i wanna become an actor/ err maybe an astronaut/ psychologist….eventually when i get better
I have ADD, severe social anxiety issues, i’m scared of people I’m a high school dipout due to loosing friends/paranoia (i have one close friend)from depression due to selective mutism, Im paranoid, some OCD, I’ve had a past some mild sexual abuse…I’m a loner, use to be suicidal, use to think of it everyday but now im better.(i’ve attempted it),I might have avdp, and maybe social ptsd I can be really sensitive but I always bounce back. I’m a mad genius, usually a step or two ahead. I am kind of random, I love to sing and play keyboard by ear, video games, swimming, rock climbing, being outdoors, star gazing. wrestling my brother(I’m a vegetarian, but not afraid to sneak in some meat animals (but bugs freak me out) , scary movies, making movies I’m a good writer, ( I suck at reading though ? and I fancy myself an artist. I have acute hearing, a night owl,’m sneaky I could be a spy. I’m very mysterious, scared to express myself, I think too much. (get lost in my thoughts)I suck at sports, could live without them. I am super clumsy. Kind of insane.(I dont understand myself) I’m a good looking girl (could be a model i’ve been told many times)but im super lonely and lost and confused. Idont do drugs/ I dont like alcohol, i think its stupid. FEAR IS THE ONLY THING I’ve ever known, Things would be so much easier If i didnt care, and was straightup to be myself. IM A SCREW UP, loser, every day i wish to restart my life but then again i dont wann change anything.
No one unerstands me, not even myself. Im scared to open up and explain to people.Oh and I love to laugh. (weird sense of humor).I know i seem bipolar,,, im fcked, im making it sound better than i actually have it..so much more but you get the jest i guess….I’m so ashamed with my issues, I coverthem up but its not easy, im afraid to die, een more afraid to live HOW CAN I NOT GIVE A SHT ?
2 comments
WOW, thats alot crazy! I think you sound pretty damn interesting, My brother has ADD and hes now married and has full time job, even though he is still kinda crazy!.
He doesnt have ocd or anything and hes not depressed so i dont know for sure if you can be happy.
I read all your ranting posts aswell, you seem to hate and love alot. But its fantastic that your sharing, you need to get this shit out, so keep it up.
We all give a shit even if we say we dont, even the toughest sons a bitches on the planet want to be loved and accepted even if they wont admit it.
So hang in there, and just be yourself, all the crazy stuff included, its part of who you are, and you will never truly be happy until you accept what and who you are.
I hope this helps.
Peace 🙂
Hmm
People say I’m OCD because of my persistent posts about horse racing
I just like horse racing and telling people about it
People say I’m an alcoholic
I just like a drink, what’s it to them,
Some say I should go to gamblers anonymous for help
I tell them, I need help finding winners
They say I should see a psychiatrist
Maybe I’m depressed, what’s their excuse?