Sadness :'(

I think it sounds like your mother really loves you and doesn’t know how to express it. Do you understand how hurtful it is for a mother to have their child say ‘why did you bring me into this world?’ It is basically you accusing her of failing as a mother. She counterattacks to your perceived attack. True, it is immature. But I think it shows she care and loves you very much, but she doesn’t know how to express it. So she preteneds like nothing happened. Love comes in many shapes and forms, and not just the wholesome kind you see on TV. Your mother loves you in her way. And you love her, in your way. but I advise, if you don’t want her to attack you in this way, maybe refrain from saying things that sort of accuse her for your depression.

Maria, she has an excuse, it’s just not a very good one. Her excuse is that she’s just defending herself because it feels like your are attacking her. Just like yourexcuse for blaming her for bringing you into this world is that you were angry. Everyone is human and makes mistakes that hurt other people.
Look I understand how hurtful it is. When I was 15 my mother also told me I was better off killingmyself. Yet t the same time I knew she loved me. She was just frustrated and cared too much about my pain and didn’t know how to react so she said stupid things. Try to see things from her point of view. You can’t take these things at face value. If she makes you feel bad then stop engaging with her. But don’t for a minute think that she doesn’t love you.