I’m one from a very good life. I’m 20, been in a good relationship for going on 5 years. I have friends who love me and a family that’s never split up and always been tight-knit. So, what’s wrong? Why do I just want out? I’ll go long periods of time where I feel okay. (No, not great and not bad. Simply okay. Like I know I exist and I’m fine with that) yet when I break, its hard. I’ll have the worst mood swings, going from absolutely rude and waspish to bawling my eyes out and feeling alone. Incredibly alone. The past few days this loneliness has felt all-consuming. Like, every little happy thing that happens, every kind word, I suck it all up like a sponge and yet the void only feels bigger. What’s the point of being here if nothing makes it go away? When you can’t handle the overwhelming emptiness inside? Are there some of us who just don’t belong here?
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There probably are some that don’t belong here. Obviously I’m not talking about us. I mean the bad people. I have everything I should be happy but I’m not. I feel the loneliness and emptiness and no I don’t know why. I can’t figure it out and I need to escape that roller coaster too. You’re not alone.
I know exactly how you feel…When you’re living the good life and yet you still feel like shit. Empty, lonely…terrible. Though at least you have your long periods of okay times, I think that’s something to think about – means you’re not completely broken, right? I’m sorry I don’t know of some cure to help you out of this, but I hope just toughing it out to reach those long periods of at least “okayness” is a temporary thing to do. Do you think there is something missing from life? Some aspiration/goal? I don’t know…and I’m sort of scatter brained at the moment, sorry. But yea, as zac said: You’re not alone. I hope we can help you find out why you feel this way…
WillTickin;
The long periods do seem to mean I’m not completely broken yet, but at the same time I hate them because they feel like such a sham. A joke. I’ll honestly feel like maybe everything will be okay again and then they end. You don’t have to apologize, hon, for not having some Magic Eraser for the bad times.
Its possible something is missing in my life. Though, at the same time whenever I do find something I want in my life there’s always that nagging doubt. In my own mind, I will never do well enough, never be good enough to get over these rough spots and have the things I wish to work for.