I’m tired of being alone, laughed at, made fun of , name called, and taken as a joke. I hate my life so much. I shed a tear at least once every day. Probably more…
I’m sorry I couldnt be perfect. I’m sorry I could be pretty or skinny like Daisy and Danielle. I’m sorry Im ugly , fat and  pathetic.
I never get to be happy. There hasn’t been one time since I was 11 when I was fully and truly happy. Bad shit always happens to me and not the fucked up people who really deserve it. I’m always there for everybody. But when I need a shoulder to cry on or somebody to talk to, guess whos there for me? No Body. fuck all y’all.Â
5 comments
Being ‘fat’ doesn’t make a person ugly. It doesn’t make you any more of less of a person than those other two girls. Perfection doesn’t exist, so don’t aim for it, just try to find the reality buried under what feels like the hopelessness and pain because under there is the you that deserves to be accepted.
hey nothing_life13 .. welcome to SP
as a teen I had a lot of anger and sadness inside, 1 of the reasons being that among my siblings, I was the fat one .. why did I have to be the fat one ?? fuck my genes, fuck you life etc
people wouldn’t call me names (maybe they could sense my misery or sthg), but I could see the judgement in their eyes .. it really makes you feel like shit, a failure .. also, being fat and lonely will kill your self-esteem, I know
not sure you wanna hear this, but there aren’t many ‘options’ in order to stop feeling this way: you can focus your mind on losing weight (NOT just try, make it your goal and commit to it) or you’ll have learn to accept yourself the way you are, grow enough strength to not be affected by labels .. only you know which option is more in tune with your personality
good luck in whatever you decide
* affected by glances and labels
Hi nothing_life13. I am here for you, a kind soul.
I believe life must have been very difficult and insulting to your essence. Most people behave that abusive way because of the social conditioning of our society. Most people lack the awareness that how their actions might create tremendous sufferings to others. If the people you meet keep hurting you and harming you, you have to learn to go back to what you have been as a child- innocent, kind, worry-less and free. Our mind has the tendency to go into unconscious when subjected to external circumstances. These modifications on our perceptions result in several wrong doings as well as follies that will make us regret when we finally know what we have been doing.
I have been through 10 years of unconscious living – addicted to pornography, gaming, foods – which resulted in severe depression. I had not had good sleep and was in severe depression for years. My body, as a result, was severely weak and when I started to realise my follies, I could not accept them and it turned to a vicious cycle. After few years of seeking the meaning of life through reading books, helping others as well as meditation, I am completely free of my past and am able to live a peaceful life. If I can, why can’t you? Start aligning yourself with your true self, or the self that was in you when you were a young child – innocent, likeable, respectful, kind and so on.
Listen to this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNkr86zZaP4
If life is too tough, accept it. Countless people have been destroyed by the evil in the world, and we are lucky yet not to be annihilated. Stop letting external factors to influence your internal soul. Let it untouched, let go of your assumption. Live in the moment.
If this isn’t enough to calm you down, read “A New Earth†which can be downloaded easily from Google.
Wish peace reside in you.
You see, nothing_life13, the reason why the name calling, the being made fun off and all that, are happening, is because you’ve made yourself to accept all those things they’ve said.
You don’t have that self-love going on. And these arseholes, they can see it. They can sense it. You’ve made yourself to be a kick-able puppy.
Nobody is perfect, sweetheart. NOBODY. Pretty or skinny does not equal to perfect.
I’m sure you’re pretty too. Beautiful even. You just need to believe that you are.
At this age, it’s not something easy to do, but if you want things to change, you have gotta start loving the reflection you see in the mirror. Appreciate all that you have.
These things only happen to make you stronger. As painful as it is, you’ll soon realize how all that you’re going through will make you a better person. One way or the other.
You don’t need to be daisy or Danielle. Just be yourself. Because, that is the most beautiful thing that you could ever be.
I’m not saying these things, to hurt you. I just need you to see. I’ve been where you’ve been. There isn’t a way out if you don’t start loving yourself.
I’m here if you need extra ears to listen, email me at : secondchoice21@gmail.com of you need me. <3