She wakes up everyday and look at the clock as it was a curse, one more day to fake a smile and walk trough life emotionless.
She remembers the voices on her ears when she was little, she feels someone is there to hug her but that someone is unknown and that scares her so hard she wants to cry… but she can’t, her feelings are hide on the deepest of herself so she can’t show what is feeling.
She goes to sleep with the hope of no waking anymore, but when she opens her eyes in the morning and realize that she stills in the nightmare, she breaths and let her heart keep beating because she is too coward to end it herself, because she doesn’t want to cause pain to the ones around her… what an interesting feeling since they don’t care about her, but she just can’t do it thinking of avoiding someone else’s pain and walk through the life as a zombie with the hope of it to end soon.
That “she”, that “girl”, is me. And I don’t know what to do with the feelings killing me inside…
2 comments
I can tell you right now, that this whole post is exactly how i feel. Every day.. If only i knew how to help myself id give wrds of advice but i dnt… Feels like im dying more then the last day, every new day i awake to… I dont think ill ever stop wishing for the end to come, i just dont think ill ever be able t make it come…
Well it feels a little better to know that you are not alone in the feeling :} idk like you feel there is someone to talk about it and make it get better?