A few years ago, my business partner stole millions of dollars from me which forced the closing of the business that I spent my life building. Â Shortly thereafter, I turned to gambling out of desperation, and what little I had left after he stole the money has been consumed by it. Â It has destroyed my life, my family’s lives, and my career. Â I have stopped gambling, but the consequences have finally pushed me past my ability to cope with them. Â While I don’t necessarily want to die, I simply can’t deal with being asked literally 20 times or more per day for money that I owe but have absolutely no way of obtaining. Â My own family comes to my place on a daily basis asking for money I owe them, so I have no escape, and I have nowhere else to go. Â I have told them that they need to stop because they are going to drive me to suicide, but I have said it so many times and haven’t carried through with it that they are numb to it, keep coming over, and even say things like “You’ll never do it”. Â I am like a caged animal that keeps getting poked and prodded.
I have tried a “choking game” style suicide three times, each to no avail. Â Every time I fail at suicide, I become petrified that I am stuck in this world with absolutely no way out. Â I can’t seem to bring myself to jump from high places, or I would. Â I don’t have a gun or money to buy one. Â I just want the misery to end, but I have no money, no job, no prospects, and no one that cares about me anymore.
If anyone out there has any sympathy at all, pray that I simply die of natural causes tonight. Â Death doesn’t scare me – making it happen seems to elude me though. Â I suppose if I try hard enough, the hanging thing will work. Â I just hope it works soon.
1 comment
I read your story with sympathy and interest. Myself I’ve had money, a successful career, my own business, and have lost it all. My confidence in tatters I abused drugs for over 10 years to make sure I was well and truly screwed. Now 44 years old and moved back in with mother. I know how much the financial pain can hurt. Now sober, clean but feel without a future.
Can’t you tell your creditors (family) that you have no money anymore and there’s no point asking for it everyday. It won’t make it come will it. They have to get over that but they are going to be angry I suspect. Financial problems are one of the main causes of suicide. In Greece right now they’re practically having to queue to jump off buildings. But don’t do it. It won’t help anyone – then there would be no way of them getting paid back at all. Stay alive and try to service your debts even in a small way. It would make you feel better. Do you think you are totally unemployable?