You cheated on me for another guy, when I thought we were always happy.
You look at me with your cold eyes, and tell me i’m just a friend
2 years long our relationship, it means nothing to you.
You tell me it was because I didn’t treat you right, that’s why you left me.
Can’t you just take the blame? Can’t you see how much I’m hurting?
Can’t you tell me that you’re not a good girl? So my image of you can finally shatter?
I’m holding onto our good memories, you made me so happy
You were so beautiful and so cute, I considered myself lucky
Finally, I said someone to love me
I finally finished my finals, my feelings are allowed to come out
Just like that we are no longer together
I hate the fact that you’re over me so fast, you are already with someone else and I am not
4 comments
Hello Ezz,
How long ago did she leave? How long are you going to mourn? Why do you need to understand her motives and feelings? You cannot understand or control your own.
She has moved on because she is not causing herself to be stuck…you are stuck trying to understand something that is over….and you don’t understand that you are doing it….”emotional pain lasts on average 12 minutes…anything beyond that is self-imposed”. So you are creating your own pain by trying to hang on to something that is gone and as such you are no longer aware of all the other possibilities and opportunities that are out there.
Does this mean you are bad or crazy? Nah…just human. The truth is that all human experience is limited…everything must end…nothing here lasts forever…not even our human concept of love…even we will die one day…to this world…so why do we get so attached to others…to people, ideas, comforts?…knowing everything has to end? Because it feels good…until it doesn’t.
You are grieving…the human condition…but you can control your grief…right now your grief is controlling you…that is all…..when you realize that ….life is waiting….maybe the next person you meet will teach you joy again…maybe you’ll help them to experience joy….but not if you remain in your past…your future awaits you. There are still good things for you to experience…when you are ready.
I hope you find peace…keep the good memories…leave the rest…it just wasn’t meant to be….and return your beauty to the world.
Blessed Be
Amakua
Thank you for your words, she left about a week ago. You are right, I am living in the past, but help and guide me, I feel lost and clouded without her.
Good Morning Ezz,
I would love to help and guide you….but I have enough trouble keeping myself out of trouble. I find that the best thing to do is to keep as busy as possible….get out and about when you can…and when you can’t…don’t….just realize that thoughts and emotions are random and ever changing…you won’t feel the same from one day to the next. Don’t make any major decisions about anything for a little while…sometimes when we’re down our impulse control is out of whack…why…I ended up here…this is a good place to get those negative feelings out and examine them…without tooo many repercussions…and you will find if you get the bad stuff out…it sometimes makes room for new stuff…maybe even good stuff.
Life is about constant change….beginnings and endings….it makes me wonder …hmmm…I used to have a real problem with the hallmark version of love….the one that most people adhere to….and it is not real or healthy…if you make another person your reason for living….and they leave…well…you get it. This is not what love is…just the advertisers version….real love is comittment and hard work…the kind of love they try to sell us is “passion” and that never lasts.
I am currently working on saving a 15 year relationship…by understanding what love really is….not so easy…and I am old…but if you love someone…you love them…whether they are good, bad, indifferent, pleasing….love is unconditional…so even though he left in September…I still love him…but I understand the hurt and confusion for sure….see I love him….but he doesn’t love him…he spends most of his time telling me he doesn’t deserve me….which is ridiculous…lol…no one deserves me. That is what my mother has always told me….lol But because I love him….I wish the best for him…whether it is me or not. The problem is then…what do I do to comfort myself? I could give you my extensive list….but you probably have your own…love yourself….be patient with yourself…forgive yourself…and learn something about yourself…and move on.
Was this the only person in your life that mattered? I don’t think so. Think of all the others that you have loved and been loved by…maybe this ONE won’t sting so much. Just a week? You are fine…and doing the best you can…like talking out negative feelings and fears on here instead of hurting your loved ones with them.
The truth…time heals all wounds…just give yourself some time and space to work through this…and you will come out the other end a healthier, happier person for the next partner perhaps…and definitely for yourself.
Namaste
Amakua
Hello Ezz,
You need to moderate my comment when you get back.