Hi People! Again its me! no joke… i dont write that often x)
anyways! this night, high again but this time on speed… thinking about some things ive done
today for a change i went to my moms place to see her (ya she kicked me out umm.. 1 month ago) so yaa i went to see her to pick clothes and my guitar and also talk and mayb arrange things… abviously she talked to me in a bitchy way this made me FUCKING angry i tried to calm down but i started replying back in a stupide way to joke around (btw i was why on weed) then out of nowhere she fucking leaves!! she leaves and lets me there like if i did something wrong!  after that i go to my dads house (hess a good dad i love him hes the reason why i dont suicide) but tonight… he really wanted to do his *****… he started telling me i was a failure  because of my report card (better than the last one!) and that i dont accomplish much… i hate it … i cried… …. anyways i took a speed and cleaned the house to make him feel better … hope he likes th surprise tomorow morning?…. if he doesnt theres a FUCKING problem!! now ive stoped cutting but the pain in my heart grows bigger and now im not thinking about cutting… im thinking about taking a foul capsule of  whatever drug that can make me die soon… Â
5 comments
Meh, you post when you need to post – feel free to do it more often, ha.(But appears I’ve got read more in depth your other posts). Hope you haven’t been taking TOO much speed. But I suppose that isn’t your worry, and well whatever helps you I guess, just don’t want you hurting yourself too much.
Doesn’t sound like the best mom…but at least you could get your clothes and guitar(you play at all?) Hope the weed at least helped heh. Good that at least you tried to calm yourself, unlike your mother, bet that can’t be easy.
Well, at least you say you’re dad is better and you love him. Seems he can be strict though…I don’t know how exactly he acts and calling you a failure is rather far(like REALLY too far) – but maybe he just wants the best for you. But hey, like you said, you did better and that’s good. I wish he wouldn’t have said those things, and I hope you know you’re not a failure. As for accomplishing, you’re going through school, you’ve improved grades, you’re still alive. You’ve got a life time ahead of you to accomplish what you please. Hope you’ve stopped crying…
Cleaning the house is nice, especially not being ask, so I hope he’s glad…
Hey, well congrats on stopping cutting( something I haven’t really managed ). Hope you find a way to stop the hurting, especially from it growing – but I truly hope it isn’t through a foul capsule/drug or life ending
Sorry for the ridiculously long probably not helpful post…
Very pretty btw.
thankyou very much it isint a ”not helpful post” i think every post counts… everyone that is on here wants to be heard and i want to read what people think thanks for chearing me up! it actually worked 😛 yes i do play guitar im trying to larn more songs and i hope this will become a bigger hobby more than now! 😛 thanks again for cheering me up (ya th speed is still on its effects and this suckss hard… but heh was my choice in the first plac 😛 )
Thanks( ha, shouldn’t I be giving you help and you not reassuring me? ). But I agree.
Oh, well shweet, you’re welcome.
Ah, acoustic or electric? I’ve got acoustic myself, but haven’t played in a long while…Well good luck with learnin’ some new songs. Do tell if you get to learning and playing more, be cool.
Mhm, actually glad I could help. How long does speed usually last?(Only a weed smoker)
hahaha electric! 😛 yaa i started to play some blink182 well frankly, for me speed is powerful for ummm… maybe 10h? i havent slept yesterday night (really not even a minute) and yet i havent slept again :S so it last alot
Oh shweetness. Wish I could play some blink182, nice.
Wow, 10 hours. Not sure if I could handle that… Bah, well be sure to grab some sleep, it helps.