Never good enough!

Im 22 and have had so many issues over the last 10yrs, Anorexia, Bulimia, Clinical depression, bi-polar you name it. I’ve been in 7 different hospitals and am finally home after a 4yr stay. It seems even though i am home im still petrified of a normal life everything terrifies me. I finding it hard to get a job as employers ask for a criminal records check and mine will show cautions for criminal damage and narcotics possesion (Im not proud of that), even going into town on my own or taking the bus is so god damn scary. The idea of sociaising is so hard as i have alot of scarring and it’s obvious what it’s from. Im scared of not being accepted by people. No matter how hard i try or how hard i fight it’s never enough.