Suicide at 50

axjb9,

I completely agree with your post. I too am also in my early 50s and still have one parent and a sister left but for all intents and purposes, I am alone. I feel sorry for all the younger people that even have the suicide option as when I was a kid it was not even on a list of options. I feel that whatever life I came to live was done many years ago. I have been gradually getting rid of a lifetime’s worth of stuff and have put together a nitro setup for when I run out of stuff to get rid of or the energy to find some reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I know that younger people have grown up with the internet and have many things that I did not have as a kid but I feel kids have lost many intangible experiences in what they call childhoods now like drive-in movies, 5 and 10 stores and most importantly the concept of a global future without nuclear arms, terrorism and having all of it ground into their minds with the 24/7 news that continually bombards us daily.

I would be very depressed as a young person now with the global financial situation and this feeling like everything that’s been building up over the years is finally going to come to a head. It was nice as a kid being so removed from all the crap in the world and I have many wonderful memories as a kid. Sure I had some real crap too but I was only dealing with my crap and not having to take in all the world’s crap at the same time. I could not even imagine having to deal with a 9-11 type experience or even the thought of one happening.

The thing that saddens me the most is what our culture is and is becoming. People don’t interact anymore. I don’t call texting, email and social media interacting. I think it started in the 80s when people started becoming so self centered and self obsessed. What we did have for news, was news and not entertainment and mindless opinion. When we did watch the news we were told what happened and not what the broadcaster’s opinions were and what everyone else thought about what happened. It is important to be informed but not inundated with current events or the ability to feel bad about people and things that I can do nothing about.

Before I get accused of being a technophobe, I am by trade a computer geek and do see the value of the internet. I just think we have lost more than we have gained from it and still haven’t learned to use it to enhance our lives. For many it’s become just another boob-tube they sit in front of at night.

I have been dealing with anxiety and depression over the years and am finally getting too tired of trying to live a life with this ball and chain I have to drag around that makes everything so unnecessarily harder. I was never one of those people that wanted to live forever and while I did think I wanted to make it to 60, I would
be okay with leaving now as I see it as any more time is just diminishing returns.

I have tried all the meds and for some people they work great but for others they don’t. I just feel it’s getting close to pulling up my tent and hopefully moving on to something else if there is a something else.

Joe