bit of help that’s out there – and there is help.
I’m 61. I’ve been where you are and in far worse. I’ve been clinically depressed since I was 11 when my father died. I’ve watched him beat up my mom and brother, I’ve watched the alcoholism, the legal drug addition, the fights – everything. I’ve tried suicide myself – found out it doesn’t work the way I thought it would. No “peace” in fact I learned that once you “crossover” in a very negative, depressed state of mind, it stays with you – it DOESN’T get better. I was lucky. It does get easier with age – not perfect, but it does get a bit easier. I still struggle, but it’s nowhere near as bad as when I was younger. You learn to cope; you learn to reach out; you learn to trust.
Please – Try every option and unless you’ve tried every option -EVERY OPTION!!! you have no “right” to kill yourself, especially if the one you were meant to be with is waiting for you.
Thanks. And I’ll keep you in my “prayers”.