I give so well.

no more depression starting today. At least, no more acknowledging it. I know why it’s there now, I know it. I’ve got the spotlight on my darkness. I’m no more better off but at least I’ve come to terms with this putrid existence. I’ve drowned in misanthropy, hatred for my fellow man. I’ve closed myself off to the world for the most part, spend every day miserable and unsatisfied.

I know now, nothing will please me, and that’s just fine. I feel that much more at peace with death and will fear it that much less when it comes, whenever it comes.

I’ve been doing the same thing my entire life, going to a building and moving papers about, sometimes scribbling things down. From kindergarten till now, 5-6 years of office and mailroom experience. Getting some fresh air and taking a vacation wouldn’t do me much good; I’m afraid of most things, people especially. So afraid to interact and get involved in life; seems so frivolous and leaves me with an empty feeling.

I’m sitting at the video game console playing a terrible game, but there’s no other game to play, and I don’t know what else there is to do besides play.

+5 apathy