I’ve had enough of this pathetic thing people call life. Every time I’m happy, something goes wrong. Also, I’ve gotten past the fact of leaving people behind. I no longer care about that, I just want to leave…and never come back. I want to die to prove to people how bad their words really hurt. Everybody thinks that I’m so happy and carefree, when really I get home, cut every night, and cry myself to sleep. I deal with shit at school from just about everybody, shit with my abusive dad when I get home, and shit when I go to work from my de-humanizing boss. I feel like less of a person every fucking day. I’m ready to end it all and nobody understands. All people say is that I’ll get over it or things will get better soon. When? When will I not want to kill myself or fucking hate every piece of me?…right.
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4 comments
that is just life or shall we say the nature of the mind… one moment you are happy the other everything sucks… dont cut whatever that means… nobody needs to understand you… only you can understand you… fuck them… and dont try so hard go with the flow
Hello shetriessohard,
I want to die to prove to people how bad their words really hurt
This is silly…and I don’t think you are. And what will this do for you? Who are you really trying to punish?
IT can’t get better…until YOU are better…how do you think you could get better?
All that aside…how do you know what death is and what you will experience afterwards…what if it’s worse and you needed this lifetime to prepare you for it? What if it’s better but you are not ready and are sent back?…do you ever think about anything but getting away from yourself….I would like to hear some positive things about you…and I know they are there…but you’ve buried them under your pain, and fear, and confusion and loneliness….
If you keep waiting for someone else to create your experience for you….they will…and have….and it sounds like you can’t deal with what you have allowed them to create for you…so if you had all the control…how would you change your reality…say if death is not an option…which no one really knows now do they?
Namaste
Amakua
Everybody thinks that I’m so happy and carefree…..
So you are lying ‘Shetriessohard’
Lying is tryingTOOhard lots to manage with lies
Truth releases the burden of carrying lies, lightens the load.
Unload here.
What would a day a single day of total truth look like for you? What would you do with that day?
Can you you find your inner angry and someone who will listen? Tell them you just want to vent and not get feedback. This place is good for that too.
So do tell us more about what pisses you off and you feel sad about.
Dying to prove a point to others is a pyrrhic victory at best.
They will pit you and be sad for you but it will teach them nothing.
If you are going to choose to die do it solely for yourself and on your own terms.
Nobody knows what happens after death. We do know nobody comes back and describes it so once done it cannot be undone. Well maybe it can but no human has that understanding of the universe that is publicly known.
I am not going to sit here and tell you not to die but like Morpheus I am going to give you the truth as I know it.
Death ends the current perceived reality.
It does end pain but it ends pleasure as well.
You will have no more problems but no more successes either.
Life is random and chaotic except for your actions that you control.
If you want to end all possibilities and you are comfortable with that, then i wish you a painless end.
If you want to keep seeking a measure of happiness, then I wish you more pleasure than pain and more healing than hurting.