Im going to keep this short, and I`ll be back.
Mom, Dad,and well everyone else, You`ll never read this but Im sorry. Sorry for everything. Im sorry your daughter goes to sleep wanting to kill herself. Im sorry you dont understand. Im not trying to act like a whore, but if being wanted is what keeps me alive let me keep it. I cant do this anymore. Im going to wait till im on the anti depressents, Im going to pretend everythings okay. But if one more thing happens..Im gone. Out of this world.
“If you want to help me, help me die”…Im not happy anymore..And i havent been for years. Â Just help me out.
I wish I could say I love you mom, but I cant. Your putting your pride and worried about me embarrassing you over helping me.
Dad, well your not here much anymore and I havent heard from you in a month. But dont worry I dont care
Because none of you were there when I needed you the most. I dont need you now. Im used to being alone.
Whoever reads this, well i`ll be back.
4 comments
I can really relate to the whole not having your parents there for you when you need them the most. My parents like my brother better than me and there excuse for me being not what they wanted is that they didn’t raise me because they worked so much but then again who’s fault is that. They pretty much blamed themselves I think about suicide a lot and i care less and less for the people around me I get bullied at school and called gay because my best friends are girls. I was abused as a younger kid at my baby sitter for about 4-5 years. I will be honest I am very dysfunctional but very good at hiding my depression.
Hi,
`I’m used to being alone` – it hurts, right? but it makes you strong. it’s a pain that cuts through everything you do, but it’s also a strenght no one can take away.
it’s the strength that your kids will admire you for one day. it’s the strength that will make you smile at all the other things life throws at you. it’s you.
ps. every time i cath myself thinking i’ve been led down by people around me i try to ask myself how often have i not been the friend i should be? how often do i really know what’s going on with people around me? i bet you they often feel the same as you do, but don’t talk about it. you’re not alone, i promise, don’t be so hard on yourself and look around and see how often others feel the same as you do.
I agree with everything germaine said above. Also…if you are starting on antidepressants, give them good time to work. Some need six weeks before you start to feel any better, and some people need to try more then one type. So don’t rush anything, please 🙂
Thanks everyone