What should I do?

I keep starting and deleting everything I write. I try and articulate how I’m feeling and what I feel I need to do but I just can’t. It’s not so much that I’m insecure, mostly just that everything I try to explain doesn’t come out right. Writing has never really been my strong point. I really need someone to talk to but there really isn’t anyone here (not the site but where I live). I tried to open up to my mom but she’s was so oblivious to what I was trying to tell her. And I can’t really blame her because she is going through so much in her life; from my dad cheating on her, my little sister having learning difficulties and my older sister – who is a constant worry after recovery from anorexia two years ago. I used to confide in this one girl, but even though she says I can trust her I know that every time I tell her something to do with me being depressed and suicidal she feels awkward and avoids me. I don’t know what to do and I recently started cutting again. I’ve never really done it but in the last four days I have made five cuts all along my left arm. I’m just want to talk to someone. I can’t explain how great this site has been for me but I’m just finding it difficult to explain everything I’m feeling right now. I guess I just don’t know what to do from here… any ideas? Maybe I’ll just see how things go if not I’ll just have to give writing another try – sorry for the hassle