August, 5th will be my 28th birthday. My previous deadline was my 30th birthday, but I just can’t wait that long. Now I’m struggling to wait even my 28th.
I can’t find a reason to go on. I don’t care anymore about my future or work or studying or hobbies. I thought that I could at least be useful to people with the same kind of problems, and that if I can’t help myself, helping them could be my purpose in life. But who the hell I’m going to help, I can’t get close to anyone.
I feel so hopelessly alone. I don’t have real friends. The only person I can ask for help is my ex which has her problems too and can’t help me anyway and doesn’t even want to listen anymore.
I can’t stand this loneliness. I’m costantly thinking about just surrendering, jumping off a building or hanging myself. When I’m driving I find myself going faster and faster and I guess one day I’ll just head to a wall and forget to brake. Three months until August, too long to wait.
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I recently turned 28.
I’m telling you, 28 beats the crap out of 27. I feel so sorry for all the stars who died young and didn’t get to witness this incredible year.
It’s like, if I were a tree, and somebody looked at my rings, the 28th one would be neon. That’s how awesome 28 is.
A lot of people say things get worse, but man, since I turned 28, I’m soaking up more good fortune than you can beat a stick at.
I won the lottery. I met this girl with the body of Kim Kardashian and the mind of Stephen Hawking. Oh, and I just got a job reviewing 5-star hotels. Life is sweet.
I’m telling you, 28 is the year it all changes. 28 is the chocolate cake of dogshits. It’s the D-cup of titties.
You don’t want to miss 28. It is in no way like 27 or all the years before that.
Regards from the future.
I’m not into that 27 club emulation thing, they’re just numbers to me.
I first picked my 30th because I wanted to go leaving some insurance money to my family, but two more years it’s just too damn long. I’m trying to wait at least my 28th just to see if something will make me change my mind, but I can’t think about anything that has the power to.
Any idea why you lost the zest?
I don’t think I actually ever had it, I feel like I got to my age by chance.
I don’t want to sound like those annoying people who say that it will get better, so I won’t. I just want you to know this.
Hi, my name is Kenzie. I’m a 14 year old girl, and truth be told, I want to die. I almost did it last night. But I want you to know, there’s something holding me back, and I’m not sure what it is. I want you to email me if you want at kenzie.fallenangel33@gmail.com and then I want you to watch a video on youtube, it’s called stay that way. I’m always here to listen and care if you want to talk. I’m not like most teens. I have really no emotion except pain. I know how you feel. Just know that you are not alone.
Hi Kenzie, I’ll send you an email.
don’t try to find reasons to justify going on, go on for the heck of it .. as long as you have some energy left, why not use it ?
who knows, you might experience a life changing event that interferes with the belief nothing matters enough to have you stay here
And why use it?
Yes I don’t know the future, but it really matters? I’m starting to think I don’t even care the possibility that I might be super happy in six months. Getting better or getting worst are becoming non influential.
I can relate to being indifferent .. I’ve been losing interest in life since 2006 .. I can’t care less for work, socializing, relationships, making a lot of $, buying the last iPod .. music & sex = probably the only things that keep me bound to this planet
I could kill myself this week .. the thing is I believe in life after death: I picture my essence/spirit/whatever leaving my body, moving to the spirit world and then think: man, you checked out a lil too soon .. also, I’ve decided to experience life as a free spirit until I truly get bored with that .. till then, something may happen that’ll take my mind off this indifferent state of mind
why not use it ?
I don’t believe in afterlife, so the choice for me is between feeling shitty every day until some misterious mistery will happen, or just quit and if something good is in my future who cares, I can’t regret my actions from the grave anyway
I see
when you feel shitty every day, each day is a day too many & you resent the universe because you have to watch people go through life like fishes in water while you struggle to get out of bed .. if this is what you’re referring to, I was in that place during the cold days
to be honest, I have the motivation to live another day only because my intrusive dark thoughts left w/ the return of the sunny days .. all I have to deal with is apathy at the moment
You deserve reasons to keep living. It takes a brave soul to dedicate even a small amount of time to helping others overcome suicide. Many find their way to this site because they are frustrated that the world is overlooking such incredible worth. You may be here for the same reason; regardless, you are member of a community that will see you supported to your 28th birthday, your 29th, your 30th, and on, and on. You can also muster up your strength to improve your quality of life, and get involved with your studies, work, or hobbies. If you’re feeling particularly brave, you may even consider joining a volunteer group like habitat for humanity, or peace corps. You’re still young, trust me, just keep working at your problem, and in time things will be more manageable.
Thanks.
I’m struggling between the desire to make myself and others happy and a force that keeps me motionless, freezed. Sometimes I wish I was a tree or a plant.
I can’t do it alone.