ok, So that guy started talking to me again last night, he wanted to do it again. But i made up excuses like i wanted to do but had other things to do and i had to go….
And then today on facebook, One of his friends who he told about our past actions asked me this….’answer this question honestly ok? ♥
 if i offered to shag you 😉 what would you say? ;)♥’. I couldnt believe it…. I feel so dirty and used.
And all of that just added to yesterday, my dad didnt even say hello, he just shouted at me. My brother, sister in law and nephew came round and the adults started talking about me, i heard them from upstairs…. things like ‘ You’re handelling this wrong’ came out of my brothers mouth to my fathers ears….. i also heard my mum say to my sister in law that i asked my friend, lauren to help me kill myself. I didn’t, i just said i had some sick thoughts about it…..
The atmosphere in my house was incredible, and it made it suck even more knowing that it was all my fault….
<3
76 comments
Damn! I Don’t know the song for once….
You cant let people use you for anything. You are not dirty.
Love is dangerous…. And people are just using me, and i am soo dirty :/ <3
I thought thats what it was! I dont really listen to the second half of the CD. I only really enjoy the first half.
Nahhhhhh hun you are not dirty. Even if someone is using you it doesnt make you dirty. It makes them jerks. You choose to do what you want in life (for the most part).
And if life brings you down just remember
Take off your pants and jacket.
I hope you know where thats from… assuing from our mutual music taste you do.
Sorry. I am under the influence.
ahaa, nice and yes obviously i know where thats from. guys suck…. i cant really tell your gender so im sorry if thats offenisve…x.
My name is James. I am totally dude. And yes guys can suck. So can girls. We all can at times. I did shit in highschool I still regret to this day (I’m 23).
But not all guys are assholes. Not all guys will use you for sex. Hell, personally myself I find pretty much just as enjoyment holding a girl in my arms as we lay in bed as I do in sex.
But then again I am a hopeless romantic and in love with love.
aw… sorry, if i was a guy i would be offended. :/ And my name is Nat (Natalya) And school life just sucks for me, am i seen as some kind of slut? i thought just me and him knew about it until i found out yesterday that he had told his friend when he got drunk ? and most of the guys i meet and start to like turn out to be assholes :/ x.
Hun that has alot to do with your age. That age group of guys are mostly not like me…
Yeah school like sucked for me too until I turned 17. I use to be really ugly and annoying… but once I turned 17 (though I don’t think it) I became hot and incrediably funny. But like I said I was teased alot growing up so… I dont believe the compliments I get.
But like I said its the age group mostly. It will dwendle some as you get older (not all the way but somewhat). Some guys are truely looking for love. I hope you find that (if that is what you are looking for)
hmm…. i dont know, would a guy just get in my way? my dream is to leave home at 16, move to iowa, become a tattooist and go to a different concert every weekend ?? x.
He could…
I have a Kingdom Hearts tattoo on my forearm XD
And i love going to shows. Try to go to warped tour every year.
ahaa nice, all of those things dont rally go down too well with my family so im just going to leave, sooner rather than later….x.
Its hard to leave at 16…
…Its hard to stay? and i dont know how moving is going to work out for me…..? x
Pretty sure (depending on your state) you have to have proof that your current place is a bad enviroment and also you need a job.
so in other words im fucked ? :/ iowa is just my dream…. or in fact some place in america ? x
Where are you?
urm…. currently residing in the U.K but i really dont like it here, various times i have thought about just running away to a different country? x.
Are you a British citizen?
yes… ?unfortunately? x
Yeah I love in USA. Virginia. I might move out, idk.
I mean I live in the USA lol
You will find it easier getting into commonwealth countries or Europe. USA is impossible. Some parts of England are outstanding. Imagine Devon, walking along the beach every morning, the sea air. It’s what you make of it. Naturally place like midlands (not Shrewsbury), London, etc are going to be crap because that’s where all the crap people are. It’s not always about wealth you know but ideology is different.
The U.K sucks, always rains and rarely snows for winter 🙁 x
i live in cambridgeshire….it sucks here. x
I’m entering the Bristol 10k with my sister. She thinks she’s going to beat me. I can’t afford to let that happen as I will never hear the end of it. I’m now going into training. You should come to Bristol and enter the race.
ahaa… i hate running or in fact anything active. i am so lazy 🙂 x
Love is like plutonium, you need to read the manual so you know what it is and how you’ll be affected by it. Used correctly and directed in the right way, it can be an awesome, powerful, heart filling experience. But it comes down to how YOU define it and what your perception of what real authentic love is. When you love you 100% from within, you’re untouchable. Cheers!
ahaa, thanks xx
You’re cool Nat. Even if you stole my blink 182 stuff 😛
I’m not active either. I smoke and get sozzled every other day but I’m trying to make a change. You could always get a dog because they make loyal companions.
:O Thanks, and how did i steal your blink 182 stuff ?? x
i have a dog 🙂 x
@Protoryu- Wierd. I live in Virginia also haha
Cause you started it (from what I can remember) after my adam song post
hmm…. virginia. is that south america ? i really dont know…x
Well… What can i say? i just love blink 182, i might be going to see them later this year !! 😀 <3
No its the USA. I live near richmond Birdy – anywhere near me?
im confused :/ xx
Well he doesn’t seem to be doing a very good job. Have you been forgetting to give him doggy biscuits because treats are important to a dog. Maybe he will step up on his recent performance.
Yes. I live near the Chester area
its a she…. and shes really fat so treats wont help her ;D xx
I love in North America. The state is Virginia. One of the first states founded. Totally east coast, probaly the closet state to you.
Damn so only like 20 mins from me. My little sister lives in chester. Thats pretty cool. small world
probably, i dont like this. i want to discuss how close i live to someone 🙁 xx
Well I don’t know what to say. Put it this way…
If a flying saucer landed outside your house and an alien asked you why your dog was fat and how you were going to improve both of your lives what would you say. I would be inclined to tell them to go back to mars and mind their own business but what might you say in those circumstances???
Well?
Duke just blew my mind
Yes it is pretty cool haha. And duke you have a great imaginiation
i would say that my dog is perfect and i love her, anyways its my mums fault shes fat, she feeds her too much 🙂 x
Hmmmm maybe you should enter her in the Bristol 10k. The dog not your mum.
ahaa, shes too stupid, probably run off course because she smelt food 😀 <3
Well as longs as she holds up the kenyans which will give me some sort of chance that’s fine.
holds up the kenyans with a hotdog stand or something 😀 xx
That’s the idea.
….and i will be there too…. you know… just to make sure the kenyans dont pass….;) x
How old are you, I’m 26. I work in and am from Wolverhampton but my family are in Bristol so I’m going to try and get a job down there.
m 15… live in a smallish town in cambridgeshire….xx.
Why are you on this site?
urm…. a lot of reasons… check out my other posts? it will explain it better than i could right now ?? xx
Is it like teenage stuff and stupid boyfriends who you trust but turn out to be idiots or more serious?
urm… judge for yourself. ? slightly more serious ? x
What the hell I can’t find all of your old posts. Going by this one it all seems a little OTT. I know at 15 it all seems important but you will forget about it in a few years. If anyone said that sort of stuff about me I wouldn’t even deny I would just say yeah yeah. You would imagine half the nasty things people have done to me.
Why don’t you forget these boyfriends for once and do your school work.
urm… to see my posts click on my name by the title…. and i have OCD so its going to make everything seem worse than it probably is.
and do you know what? i would love to do school work like a normal person. but i cant, so thanks.
It’s okay Nat I understand where you are coming from. I have read all your posts.
I know you have issues and probably have depression. If your not good at academic subjects that’s nothing to be ashamed of. You need stability which will help you stay calm. Have a daily routine. Don’t worry about what people think. You know when I was at school I wouldn’t even eat my lunch in the canteen alone because people might think I’m a loner. Now I go to pubs and walk in restaurants alone. I don’t care what anyone thinks. Do what make you happy, please no one. It’s your life remember.
Hey, are you still there?
Hey Duke,
Nice to see you survived the insanity last night….how’s it going today?
Amakua
Ok I guess. How about you.
Nat, I didnt mean to be unsympathetic, if that’s what you think. You are 15 years old, fragile, vulnerable and still trying to understand your emotions. Why put something like that in the control of people who either have no regard or no experience to deal with someone as unique as you. They will always hurt you for that reason. What I am saying is be more reserved. Don’t take any chances with people. It takes time to build trust, this is something that must be earned. Dont give it away. Never dwell on anything for too long. It’s easy to say that. What I do is go for a walk to clear my head or come on here.
Take care and stay safe.
“Never dwell on anything for too long.”
That’s good advice, Duke.
It’s ok, duke. Sorry if I came across as a *****…x.
Protoryu- really? I’m crazy right? :/ x.
<3
Nah you one cool cat
Don’t worry at all young one.
We can be friends if you like.
Ahaa, your a bad liar xx.
What do you mean.
On a separate note it is way past your bedtime young lady.
Ahaa, not really. And sorry, I was talking to protoryu, and yes we can be friends. You are like my wise old owl…. Just not that old ? 🙂 x.