No one knows how badly I wish I could be normal. I wish I didn’t have trouble with bullies. I wish everyone treated me the way I treat them. I am a very nice girl, probably the nicest you’ll ever meet. But all people see is someone who is different. Someone who sticks out because they aren’t skinny. I’m intelligent. A straight A student. I am nice to everyone, even people who bully me. I put others before myself and I hide my pain behind a smile. And these are the thoughts I have:
- Just one more cut. It’s not like anyone notices.
- If I died, who would really care after a week?
- I don’t care if you tell everyone I’m depressed, it just leads to the feel of the metal piercing my skin.
- Today someone called me a ***** and pushed me into a fire extinguisher at school. I have a black eye from where I hit the corner. I just walked away and didn’t say a word. Do I deserve the treatment I get?
- He is the person who is the biggest asshole to me. Why am I in love with him? All I do because of him is cut.
- I am the school’s biggest whore. I have slept with half the guys in my graduating class. Why do they treat me like shit still?
- The only reason I smile… TO HIDE MY SCARS AND MY PAIN. TO HIDE THE FACT THAT I HAVEN’T SLEPT MORE THAN AN HOUR IN OVER A YEAR.
- I know my scars are ugly. But I don’t do it to show off.
- I don’t wanna be in this life. Someone kill me. Please. I would be in a better place.
- The MAIN REASON I cut… My dad has never told me that he’s proud of me. Even after I got a full ride scholarship to a very prestigious school.
My whole life I have had to deal with bullying. I starve myself to death and workout as often as possible. I have lost 50 pounds in the past 2 months. I know it’s not healthy. I know I should see a doctor. I know it’s wrong. I just want to be noticed. I just want someone to see how much the bullying causes physical, mental, and emotional pain.
I just want to be FREE
6 comments
i compltley understand, i’ve been bullied since 5th grade. and i know what you mean. i suck at giving advice because i feel the same way, but i hope you feel better soon.
I wish someone would stand up for you. You dont deserve the things dealt to you. I knew a boy who was bullied and i didnt stand up for him. Now i wonder how screwed this kids life is now because no one would speak up for him not even me. Just because your not the bullier if you stand by and watch it happen your just as guilty
Hi, I’m sorry to hear what’s been going on in your life. Not one person in this world deserves to be treated this way…I wish I could be there for you as a friend. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I want to help you.
Dont kill yourself. I have the same issues. You are beautiful and worth everything. You smile because you can 🙂 They dont smile because they cant! Even if they tried.. Have you noticed their never smiling while their pushing you or making remarks about you?
A lot of parents shirk their responsibilities and do not reflect back or help guide you to love yourself. We think we have to be so fantastic in order to be loved. This is not true.
Where you’re at takes courage in the face of what you’re experiencing. Courage to put yourself 1st, and feel good about that choice. It’s not your fault but because you have low self-esteem you make the choices that you do.
I love the moment in Back To The Future where McFly belts biff in the mouth. That’s courage. I encourage you to dig deep for it. It’s a choice, you must choose this. You will feel a great sense of empowerment when you do because you’re giving the message that you come first and your world will reflect it by showing you the respect and kindness you deserve. Read the post I put up titled, “Go For It”. Take care.
Bully’s are always difficult to deal with. They use psychological tactics and eventually physical violence. Do not try and win them over. That’s not what they want and it won’t work. Something needs to be done about the immediate situation. I understand why you can’t tell your teachers or parents.
This is a difficult time and we have all been there. Even cool dudes like me get bullied. The latest rumour is that I’m gay because I don’t really show any interest in girls. That just totally not true. I would try and explain what my problems are but they don’t want to understand they just want to put me down because it makes them feel good. You understand, most of the things people say are not true. So, what you have to do is show that nothing they do can hurt you.
You sound clever. Use your intellect to make them feel inferior. I would not advise you to do what I did when I was your age. I just found the worst bully and knocked him out. All the geeks thought I was a legend.
Anyway, if I was at your school I would help you out by knocking these idiots out for you but I would just get arrested. Play it smart and beat them at there own game.
I had all sorts of problems at school and I used to feel sick every morning. That said, I still wish I could go back without the stress of work, debt and life.
I’m now 27. I don’t have a car, house, wife, equity, kids etc and I’m putting pressure on myself to get these things. They are what I want but I just get so tired. You don’t have to worry about any of those things so all your worried about it some pathetic bullies. The losers in life. School forces you to mix with the riffraff so just drop them like stone.