Dear mom

Dear mom

How can you be surprised? After everything that’s happened over the last few years how can you be even be shocked that I’m angry with you? After everything I’ve gone through and all you could think of you! I neededmy mom and my dad to support me and you could only see yourself. I needed someone to hug me and tell me it was going to get better that this was a rough patch. You couldn’t be there for me and help me through my two weeks of hospitalization after trying to kill myself because how dare I try and kill myself on your house had it worked you would have had to sell it because it would have been just to unpleasant for you! Well I’m angry! I’m so jealous of my friends who can talk to their moms About their problems. Who don’t even think twice about confiding in them. I’ve tried so many times but you refuse to listen and now its shocking that I’m resentful that I’m angry that I’m no longer trying to win your approval?! I don’t care anymore I don’t care! Your are so selfish I’m supposed to feel sorry for my feeling, well at least i own my feelings! I dont care anymore don’t look for me anymore because I’m not there I’m dead you finally get what you always wanted just your two perfect sons because god forbid you could ever love another woman, much less your own daughter! This is who you are though…. You wonder why I have no self confidence well you destroyed it my self image is fucked I hate everything about myself but I guess that’s what I’m supposed to. Im not worthy of love or kindness and my relationship of you is proof of this. Maybe on day I can love myself and I know that day may never come but i know if it does it’ll happen a lot sooner then the day I ever love you again!